I can't help judging fat people

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scooterist
scooterist Posts: 17
in Motivation and Support
Howdy folks,

I wanted to offer a brief explanation for the locking of this thread.

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At our discretion, this locked thread may be deleted entirely in the near future.


With respect,
Joshua
MyFitnessPal Forum Staff
«1345

Replies

  • Laurie1267
    Laurie1267 Posts: 169 Member
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    It's very hard for me to write this and I'm choosing my words very carefully. Because of previously being a morbidly obese person myself and going through the 18-month process of having gastric bypass surgery four years ago, I judge no person for any reason. It's just not my place. Thankfully, you keep your feelings to yourself! Everyone comes to terms with who they are (either accepting and loving themselves or resolving to make a change). Glad you feel guilty as you should.

    To all the folks on these posts trying to lose any amount of weight - good for you! This is supposed to be a site that encourages and motivates people in their journey to a healthier way of life. I hope you haven't affected one person on this site with your harsh thoughts. Let's all try to be very positive on MFP :flowerforyou:
  • runfatmanrun
    runfatmanrun Posts: 1,090 Member
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    Dude, prepare yourself for the flame spray of offended. You crossed the "you hurt my feelings line" of someone I am sure. Good luck to you.
  • Pedal_Pusher
    Pedal_Pusher Posts: 1,166 Member
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    Don't be a diick.
  • Il_DaniD_lI
    Il_DaniD_lI Posts: 1,593 Member
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    I think making this post was rude. Judge them in your head if you must, but why announce it to everyone?? What is the point of this post?
  • Dorkaleena
    Dorkaleena Posts: 59
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    I find it interesting that you've become more judgmental of people that are much like you were before you started on your path to being healthier and thinner. Perhaps it's more because it makes you uncomfortable to see others in that shape because you can't deal with how you felt about yourself when you were there... maybe you just have a cruel streak in your basic personality. I just hope you are able to remain silent when you run into those people. Saying something about how you feel could do a LOT of damage.
  • merzback
    merzback Posts: 453 Member
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    no offense but you should feel guilty for judging. I don't understand why you feel so superior when you have no idea of people's challenges.
  • trkinsley
    trkinsley Posts: 124 Member
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    I think it's pretty common for people that "quit" a behavior--whether it's smoking, overeating, or drinking/drugging--to have mixed feelings of superiority/disgust toward the poor suckers who are where they used to be.

    It says something about you, really. It's fine, it's common, and I think you deserve kudos for admitting it.... but that doesn't make it right or good to continue to allow that to rule you. Dorkaleena has some very good points. Maybe you should try and become friends with someone that repulses you--they might be able to help you get over your issues, and you might be able to help them get healthier.
  • taunto
    taunto Posts: 6,420 Member
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    "Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle." -Plato
  • ElizabethRoad
    ElizabethRoad Posts: 5,138 Member
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    if I see morbidly obese people I feel like going up to them and saying 'hey, I've lost five stone so far this year - you could do it too'
    What do you mean by "judging"? Do you mean you think they are lazy or stupid for not losing weight? If by "judging", you mean the quote above, that's not a bad thing to think. Obviously you wouldn't do it, but it's a normal impulse to want to share something that helped you.
  • Brandicaloriecountess
    Brandicaloriecountess Posts: 2,126 Member
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    Why not just understand where "they" are coming from having been there yourself?
    Yes, I wish more people know that it isn't truly that hard, and it is FUN to get in shape.
    But I just think back to when I felt like a fat, worthless cow myself, with NO HOPE and then it's actually pretty easy NOT to judge others. I made changes for myself, but I failed at making changes MANY times before I actually got it right.
  • FITBY30
    FITBY30 Posts: 39 Member
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    hmmm. well freedom of speech is a beautiful thing, but im sure some people will be offended, which i dont think was your intention. while i dont feel i judge people for being fat- i do understand that feeling of looking at people and thinking," why are they doing to themselves dont they know how bad it is for them, dont they wanna be healthy, dont they wanna live etc. etc.". i think maybe now that you have gotten yourself on track to a new body and healthy life style instead of maybe, "looking down" would be a better word than judging, you could find a way to motivate people to make the same changes. i am vegan and although im not a "preachy vegan" and dont try to convert those around me-i do often look at people, even those i love and think, "dont you know better by now, why do keep putting that garbage in you r mouth?" so i get it, i think wen people get really into something and believe in it- and especially if it makes you feel better about yourself- you start to feel like everyone should do it...why arent they??? but like i said, try to find a way to help those who you feel are in need of seeing the light instead of sounding judgmental.
  • sktllmdrhmz
    sktllmdrhmz Posts: 2,073 Member
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    I feel your pain, OP. You want to help them. You feel like you've had a great revelation and you want to pass it along, but you can't without hurting feelings. Even mentioning that you feel like this has complete strangers, not even the people you'd like to tell, with their panties in a bunch.

    Why might you feel superior? Well, easy. You've surpassed them, at least physically. Now you wonder what it is about them that keeps them from seeing the light.

    So let's just let these good people here who are without sin cast that first stone toward you.
  • TexanThom
    TexanThom Posts: 778
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    Op might have lost weight, but he did not lose his a$$holeness.

    You Pikey...
  • kayleesays
    kayleesays Posts: 564 Member
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    Everybody's gonna be a jerk, but I too am in the same boat. I don't think they're bad people or anything even remotely close to that, I just have taken this step towards losing weight and I see that they have no interest in doing the same. It makes me kind of sad, actually.
  • MaraDiaz
    MaraDiaz Posts: 4,604 Member
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    I think it's a different kind of judging than one that just writes fat people off as inhuman. You've been there, you know what it takes to lose weight, and your 'judging' sounds more like a desire to help and motivate people.

    If you're not well established in a career you like, maybe you'd make a good nutritionist or fitness trainer? Then you can get paid to help people all day.
  • infamousmk
    infamousmk Posts: 6,033 Member
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    Judging is normal and natural. It's part of what keeps the human race alive and fighting. However, we're trying to have a civilization here, and it's best to keep these judgements to yourself. They do no good for you or anyone else.


    It's fine that you have found motivation in seeing someone struggling where you once were. Honestly, I oftentimes thank my stars I'm not in the same place as I used to be when I see someone there... but I don't say a word to them, and I certainly don't broadcast those thoughts on the internet. Because that's rude.
  • catshark209
    catshark209 Posts: 1,133 Member
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    I don't. They can't help being that way most times. Whether from medication or injuries which prevent one from being active, I never ever judge.

    I'm sure they have enough issues themselves and I can say I have never looked at an overweight person with disgust.

    I've never been overweight nor had an issue with weight gain, but I have been the butt of jokes because of my thin-ness and I know how sh itty it feels to be judged by how one looks/weighs.
    This thread is not going to end well.
  • KLovesTy
    KLovesTy Posts: 37
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    while I can understand, its still sad. we are all struggling with something in our life. its a constant journey.

    best of luck.
  • mcrowe1016
    mcrowe1016 Posts: 647 Member
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    It's very hard for me to write this and I'm choosing my words very carefully. Because of previously being a morbidly obese person myself and going through the 18-month process of having gastric bypass surgery four years ago, I judge no person for any reason. It's just not my place. Thankfully, you keep your feelings to yourself! Everyone comes to terms with who they are (either accepting and loving themselves or resolving to make a change). Glad you feel guilty as you should.

    To all the folks on these posts trying to lose any amount of weight - good for you! This is supposed to be a site that encourages and motivates people in their journey to a healthier way of life. I hope you haven't affected one person on this site with your harsh thoughts. Let's all try to be very positive on MFP :flowerforyou:

    You are lying if you saythat you NEVER judge. Don't be a hypocrite
  • KateCon912
    KateCon912 Posts: 200 Member
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    I think everyone judges people in their heads whether or not they want to admit it.
This discussion has been closed.

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