I can't help judging fat people
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This is so me, because they represent that part of myself I detest and fear.
Through my support network here on MFP, I have learned to get past that.
They're just people who are losing life's struggle.
I pity them.
As for me, NEVER AGAIN!
I am fit for life, and maybe I can help others along their path while continuing to enjoy the support of those who help me here.
Judge NOT!
All Is Possible!0 -
There is a reason (or a lot of reasons) why you lost weight. You recognized that being fat was not ideal and you took the necessary steps to change it.
Should you spit on fat people and hate them and consider them subhuman? OF COURSE NOT.
Is it ok to want them to live the best lives they can and wonder why they haven't decided to do better for themselves? Sure is.
I judge all kinds of people. I judge people who speed, who yell at their kids, who smoke, and fat people... I'm pretty sure I have some behaviours that all those people would judge me for. As long as you aren't being an asshat about it, and you treat everyone with basic human respect, who cares.0 -
Recently I've been worrying that I am judging people for being overweight, but what I've realized is that it's not judging. It's more of feeling bad for them, because I know how miserable I felt being as big as I was. And now I feel so much better, and I know that if they could only see how simple (not easy, but simple) it is to lose weight, they could feel better too. Don't be so hard on yourself, losing weight is as much mental as it is physical-- and lots of confusing thoughts and minds come up along the way.0
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Judging other people for the way they live isn't right at all cause it's THEIR choice and not YOURS. I think you judge them because you once hated yourself for being overweight. Remember when you judge someone you were once that person too.0
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I feel your pain, OP. You want to help them. You feel like you've had a great revelation and you want to pass it along, but you can't without hurting feelings. Even mentioning that you feel like this has complete strangers, not even the people you'd like to tell, with their panties in a bunch.
Why might you feel superior? Well, easy. You've surpassed them, at least physically. Now you wonder what it is about them that keeps them from seeing the light.
So let's just let these good people here who are without sin cast that first stone toward you.
That's kind of what I got out of it too. I don't think that the OP is saying "I'm so great, and well fatty, you are so not" I think he was trying to say something to the effect of "I did it and it was easier than I thought, I can help you too" BUT... Everyone of us had our "light bulb" moment... It's my silent hope that each and every person out there that is out of shape, out of breath and feels out of hope will have their moment before it's too late. :flowerforyou:0 -
While I agree judging is bad and all that, I feel positive that every single person that has responded has probably judged someone in their life in SOME way, even if they kept it to themselves...if you haven't then truly good for you that's awesome and we should all try to be like that. :flowerforyou:
Actually, we're all judging the OP. (Just to make your point... lol)0 -
I don't know if it is just as bad or worse but every time I see a morbidly obese or simply obese person, I can't help but feeling sympathy for them. My boyfriend has friends who are younger than I am and they overeat, smoke and excessively drink. At 30, they already have high blood pressure and a history of heart disease which claimed their parents at the age of 40.
It's just so sad.
Still I will never go up to them and give them unsolicited advice.0 -
Not sure if you posted that to get a rise out of people or if you did it because you really feel that way. But, all people struggle in different ways and some people really do try hard and it isn't as easy for some people as it is for others. I'm glad that you have been successful in your progress but I am not going to judge people who are not there.0
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I don't. They can't help being that way most times. Whether from medication or injuries which prevent one from being active, I never ever judge.
I am going to correct that sentence. They can't help being that way some times.0 -
He had an opinion that some of you disagree with, get over it0
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What do you mean by "judging"? Do you mean you think they are lazy or stupid for not losing weight? If by "judging", you mean the quote above, that's not a bad thing to think. Obviously you wouldn't do it, but it's a normal impulse to want to share something that helped you.if I see morbidly obese people I feel like going up to them and saying 'hey, I've lost five stone so far this year - you could do it too'
Judge action, not intent or character. Maybe the person has lost 5 stone as well. Maybe their mother or their child died two years ago and they are too numb with grief to think of their health. Maybe they are set in their ways, know they should change, but chose not to because of the work and the commitment involved. Seeing it from this side of some weight loss certainly gives you perspective, and yes, I've wanted to offer help in the grocery store before, but it's not my place to empty their shopping carts. I would encourage a lot of people I know to join MFP if I knew they were trying to lose weight. However, most simply want to complain about their weight rather than do anything about it. And I was in that place not too long ago, myself.0 -
It makes me nauseated seeing super morbidly obese people like I would guess 500-700 lbs. but I would never say anything plus I get grossed out easily. I still feel bad for obese people I do. It's heartbreaking that even on my worst days I never let myself go like that but food can be an addiction just like drugs and alcohol.
We all have our issues. You know what I judge more? Those trampy little girls who are like 13 dressing like sluts walking around town and getting impregnated. If you wanna judge someone, judge THEM. They are filthy and dirty.0 -
While I agree judging is bad and all that, I feel positive that every single person that has responded has probably judged someone in their life in SOME way, even if they kept it to themselves...if you haven't then truly good for you that's awesome and we should all try to be like that. :flowerforyou:
Actually, we're all judging the OP. (Just to make your point... lol)
haha touche!0 -
I am not offended by this and don't think you should feel guilty. After fighting to get past hurdles and make progress, it is natural to look at people who have yet to make those changes or find a way up that hill with different eyes. I have a long way to go to my goal weight, but I already see my own choices differently and can imagine that easily tranferring to other people I see struggling with their weight. Part of it may be wanting to help them, since you have already been through a lot of it, and part of it may be simply having a stronger understanding of what it took to get past the point they are currently at.
Isn't it a bit ironic that some people are telling you to keep your thoughts to yourself and even calling you names...because they deem YOU judgmental?0 -
This is so me, because they represent that part of myself I detest and fear.
Through my support network here on MFP, I have learned to get past that.
They're just people who are losing life's struggle.
I pity them.
As for me, NEVER AGAIN!
I am fit for life, and maybe I can help others along their path while continuing to enjoy the support of those who help me here.
All Is Possible!
I completly agree with this. I see what I could have become or was.0 -
I don't. They can't help being that way most times. Whether from medication or injuries which prevent one from being active, I never ever judge.
I am going to correct that sentance. They can't help being that way some times.
Sentence, not "sentance". I apologize for my oh so incorrect grammar.....oh lordy lordy what a sin!0 -
I do this too...and feel so terrible.. I don't want to/ like to judge any one. It isn't fair, I don't know their story.. I don't know if they have already lost a ton of weight.. so I wouldn't say anything ever to them. We are all human and it happens.. I just try to realize what I'm doing and tell myself to stop. It isn't fair to judge any one.0
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Seriously...judging is going to happen. Whether or not you open your mouth about it or post something about is entirely where the issue is0
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And what I can so easily become again.This is so me, because they represent that part of myself I detest and fear.
Through my support network here on MFP, I have learned to get past that.
They're just people who are losing life's struggle.
I pity them.
As for me, NEVER AGAIN!
I am fit for life, and maybe I can help others along their path while continuing to enjoy the support of those who help me here.
Judge NOT!
All Is Possible!
I completly agree with this. I see what I could have become or was.
Anyway, ex-smokers and reformed alcoholics are like this as well.
Fanaticism is the brother of doubt!0 -
I wonder if someone saw me getting on a bus they would think the same thing. Even though I have changed my diet, and I exercise every single day of my life, I still get out of breath when I walk (especially if there is a hill). You SHOULDN'T even have posted this. This is the kind of thing that someone might see and just give up. Especially someone like me who has over 100lbs to go!! This post isn't motivational or supportive.0
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It's very hard for me to write this and I'm choosing my words very carefully. Because of previously being a morbidly obese person myself and going through the 18-month process of having gastric bypass surgery four years ago, I judge no person for any reason. It's just not my place. Thankfully, you keep your feelings to yourself! Everyone comes to terms with who they are (either accepting and loving themselves or resolving to make a change). Glad you feel guilty as you should.
To all the folks on these posts trying to lose any amount of weight - good for you! This is supposed to be a site that encourages and motivates people in their journey to a healthier way of life. I hope you haven't affected one person on this site with your harsh thoughts. Let's all try to be very positive on MFP :flowerforyou:
You are lying if you saythat you NEVER judge. Don't be a hypocrite
Some people have learned to replace judgement with compassion . . . and don't lie about it.0 -
I don't think I prejudge people for their weight, at least I try not too, but I do have an immense amount of compassion for their situation. I also wish that I could help.0
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You definitely shouldn't feel guilty, OP. People here are going to be self-righteous on the internet, even though they will do the same thing as you, subconsciously or not. I'm guilty of it myself, though more often than not I see someone as big as I was when I started and it's not that I judge them, I just feel bad. I wish I could shake them and tell them there was a way out and that if I could do it, anyone can. I don't do that, because I know everyone needs to find their own motivation for losing weight, but sometimes its hard as hell not to.0
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We all have our issues. You know what I judge more? Those trampy little girls who are like 13 dressing like sluts walking around town and getting impregnated. If you wanna judge someone, judge THEM. They are filthy and dirty.
You are a GEM.0 -
Bite me0
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Well judge me all you want ****. Just don't do it publicly. Congrats on "your" loss but think about how you would have felt if someone walked up to you and said that bullsh*t to you. Jerk0
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I don't feel superior, far from it. There but for the grace of God and all that...
As I said above it shocks me to feel this way and of course I would never communicate such thoughts out loud. What it does do though is make me realise how I must have looked to people for all those years when I was kidding myself there was nothing wrong.
My post certainly wasn't intended to be offensive, just honest, and it wasnt intended to demotivate anybody. Quite the opposite, people (obviously awful people like me) do judge wether we like it or not - I'm not going to let them look at me in that way again.
Good for you! Seriously. There is no sarcasm there. Looking at someone in the same situation you were in and being able to use it to keep yourself motivated is a great tool. I think your word choice may have been poor is all. *Shuts up now*0 -
When I see an overly obese person I'm not repulsed the way you seem to be. Rather, I feel sad for them; I wish they could live a healthier lifestyle so that life itself is easier: so that they aren't judged by others the way you are judging them, so that they can perform daily life activities like chasing their grandchildren or walking up a flight of stairs without feeling winded, so that they do not develop diseases associated with overweight like Type II Diabetes and hypertension.
I'm going to be a doctor one day soon and I hope to encourage and inspire my unfit patients--no matter their size--to develop healthy lifestyles.
All that being said, at least your'e being honest about your feelings. I saw a recent survey that said something like 50% or 2/3 or women would rather be hit by a car than "fat." I think it's sad that, as our society gets ever larger because of sedentary lifestyles and cheap, poor food choices, it at the same time becomes so much harsher and more judgmental of the very demographic that makes up its majority. I feel sad for this country.0 -
It hurts to see people stuck in a position you were once in. You end up putting yourself in their shoes, but not entirely - because you can never truly know what they're going through, what their struggles are, or why exactly they ended up that way. They are not you.
I have this situation with a girl at my work. I see her involved in a toxic relationship, and while some of the details are different, I can relate to a lot of the feelings she struggles with, and yet she refuses to leave the person even though he does awful things to her, to the point of putting her life at risk. I even find myself getting angry at her and caring too much, so I just avoid communicating with her for the most part. I realize that she is responsible for her own life and I for mine, and I am perhaps relating a little too closely to her struggles because it reminds me of my own.0 -
Wait, how is it by saying "try to remember being the fat person" rather than judging them, I am being self-righteous?0
This discussion has been closed.
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