I hate being the largest person I know
themermaidartist
Posts: 1
I have nobody to blame but myself...I know that...but out of my group of friends I am the most overweight...and that just eats at my soul..we used to all be around the same weight...I started my weightloss journey for real when I decided I wanted to have kids and saw my friends were losing weight. I was married a year and it wasn't happening so I finally decided to stop trying and to lose weight first...I lost 5 lbs and decided to wait until I lost at least 30lbs..then boom, I got pregnant July 2011...Instead of gaining 25-60 lbs like an average pregnant person, I talked to my dr and a nutrionist and I LOST 15 lbs while in my first trimester...In the end I only gained back 7 lbs that was in fact the babys weight. I was very pleased..... I was however disgusted during my pregnancy when I was considered high risk even though I was so 'healthy' and when I had started the 3rd trimester I had to have nst's and ultrasounds weekly, which all were normal...but when I saw the paper for the rx for them and it said, morbidly obese high risk pregnancy I wanted to just cry my eyes out...that is the worst thing I have ever seen on a piece of paper with my name on it. Even more than my weight. Then he was born this past March and within two months in total since I got pregnant I have lost 25 lbs....I thought that was great...but I am still the largest person I know. I finally see my true image in the mirror and it disgusts me. I have well over 100lbs to lose to even be normal.......SOO here I am...Struggling, watching all my friends lose weight...I go to the gym as much as I can as a working mother and I have been tracking my weight and calories...But now I need more friends in my journey that run the same path...my personal friends are helpful but not on the same journey as me it just makes me feel more defeated. I don't want to do weight loss gimicks or crazy weight loss in 30 days, I want to lose it healthy and for good, the normal way...with healthy diet and exercise. I know it will take longer, but it will also last longer. I want to be under 200lbs before I have my next baby...thats about 100 lbs to lose! ugh..there I admitted it, you do the math...please don;t judge that I weight this much...Anyone with me to encourage eachother?? 
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Replies
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ugh, yeah thats the worst feeling ever, to look around the room and realize you're the biggest one there. I hate that feeling. Actually, let me rephrase. I HATED that feeling. All it takes is dedication, and time, and you'll eventually have success.0
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Judge? What's to judge? You are well on your way to a healthier lifestyle! Congrats on taking the first steps on that journey, and congrats on the baby!
You are already doing so well! Keep at it, and you'll be the envy of all your friends in the end. Not to mention, the happy, healthy mother to your kid(s)! :flowerforyou:0 -
Same here... : ((
But, one healthy day at a time will change that... : ))0 -
You can do it girl!! MFP is so great in that you can find a hundred people on the same exact journey as you. You can get the support you need and lose that weight! Good luck girl 0
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If you have already lost 25 pounds since the pregnancy, you are doing great! Keep it up girlie 0
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I could not agree with this more. Keep up the good work. It is hard being a working mom with little kiddos trying to loose weight but YOU CAN DO IT!!!Judge? What's to judge? You are well on your way to a healthier lifestyle! Congrats on taking the first steps on that journey, and congrats on the baby!
You are already doing so well! Keep at it, and you'll be the envy of all your friends in the end. Not to mention, the happy, healthy mother to your kid(s)! :flowerforyou:0 -
It's heartbreaking and frustrating and I am right there with you. I'm the largest person at both of my jobs, largest of my friends, second largest in my family, and it kills me. And I know it's my fault, but it's been a roller coaster ride trying to change.
You're not alone, and it sounds like you're on the right path. Feel free to get in touch if you like. I'm always looking for someone to support and be supported by. 0 -
1st - Please add me as a friend. I have alot of friends here who have helped me along the way as I have helped them. I log on everyday, actually I am almost always on even when I am at work.
2nd- On 3/26/12 I started my journey here to a healthy me. I was 281 pounds, my legs and feet where killing me every night when I got home from work and my youngest son (23) and I were kidding around and poked his tummy and said oh your getting a belly. He is in the military and the most fit of all of us. His response was well look at that spare tire you have around you and then said you know I am kidding mom. I just replied with well it took me a long time to get this spare tire. When really it broke my heart. So here I am 90 days later and down almost 40 pounds. My goal is to lose 141 pounds, lol I will be here a lonnnnnngggg time.
Know you can do this!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!0 -
I have said so many times... I am SICK of being the largest person in the group! When I see fit people everywhere, I ask myself are you the only fat person. Lame thinking I know, but obviously part of my problem. Good luck! You are much younger than I am, but I need more friends too!0
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I was in your shoes 2.5 years ago...well no pregnancies but I was the biggest of my group of friends and it really started bothering me. I mean, to the point where I was starting to develop a type of social phobia, I'd think about how I could skip out on plans to meet up with my friends. Nothing I wore was even remotely cute or comfortable anymore... That was my breaking point. I had been overweight/obese for nearly half of my 36 years and most of the time my weight didn't bother me much but I had hit my heaviest a year after getting married and couldn't seem to get myself under control.
I'm so glad to hear that you're not interested in gimmicks and you're fully prepared for slow and steady loss. That has been the way I've done it and I've never been happier during a weight loss attempt before. No pills, no low carb, none of that. Just simple tracking and exercise and allowing myself treats here and there.
Feel free to friend me if you'd like! Would love to help support you!0 -
I could not agree with this more. Keep up the good work. It is hard being a working mom with little kiddos trying to loose weight but YOU CAN DO IT!!!Judge? What's to judge? You are well on your way to a healthier lifestyle! Congrats on taking the first steps on that journey, and congrats on the baby!
You are already doing so well! Keep at it, and you'll be the envy of all your friends in the end. Not to mention, the happy, healthy mother to your kid(s)! :flowerforyou:
I agree!!! 0 -
I feel your pain. I've been the biggest one of my friends ALWAYS. And I don't want to be anymore.
You have the right attitude. Do it in a healthy way, a real life change that's doable, not in a crazy starving exercise every minute way. Don't feel guilty about time spent on yourself. Making yourself healthy is also for your kid(s). You can give them just that much more and be there for them longer.
Sometimes I think it's worse when you AREN'T the largest person; my sisters all have weight issues, and I'm right in the middle of the 5 of us, weight-wise. Being around my sisters, and their bad habits makes it "okay" for me to do the same. And if you aren't the biggest..you can say...at least I'm not as big as so and so.
Do this...make it about YOU, nobody else, no matter if it's your family or your friends. What do YOU want? How do YOU want to feel and look?0 -
Girl, I totally understand! It's even hard for me to look at pictures and see how big I am compared to my buddies. It's uncomofortable and awkward. Granted, my friends never made me feel this way, I still do. You totally have my support and I know that unless you've been there, you wouldn't understand. So please feel free to add me. I'm brand new to MFP and I'd love to give/recieve any and all kind of support. Keep up what you're doing! It'll show in time. Baby steps
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I'm in the same boat, withou the kids. I've been overweight for all of my adult life and I continue to struggle. I am happy to support another person in the good fight. I've vowed to be healthier, to do it slowly and safely. It's easier with friends who understand.0
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Working and raising kids is hard work, and throw dieting in there and goodness, it's a lot on a plate! This has been a great support system for me already, add me if you like No one judges here and this is why I love it! I'm not just the fat girl here, I'm the fat girl trying to make healthy changes 0
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YOU CAN DO IT!!!!! ONE DAY AT A TIME YOU'VE ALREADY DONE HARDEST PART AND ADMITTING IT..... WERE ALL HERE TO SUPPORT YOU!!!!!! YOUR AWESOME AND WILL KICK THIS IN BUTT..........0
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I agree with another person who replied-NOTHING TO JUDGE!!!!!!!!!!!!! You're here. You're trying. You're obviously headed in the right direction by trying to do the right thing. That's what this site is for-support, tips, etc.
I personally have fluctuated weight since I signed up for the website. I was not the most regular member-I'd go days, sometimes 2 weeks before signing back on. It was because of getting down. It would seem like everything I tried didn't work. I'm like you-I have 70 lbs that I need to lose to get where I want to be. A daunting number. But, since I resumed using MFP, I'm working on my diet first, then my activity level (one step a time, right?), and it's helping. I've heard so much that following a Mediterranean diet is good, like Greek, Italian (NOT Olive Garden Italian though), Spanish food. So I have one of each: a Greek, Italian, and a Spanish cookbook. (Amazon baby!) It's not a diet in the way that Weight Watchers is. It's just trying to make better choices. I'm finding it helpful because it is giving me new ideas for things like cooking veggies, so I don't get bored eating salads all the time. Also, I'm trying to make it a habit of not going for bakery type goodies, which is a soft spot of mine. I get sweet, but a healthier sweet. It's slower going, but since I've weighed myself, I'm down about 2lbs.
I don't know if all this is really related, but maybe it helps. We're together in this!0 -
I'm right there with you... so I can totally relate and would never judge. I'm also trying to lose another 100 lbs. before I get pregnant and even then I'll still technically be "overweight" which really makes me mad AT MYSELF. Feel free to add me as a friend if you wnat some support.0
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Please feel free to add me as a friend. I've been on this journey now since March and have lost about 30lbs. It goes up and down since I'm working out 6 days a week but they say muscle is much better than fat......so as long as my clothes are fitting loose, I figure I'm doing something right.
It does help when you have friends who are battling the same struggles as you are. I love this site for the most part as you can get a lot of support from others.
Congradulation on making the decision to get healthy. Would love to encourage you on your journey. ; )
Linda0 -
I will judge you on the facts: You are a STRONG women - my gosh you lost weight while pregnant because you knew it was the best for you and the baby. You are courageous - You have decided on a goal and you are obviously courageous enough to make it. Your post was transparent, truthful and I thought beautiful. I'm rooting for you, though I know you can do this anyway.
Bless you!!!!0 -
im in the same boat with you. I have just as much to lose as you. Feel free to add me and we can support eachother!0
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Stop feeling sorry for yourself. Your whole post screams PLEASE DONT HATE ME
No one does. You seem to dislike yourself though so get over that.
You have made great strides already and yeah it can be hard. I am a single father of two kids, with no family support and work 60 hours a week and yes I know it can be hard. Turn your excuses into reasons to do it. You have a child so its difficult...Becomes you have a child so you owe it to them to be around when they are 10, 20, 30, 40...And if you have as much faith in yourself as the people on here clearly do you will do it no problem.
Start realising how well you have done already, stop thinking everyone is judging you negatively and get on with it
Good luck.0 -
I have so much weight to lose, but I've started. You have made great strides already! Be proud! And, friend me if you like. We can all use the positive support!0
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I am in the same boat!! I want to have another baby but not be high risk like I was with my first pregnancy!! You can do it!0
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I am in the same boat! I gained about 40 pounds during my pregnancy. My BMI says I am obese, and while I admit that I'm larger than I have ever been in my life (ever.), i have never considered myself "obese". My son is 10 months old as of tomorrow, and while I lost about 30 pounds of the weight I gained (and half of that was from the baby), I still have a long way to go... about 60 pounds until I meet my goal weight. I was a full time grad student and my boyfriend was the only one who worked so money was tight and time was even tighter. My sisters are all lean and in shape, they show off their six packs while I look at my stretch marks. Depressing. I'm learning, albeit painfully slowly, that cosmetic reasons for weight loss only get me so far. The goal is to be healthy. My insurance didn't cover the NSTs i had... and I had one every week for several weeks while pregnant. Looking back, if I was in better shape I wouldn't have needed them and would have saved a LOT of money in the long run (considering both my son and I were perfectly healthy, my BMI was just high). So before I have my next I plan on being healthier. I know the cosmetic changes will come naturally, but the goal is health and feeling good.0
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Hang in there and take one day at a time.0
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been there.....now there again. Was 60 lbs lighter for years but then started having children and the weight has just stayed on. Would like to offer you support and work on this together. Friend me if you wish0
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I know I don't know you but my heart hurts reading your post. When my husband and I first started dating I was in the 150-160 range (I'm 5'3"). It got really hard to get on the scale after the birth of my first daughter. I never managed to lose all the weight before I got pregnant with my second. I had my second girl in April of 2011, I left the hospital weighing 202. About a month later my husband's work started a 8 week weightloss challenge I was down to 197. I was so upset with the way I looked it made me uncomftable to go out with my friends. I had the same reaction the first time I saw the obese label, I didn't see myself that way in my head. I wanted to cry when I saw that - it really does feel unbelievable to see that attached to your name.
Over the past year I have managed to lose 53 pounds. I have to keep reminding myself it's not going to come off overnight because I didn't gain it overnight. Just make sure you are eating the correct calories you need to lose, and not less. I've been working with my local doctor and she taught me that I wasn't eating enough. I know it sounds weird to eat more, but I found I did lose more when I ate correctly. I've been using the diabetic meal plan (I'm not diabetic). I don't see it as a diet but a lifestyle change because you can still eat the same foods just in a different way. If you aren't maybe you could work with your family doctor or dietician to help you - the support you get from them is great! I have monthly weigh-ins and that helps keep me on track without have the prying eyes of the group weightloss meetings. I am now 11 pounds from my goal weight of 135! I would never have thought I would have gotten to this point a year ago. Maybe keep a note somewhere or a daily reminder on your phone to give yourself some motivation to keep going - to remember YOU ARE WORTH IT!0 -
CONGRATS on the baby and the weight loss, you are doing great. I would advise to just concentrate on 10 lbs at a time. It is easier and not so overwhelming. Give yourself a reward for every 10 lbs. When I first started 100 lbs seemed impossible and overwhelming so I just concentrated on 10 lbs at a time and bought myself a new pair of earrings for every 10 lbs I lost. You can do it, just hang in there0
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I also know how you feel. All of my friends are much smaller than I am and I love them but sometimes they say hurtful things without realizing it. Like when they talk about how big their butt is when I am standing next to them weighing 100 lbs more. I don't think they realize how that makes me feel. I always thought that if I was going to have my own blog I would call it "The Elephant in the Room". Because that is how I feel sometimes when I am constantly the biggest one in the room. Always being aware of my size. Should I let people see me eat? Can I fit into that booth? Oh no, I have to have somebody push their chair in so I can get around them. There are no chairs to sit in and everyone is sitting on the floor and I don't want people to see me trying to get up. There are so many things that I can go on about. I am working on my weight and to some degree I am thankful for the lessons I have learned being fat. My heart breaks for people who are struggling with a major weight problem. I know it is way more than they are just eating too much. I see someone who is hurting. The mind and heart really need to be healed to truly make a healthy whole person.0
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