Finally ready to take control

Hi all,
I am new to this site although, apparently I signed up in 2009 and don't even remember!
**Edit, oh my, it says I joined in 2008 and I really don't remember that!!

My battle with weight began as a child and has haunted me my whole life. I am what you call an emotional eater. I feel like "I had a bad day so I deserve this" "I haven't eaten all day so this food is OK" and the excuses go on and on and on. As a child, I was picked on and can remember being told I weigh 98lbs in first grade. Not only did kids pick on me, but my family used to say things like "Eating again" while they video taped me. Those family members have apologized in tears and I forgive them, but the scars are still there.

A few months ago I was contemplating gastric sleeve surgery. That was the new easy fix that would take care of all of my problems. There were a few issues though....based on my BMI (over 35 and under 40) I wouldn't qualify unless I had a co-morbidity (which I do not). I still pushed for this surgery. Even after I went to an information session and my intuition told me, you should not be here. You CAN do it on your own. And yet I still pushed on to the point where it could have ended my marriage.

I have been successful in the past losing weight. When I was 19 I took diet pills with ephendrine and lost 50 lbs. within 3 months. I kept most of it off then I had a baby when I was 23 and weighed about 10-15 pounds more than pre-baby. Depression hit me hard and by the summer of 2008, I ballooned up to 240. In the fall, I had a breakup with a boyfriend (the old breakup diet never fails for me) and I went on weight watchers, ate under my points, and lost 40lbs. Then I meant my husband and through pregnancy and life, I reached my high mark again.

So here I am. And I am ready. My husband and I have been eating healthy together, exercising together, and thus far, succeeding together. I feel this is my time. Let the past be the past and I am the one in control. What I do know is calories count a lot! You can exercise but if you don't watch what you eat, you are only cheating yourself.

I am writing this blog to help myself and take the first steps towards the life I have always wanted. I hope to make friends on this site that I can support and can also help me along the way. So please add me!!! We can do this together!

~Donnalee