Depression

I'm looking for help....

I've been on this site for quite while now and was doing an excellent job (down 25#!!). I cut back on my alcohol consumption and felt GREAT! I was working out 5-7 times a week erither in my basement or at the gym. Then life got in the way. Summer is always the busiest time of year for us as three of my four kids play softball/baseball. We are running constantly. I have no time to prepare healthy meals for us as we are sometimes gone 10-12 hours a day. My husband is so busy as he coaches my girls team as well as goes to school and working 40-60 hours per week. Summer is fantastic but busy! In the past it wasn't a problem fo rme to do the juggling act. I thrived on being able to handle everything...well.

Well this year is completely different. I've run into some other issues I am dealing with as well. Without going into too much detail (I talked about it in my last blog) I am having some pretty major issues with my oldest daughter. We are both in counseling but this situation has turned my world upside down. I don't know whether I'm coming or going anymore. My depression is creeping back and I started packing on the weight again. I've gained 8 pounds of the 25 I lost. That makes the depression worse so I've been drinking more. Which makes me gain more weight. Its a vicious cycle.

Also, I've been dealing with some pretty major back problems as well. It comes and goes but it hasn't really "gone" in a while. Exercise is tricky for me with these problems. And recently my knees have been hurting (I'm only 41 - UGH!)

So I'm not really sure where to go from here. How do I overcome my depression and find my motivation again? Any advise/suggestions would be greatly appreciated!!

Replies

  • philOHIO
    philOHIO Posts: 520 Member
    Remember who your friends are and that we are always here for you! :)
  • Flab2fitfi
    Flab2fitfi Posts: 1,349 Member
    Take each day at a time and set yourself little goals. When you do have a bad day just chalk it up and remember that tomorrow is another day and a fresh start.

    Dont beat yourself up - I know it can be hard but realise that you are human and sometimes you cant be everything all the time. You have put on some of the weight but you know you can also take it off again and by the sounds of it you have had other things to concentrate on.

    I have had depression and know that sometimes i can be my own worst enemy but now i just look at the positive things I have done - even if it just taken a short walk or spent time with the kids.
  • Carrot1971
    Carrot1971 Posts: 272 Member
    I have had depression and know that sometimes i can be my own worst enemy...

    ^^EXACTLY!!^^
  • caraiselite
    caraiselite Posts: 2,631 Member
    low carb helps with my depression. (also anxiety and insomnia) might be worth looking into!
  • jackandnikki
    jackandnikki Posts: 3 Member
    Depression is a major mood to feel, I think if it grabs you to the point where you can't function properly you need to talk to someone. It does help. I would try doing the exercise, mood thing as a combo an example would be yoga. It is a difficult workout but once your there you can really zone out and do it in a class setting away from family, friends ( because they know your bagggage and you don't want it in your face) and of course the stress. Good Luck and take care what is horrible today will fade . PROMISE.:wink:
  • lori__lynn
    lori__lynn Posts: 59
    i'm suffering from severe depression after losing my mom in may. i do nothing but eat to make up for my loss. doesn't make sense....and all i've been doing is gaining weight, which makes me more depressed. :(

    i'm sorry you are going through this. you are not alone.
  • kathyms13
    kathyms13 Posts: 497 Member
    I have had depression and know that sometimes i can be my own worst enemy...

    ^^EXACTLY!!^^

    i totaly agree, i have depression and ocd and find its hard. the ocd means i need to stay in control cutting my calls low to win the game. if the depression kicks in its like your in a dark whole and you just cant get out. i didnt read it but have you spoke to your doctor. maybe thats were you need help, im on tablets but i uped them a couple of weeks ago, they normally keep me saneish. good luck.
  • ewhitehurst1
    ewhitehurst1 Posts: 178
    If I don't work out I get more depressed. You have to find time for yourself.
  • sl1ngsh0t
    sl1ngsh0t Posts: 326 Member
    I have a teenager. I can empathize! I also have depression. I just keep exercising. Really. It helps so much.

    When I can't for a few days because I get too sad, I just get back up and keep going. I honestly feel exercising regularly has saved me from having a nervous breakdown on more than one occasion! :)
  • i'm 17, and I suffer from depression. and the only thing that seems to help me is sleeping. but lately I havent been getting that lately, but I am here to help you. I know what its like that your thoughts torture you, and you seem like there is no way out of it. I hate that feeling, I have tunnel vision (my depression has it so bad that I don't look forward for tomorrow) But I'm here for you to vent, cry, scream anything. I'm here.
  • rides4sanity
    rides4sanity Posts: 1,269 Member
    For me it is a constant struggle to choose myself. Life is buy and everybody needs you, but you need to be there for them, not just there. Everybody has different ways of coping, for me I need my cardio. I like to lift and take classes, but if I don't get at least 45 minutes of intense cardio every few days I start slipping into the darkness. Luckily, my husband is uber supportive and often notices before I do and calls me out on it (nicely), and provides me with a chance to go exercise (takes away the excuses I'm making). That being said, once I'm off kilter, it is very hard to get the motivation back. I have to force myself to be active and replace my negative cycles with a proven positive cycle. It stinks, but you need to have a "recovery plan" and recognize what triggers your downs. Alcohol is one thing that throws me off, so I mostly abstain. When I slide I have a plan to get back, get rid of the trigger & do my 45 minutes every other day for a week, whether I want to or not. By the end of the week, I'm usually good to go. Best of luck!
  • Hello,

    I too suffer from depression and when i'm feeling down i find it so hard to feel motivated to try and lose weight, i use eating as a way of self harm and control and have now had these habits for years! When i'm bored i eat and when i want to distract myself from feeling down, i eat and manage to make myself feel even worse.

    I'm just new to the site and i'm finding it really difficult to lose anything, however I am being really honest about what I am eating and seeing how many calories i'm putting in to my body is helping me to become more aware and in control. That in itself is helping me when i'm feeling down.

    Talking really helps me and exercise really helps when I feel motivated to do it but part of my problem is getting motivated. I can understand if your back is sore exercise will be an issue, what a nightmare when you've done so well to get all that weight off!! I really hope you can get back on track, you've done so well and you could ease the pressure by maybe focussing on just not putting on any weight and maybe if like me you eat when you are feeling low you could try listening to a hypnotherapy cd or going swimming or to sauna.

    I recently tried hypnotherapy and it has really really helped my moods and issues I have with feeling low even though the hypnotherapy was for weightloss (we're still working on that bit), my problems are deep and these sessions have really helped me focus my mind, calm down and see things differently, i'm still attending so watch this space for some results. Another thing I have realised and i have attributed this to my heightened self awareness because of the hypnotherapy is realising that i'm in control, the only person stopping me from losing weight is me and i can change but it's going to be a long haul.

    Good luck
  • Hey,

    just wanted to say sorry about your mom! I went to a hypnotherapist/counsellor and she thought that I eat to fill a void, really made sense to me and hit home that thats what i do, still seeking help xx
  • themommie
    themommie Posts: 5,033 Member
    I know when I get like this and i feel like the world is closing in I just want to hibernate and be left alone, do nothing. You need to make time for yourself. Set small goals that are achievable. Maybe you can walk while your kids are playing softball. Walking seems to clear my head unless I am walking with my kids.LOL. also maybe you can bring sandwiches and fruit with you to the games. If not try to stop and get good choices, like subway, taco bell chicken soft tacos fresco style, wendys salads, etc. Good Luck, Hang in there.....(((HUGS))). Remember this too shall pass
  • MFPLynne
    MFPLynne Posts: 39 Member
    Ugh. I have been there...am there. Life is hard and it is even harder when you have depression. I think acknowledging where you are and your struggles is a great positive step. Keep on keeping on. Also, talk with your doctor or therapist if you have not already.

    Pausing for deep breathes can do wonders too.
  • i agree w/lots of the above. i'm bi-polar and have lots of other "issues".....the biggest thing that has really helped me conquer some of the negative aspects of depression is taking a pre-natal vitamin(along w/exercise and big time change in food). i checked w/my doc and she okayed taking it even though i'm not pregnant as it supplies you w/tons of the vits needed throughout the day. if i don't take it every day, i feel it! also, you have to make sure you take time for yourself, even if it's just a 15 min walk, or resting or doing something you truly enjoy in your "off" time. i'm really busy too but i've found that even in a 15-30 min window alot can be accomplished and will make a difference in the long run. don't allow you to get you down because it's so easy. there's TONS of support here on mfp so take advantage of that and know that things will always get better, no matter how sh*tty it is right now :)
  • lorazaruba
    lorazaruba Posts: 61 Member
    So sorry to ear that life is throwing you a curveball!
    You may need to go to a doctor and get some medicine! Why suffer if you don't need too! It may help you also deal with your children.
    You MUST stop drinking!!! You do not want your children to think that is the way to solve problems!!
    You need to make time for you!!! If the kids are at pratice, you need to be walking too.
    Take it one day at a time, tomorrow can and will be better!
    Just a few thoughts!
    {{HUGS}}
  • anorangie
    anorangie Posts: 975 Member
    I'm looking for help....

    I've been on this site for quite while now and was doing an excellent job (down 25#!!). I cut back on my alcohol consumption and felt GREAT! I was working out 5-7 times a week erither in my basement or at the gym. Then life got in the way. Summer is always the busiest time of year for us as three of my four kids play softball/baseball. We are running constantly. I have no time to prepare healthy meals for us as we are sometimes gone 10-12 hours a day. My husband is so busy as he coaches my girls team as well as goes to school and working 40-60 hours per week. Summer is fantastic but busy! In the past it wasn't a problem fo rme to do the juggling act. I thrived on being able to handle everything...well.

    Well this year is completely different. I've run into some other issues I am dealing with as well. Without going into too much detail (I talked about it in my last blog) I am having some pretty major issues with my oldest daughter. We are both in counseling but this situation has turned my world upside down. I don't know whether I'm coming or going anymore. My depression is creeping back and I started packing on the weight again. I've gained 8 pounds of the 25 I lost. That makes the depression worse so I've been drinking more. Which makes me gain more weight. Its a vicious cycle.

    Also, I've been dealing with some pretty major back problems as well. It comes and goes but it hasn't really "gone" in a while. Exercise is tricky for me with these problems. And recently my knees have been hurting (I'm only 41 - UGH!)

    So I'm not really sure where to go from here. How do I overcome my depression and find my motivation again? Any advise/suggestions would be greatly appreciated!!

    Here are a few things that came to mind as I read your post. I'm in recovery from depression, and I know how hard the recovery process can be. If these thoughts don't resonate with you, just disregard them. :)

    1. Is there a way to make some simple but nutritious meal bags on the weekend or when you have a little extra time so that they are ready whenever you and your family are on the go?

    2. If you can refrain from or limit alcohol, you may be better able to cope with your depression. (Alcohol, as you say, adds to the cycle.)

    3. Can you carve out a few minutes (5-10) a few times a day to close your eyes and focus on deep breathing?

    4. Are you getting 7-9 hours of sleep every night...or whatever your body truly needs? (Sleep deprivation makes EVERYTHING harder.)

    5. I'm hesitant to suggest this because I know there may be push-back, but would you find it helpful to modify or reduce some of your family's activities temporarily so that you may focus on your health, recovering from depression, and your relationship with your daughter? (I know with depression, everything seems harder--can you do what's most important to your mental and physical well-being first?)

    6. If you are not opposed to antidepressants, you may consider talking to your doctor to see if she has a recommendation for you.

    Hope you feel better real soon...
  • Carrot1971
    Carrot1971 Posts: 272 Member
    Thank you everyone for your kind words and sound advise. For the record, I am not opposed to anti-depressents. However, the last time I was on them I ballooned up and gained 30 pounds. I know there are ones out there that won't make me do that but I honestly didn't like the way I felt when I was on them.

    Things with my daughter are awful right now. We had a therapy appt. last night and it ended badly. But I stayed strong and resound. My therapist was proud of me...small steps.

    As for curbing my kids activites. Thats a hard one. They play one sport per season. I hate to take that away from them. Its not fair to them I had so many kids...lol. July is hard for us...but I will get through it.

    Yes, I should start to make healthy meals in my downtime. Unfortunately my downtime typically isn't until later at night so I have the option of doing that or going to bed. I chose bed. lol.

    Today is another day and I am here to deal with it. I will concentrate on one day at a time and pretty soon my disaster will be in the past. I've been swimming for my exercise so it doesn't hurt my back. Plus its something I do with the kids.

    Thanks everyone!!
  • ScubaAmyMN
    ScubaAmyMN Posts: 1,701 Member
    Bump. Lots of good ideas in this thread.