Facebook harassment... what would you do?

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roachhaley
roachhaley Posts: 978 Member
in Chit-Chat
Okay, so here's a brief synopsis of what just went down on Facebook.

I noticed on the sidebar thing that my friend had commented on an event's page. The thread that she commented in was started by some guy, we'll call him Bill. Bill was saying how the coffee shop was run by a bunch of "nazi piece of *kitten* c*ck suckers". I guess his argument was that since the coffee shop's name was "Gypsy", the owners must be Nazis or racists.

Anyways, a couple of us jumped in there, saying things like "It's probably harmless, not many people know Gypsy can be an offensive term" and "If it bothers you, don't go to the event or the coffee house" etc etc. Perfectly reasonable statements to someone who is obviously pretty peeved, right?

Anyways, for the next thirty minutes Bill comments on this thread calling us all sorts of horrible things. Nazi pieces of *kitten*, white racist pieces of *kitten* (not sure what he was on about there, seeing as he was white as well), american nazis, german nazis, etc. I wont go into much more detail because he got progressively more and more abusive. He even inboxed me saying I deserved to die, just because I happened to be white. He also made (extremely) homophobic statements towards someone who is gay. I dont know, it all just seemed a bit crazy to me.

Is what we were saying reasonable? Or is the word "Gypsy" really so offensive that we all deserve to die? I've looked around briefly online, and it seems like the word can either be extremely offensive or just fine to use, obviously mostly depending on the context and attitude of the speaker. I honestly believe this coffee shop, that has been around for decades, means no harm by using Gypsy in their name and I feel bad that they, and random other people, are getting so much abuse over it. I reported and blocked him, but I'm afraid he won't get in any trouble.

I dont know. I dont really expect any replies to this, but I dont have a blog and needed to vent/ask questions. I'm torn between thinking "okay, this guy is obviously not very rational, dont listen to him" and "oh my god, what have i gotten myself into". The way he talked was actually very scary and threatening, and I'm not sure where to go from here.

Replies

  • Bahet
    Bahet Posts: 1,254 Member
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    Dude's psychotic.
  • Flutter_By
    Flutter_By Posts: 8 Member
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    That is why they have a report user function on FB. You should use it, especially since you feel threatened.
  • ScatteredThoughts
    ScatteredThoughts Posts: 3,562 Member
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    I don't see anything else for you to do in that situation. If it was really that bad, then it will be dealt with.
  • christine24t
    christine24t Posts: 6,063 Member
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    I'm not sure what the laws are in your country, but to be that is signs of harassment and especially if he threatened to kill you, I'd report it to the police. Print the convo right now so if he deletes it it is still there.

    ETA - Don't know much about the gypsys but I don't think it is a huge deal anymore. Come to America and you'll see all these shows like "my big fat american gypsy wedding!"
  • roachhaley
    roachhaley Posts: 978 Member
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    That is why they have a report user function on FB. You should use it, especially since you feel threatened.

    I did, but frankly I dont know how effective it will be, FB staff must get many, many of those report user requests a day.
  • Pebble321
    Pebble321 Posts: 6,554 Member
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    Simple.
    Walk away from Facebook!
  • roachhaley
    roachhaley Posts: 978 Member
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    I'm not sure what the laws are in your country, but to be that is signs of harassment and especially if he threatened to kill you, I'd report it to the police. Print the convo right now so if he deletes it it is still there.

    ETA - Don't know much about the gypsys but I don't think it is a huge deal anymore. Come to America and you'll see all these shows like "my big fat american gypsy wedding!"

    I blocked him, which prevents me from seeing his comments anymore. I deleted the message right after I reported it because I didn't want it in my inbox anymore.

    And yeah, I've seen that show, but the show actually originally aired in the UK (at least I'm pretty sure, I know the original documentary series about travelers originated in the UK)
  • propskat
    propskat Posts: 191 Member
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    Facebook Drama can get reallly awful. I would say if you don't have to deal with this guy "Bill" in real life, just don't sweat it.
    Life is too short to get wrapped up in someone else's psychosis.
  • roachhaley
    roachhaley Posts: 978 Member
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    Facebook Drama can get reallly awful. I would say if you don't have to deal with this guy "Bill" in real life, just don't sweat it.
    Life is too short to get wrapped up in someone else's psychosis.

    Yeah, I probably never will and dont even really know what he looks like, I'm just afraid that he's actually you know... psycho, and would try to yell at me or hurt me IRL if he ever saw me (or anyone else that he was talking to)
  • propskat
    propskat Posts: 191 Member
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    Definitely report to the police if you think there's a chance of actual physical harm IRL.
  • tomomatic
    tomomatic Posts: 1,794 Member
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    To me, Gypsies is a term that's used to refer to nomadic people of Romanian/Eastern European heritage. Their presence in Europe was frowned upon because they often were accused of crimes, practicing magic and seducing the locals. They are feared/reviled/looked down upon in most of Europe even today. My coworker from Afghanistan actually told me that he was raised to stay away from them or risk getting cursed if he crossed one.

    In the US I don't believe it's considered a derogatory term. In fact, most textbooks refer to them as Gypsies when talking about the Holocaust. Even Magneto's back story in X-men refers to his family as as Gypsy and not Romanian. I could be wrong. (If I am, I apologize now). More or less, the term is used to describe different fabric patterns and focus on the nomadic lifestyle that unencumbered by material possessions.... kinda bohemian-like. I can see that in a coffee shop name.

    As for Bill, he's over the top. He's coming from an angry place. Report him. He can come at you with a educational mindset, but he'd rather rage at you into submission. He's probably got a complex about his short stature... and he's probably short, too.
  • 152dbs
    152dbs Posts: 116 Member
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    wow...id get a 12pk of Coors and harass him as long as i can open the bottles. personally id laugh it off....being offended and feeling threatened dont fall in the same realm to me. there are tons of keyboard commandos that think they know this and that and try to put their spin on the world....

    id return fire, but thats just me.....but like a friend told me...."arguing on the internet is like winning the Special Olympics...", but it sure is fun.
  • roachhaley
    roachhaley Posts: 978 Member
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    wow...id get a 12pk of Coors and harass him as long as i can open the bottles. personally id laugh it off....being offended and feeling threatened dont fall in the same realm to me. there are tons of keyboard commandos that think they know this and that and try to put their spin on the world....

    id return fire, but thats just me.....but like a friend told me...."arguing on the internet is like winning the Special Olympics...", but it sure is fun.

    Huh? I wasn't offended by anything, besides being told that I should die.
  • 152dbs
    152dbs Posts: 116 Member
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    "nazi piece of *kitten* c*ck suckers" that usually offends some people...but with my demented sense of humor, i laughed a little. sadly im subjected to that language daily by my clients....and ive been told by countless ones that they will kill me....10 yrs later im still here.

    just dont put too much worth into an idiots words. hes worthless, the words are worthless. there are only a small amount of people that will talk the same trash in person as they do via the internet. ive met alot of *****cats that were lions online.
  • caraiselite
    caraiselite Posts: 2,631 Member
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    i would just troll him.

    but reporting him works too
  • Chairless
    Chairless Posts: 588 Member
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    welcome to the internet i guess, you are just experiencing a bit of impotent keyboard warrior rage.

    ignore psychotic rants of anonymous stranger and give them what credit they deserve, none. you have already dedicated more thought to this than what i would consider rational.
  • Deka61
    Deka61 Posts: 74
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    Simple solution to it all...Ditch Facebook. I did, got sick of the idiots mouthing off, the lurkers who are "friends" just to see what you are doing. Your real friends will still email, telephone, visit, etc. You really don't need the rest.

    Gypsy, the word offensive? only to Gypsies, and there are reasons people find them offensive.
  • gypsybree
    gypsybree Posts: 218
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    Is what we were saying reasonable? Or is the word "Gypsy" really so offensive that we all deserve to die? I've looked around briefly online, and it seems like the word can either be extremely offensive or just fine to use, obviously mostly depending on the context and attitude of the speaker. I honestly believe this coffee shop, that has been around for decades, means no harm by using Gypsy in their name and I feel bad that they, and random other people, are getting so much abuse over it. I reported and blocked him, but I'm afraid he won't get in any trouble.

    I dont know. I dont really expect any replies to this, but I dont have a blog and needed to vent/ask questions. I'm torn between thinking "okay, this guy is obviously not very rational, dont listen to him" and "oh my god, what have i gotten myself into". The way he talked was actually very scary and threatening, and I'm not sure where to go from here.

    I've used gypsy in my username for years and have never heard that it was offensive and I fight and argue with all sorts of idiots. So this is a first.

    However reporting people isn't.. and no he won't get into trouble. My friend has someone impersonating him on facebook--using his photos and name and such and we've reported it for a year and they've done nothing. So as a general rule facebook doesn't really do anything it seems--unless you run a page, if you run a page then you will get banned on some of the admin accounts for whatever it is you may do wrong.

    I think you've done all you can do and probably walking away is the best/only option.
    If facebook decides to punish him -- as they very well should then he can just make another account, etc etc etc.
    I suppose you could pray for him, but all the praying in the world isn't going to change someone who uses free will.

    I think at this point you should just be proud of yourself for stepping into a very deep pile of mess complete with fire ants and know that you tried to do the right thing and you tried to help someone see the truth.
    I am. :)


    **Side note/Random Fact: I use the word Nazi to describe alot of people.. but not to that extent... manly people who are dictatorial and hypocritical... its a term my cousin and I coined for my restrictive parents during our teenage years.

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