1 year on MFP

Well, it's been 1 year....1 year since I started on MFP...........1 year since I was at my HIGHEST weight EVER!

So, what have I learned in that 1 year? What have I accomplished in that one year? What battles have I gone through? Conquered? Failed at? WHAT HAVE I DONE?

In this 1 year, I have learned a lot, tried a lot, succeeded at a lot, but also failed at a lot. I have lost weight, I have gained weight back. I have so much that has happened. So much that I can't control. And many things I wish I could control, and am still trying to learn to control.

I still NEED to learn to control my cravings, how to NOT drink POP(I hate pop being called "soda"!), how to exercise regularly, how to not let things that I can not control affect me, how to eat when I'm not going to be able to cook at home-or sit at a restaurant to eat even.

This last year, started off SO well for me with this weight loss. I dropped 20 pounds like it was nothing, next ten took a bit more. Then I hit a plateau. It took me FOREVER it seemed to drop off of the plateau, but I FINALLY did. Then SLOWLY got off another 20 pounds. And hit ANOTHER plateau. Again, took me FOREVER so it seemed to drop off that plateau. That plateau mattered though, that was the one that took me under 300 pounds. I hadn't been under 300 pounds in roughly 3 years. After I got off that plateau I managed to lose another 8-ish pounds. Then life kicked in, the STRESSFUL part of it. And within 3 months, I gained back 1/2 of what I had lost. And in the last 3 months, I have been TRYING to maintain and lose that weights again. One of the worst parts of gaining the weight back, is to what weight I gained back to. I gained back the weight to the point of where I hit my 1st plateau! OUCH!

In this last year, I have learned, well more so come to realize the importance of water. I have learned the importance of tracking the food I eat, and the exercise that I do. The importance of choosing the right foods. The importance of teaching my kids the right foods. And trying to figure out how to make healthier foods here at home, while eating out less. Also trying to manage portion sizes-that's still a hard one. All facts that I am re-learning currently again.

The last year has been hard. There have been so many ups and downs, highs and lows. The start was easy. The stress wasn't there. Once November hit, the stress did too. My dad's wife broke her hip. So I had to take over her duties in their business, taking time away from my duties, my FAMILY, and really making mine and my families schedules VERY difficult. Also in November, my dad had an episode with his pace maker, requiring an over night stay in the hospital. And in November, my sister whom I hadn't seen in 13 years came to visit, which meant we had to clean the whole house for a family get together.......THAT'S NEVER FUN(except for the calorie burn!)! Then in December, my dad and I were in a car accident. He is still trying to recover, I still have the occasional twinge of pain and stiffness, but tis life. Now my dad's wife is home, and I'm still doing her business stuff(she has had QUITE A FEW other medical problems since then as well). The time has just been stressful. Once she came home, the weight started coming back on.

So, life, it makes this hard! And since I have started this journey, I have learned a lot. And I need to learn it again, and again, and AGAIN till it sticks!

FACTS:

STARTING WEIGHT: 356

LOWEST WEIGHT: 292

CURRENT WEIGHT: 324

STARTING BMI: 57.5

LOWEST BMI: 47.1

CURRENT BMI: 52.3

STARTING WATER INTAKE: maybe 1 glass a day

BEST WATER INTAKE: 8-12 glasses a day

CURRENT WATER INTAKE: 5-10 glasses a day(the 10 was just hit today)



GOALS and REALIZATIONS:

My starting goal was to lose 100 pounds by 6/21/12.

Realization: I am only down 32 pounds.

1/2 goal, was to reach 120 pounds by 6/21/12 since i was at 64 pounds lost 1/2 way through, I was UNDER 300 pounds.

Realization: it's going to take longer then I was hoping to reach that 120.

My current goal: to become under 300 pounds again by October at the latest, and under 250 by my birthday next year in May, that's 84 pounds away.

Realization: I am going to have to work extra hard to lose the weight again, and KEEP it off.

Realization: I can't let stress get to me like it has and does.

Realization: I DESERVE to do this for myself. I DESERVE to be able to by those cute clothes at the store. I DESERVE to be happy with myself, and to have a positive image about myself. I DESERVE to get some self esteem back(thanks to all the jerks the helped me ruin it! Not naming names here *cough*kevin*cough*chad*cough*.....lol). I DESERVE THIS!

So, there you have it. I have lost, I have gained, I have maintained. I should really look at this last year as a positive because I am still down 32 pounds from where I started. It is hard to see it as a positive because I KNOW that should still be a 64, but it is a positive to not be at 356 anymore. I still have 174 pounds to go to hit my ultimate goal. But, I must take this day by day, one failure at a time, one triumph at a time, one pound at a time.

Here I Go Again!

Here I Go Again - Whitesnake - - - - the lyrics just seem to fit (and yes I KNOW I'm not alone, I always have my AWESOME MFP family to support me!)

No, I don't know where I'm going
But, I sure know where I've been
Hanging on the promises
In songs of yesterday
An' I've made up my mind,
I ain't wasting no more time
Here I go again
Here I go again

Tho' I keep searching for an answer,
I never seem to find what I'm looking for
Oh Lord, I pray
You give me strength to carry on,
'Cos I know what it means
To walk along the lonely street of dreams

An' here I go again on my own
Goin' down the only road I've ever known,
Like a drifter I was born to walk alone
An' I've made up my mind
I ain't wasting no more time

I'm just another heart in need of rescue,
Waiting on love's sweet charity
An' I'm gonna hold on
For the rest of my days,
'Cos I know what it means
To walk along the lonely street of dreams

An' here I go again on my own
Goin' down the only road I've ever known,
Like a drifter I was born to walk alone
An' I've made up my mind
I ain't wasting no more time

But, here I go again,
Here I go again,
Here I go again,
Here I go

'Cos I know what it means
To walk along the lonely street of dreams

An' here I go again on my own
Goin' down the only road I've ever known,
Like a drifter I was born to walk alone
An' I've made up my mind,
I ain't wasting no more time

An' here I go again on my own
Goin' down the only road I've ever known,
Like a drifter I was born to walk alone
'Cos I know what it means
To walk along the lonely street of dreams

An' here I go again on my own
Goin' down the only road I've ever known,
Like a drifter I was born to walk alone
Goin' down the only road I've ever known,