I can't help judging fat people

Options
135

Replies

  • WifeNMama
    WifeNMama Posts: 2,876 Member
    Options
    if I see morbidly obese people I feel like going up to them and saying 'hey, I've lost five stone so far this year - you could do it too'
    What do you mean by "judging"? Do you mean you think they are lazy or stupid for not losing weight? If by "judging", you mean the quote above, that's not a bad thing to think. Obviously you wouldn't do it, but it's a normal impulse to want to share something that helped you.

    Judge action, not intent or character. Maybe the person has lost 5 stone as well. Maybe their mother or their child died two years ago and they are too numb with grief to think of their health. Maybe they are set in their ways, know they should change, but chose not to because of the work and the commitment involved. Seeing it from this side of some weight loss certainly gives you perspective, and yes, I've wanted to offer help in the grocery store before, but it's not my place to empty their shopping carts. I would encourage a lot of people I know to join MFP if I knew they were trying to lose weight. However, most simply want to complain about their weight rather than do anything about it. And I was in that place not too long ago, myself.
  • brittany17love
    brittany17love Posts: 66 Member
    Options
    It makes me nauseated seeing super morbidly obese people like I would guess 500-700 lbs. but I would never say anything plus I get grossed out easily. I still feel bad for obese people I do. It's heartbreaking that even on my worst days I never let myself go like that but food can be an addiction just like drugs and alcohol.

    We all have our issues. You know what I judge more? Those trampy little girls who are like 13 dressing like sluts walking around town and getting impregnated. If you wanna judge someone, judge THEM. They are filthy and dirty.
  • Schraudt814
    Schraudt814 Posts: 496 Member
    Options
    While I agree judging is bad and all that, I feel positive that every single person that has responded has probably judged someone in their life in SOME way, even if they kept it to themselves...if you haven't then truly good for you that's awesome and we should all try to be like that. :flowerforyou:

    Actually, we're all judging the OP. (Just to make your point... lol)

    haha touche!
  • Becoming_A_Butterfly
    Becoming_A_Butterfly Posts: 2,534 Member
    Options
    I am not offended by this and don't think you should feel guilty. After fighting to get past hurdles and make progress, it is natural to look at people who have yet to make those changes or find a way up that hill with different eyes. I have a long way to go to my goal weight, but I already see my own choices differently and can imagine that easily tranferring to other people I see struggling with their weight. Part of it may be wanting to help them, since you have already been through a lot of it, and part of it may be simply having a stronger understanding of what it took to get past the point they are currently at.

    Isn't it a bit ironic that some people are telling you to keep your thoughts to yourself and even calling you names...because they deem YOU judgmental?
  • mcrowe1016
    mcrowe1016 Posts: 647 Member
    Options
    This is so me, because they represent that part of myself I detest and fear.
    Through my support network here on MFP, I have learned to get past that.
    They're just people who are losing life's struggle.
    I pity them.
    As for me, NEVER AGAIN!
    I am fit for life, and maybe I can help others along their path while continuing to enjoy the support of those who help me here.
    All Is Possible!

    I completly agree with this. I see what I could have become or was.
  • catshark209
    catshark209 Posts: 1,133 Member
    Options
    I don't. They can't help being that way most times. Whether from medication or injuries which prevent one from being active, I never ever judge.

    I am going to correct that sentance. They can't help being that way some times.

    Sentence, not "sentance". I apologize for my oh so incorrect grammar.....oh lordy lordy what a sin!
  • emnk5308
    emnk5308 Posts: 736
    Options
    I do this too...and feel so terrible.. I don't want to/ like to judge any one. It isn't fair, I don't know their story.. I don't know if they have already lost a ton of weight.. so I wouldn't say anything ever to them. We are all human and it happens.. I just try to realize what I'm doing and tell myself to stop. It isn't fair to judge any one.
  • BigDaddyBRC
    BigDaddyBRC Posts: 2,395 Member
    Options
    Seriously...judging is going to happen. Whether or not you open your mouth about it or post something about is entirely where the issue is
  • Bobby_Clerici
    Bobby_Clerici Posts: 1,828 Member
    Options
    This is so me, because they represent that part of myself I detest and fear.
    Through my support network here on MFP, I have learned to get past that.
    They're just people who are losing life's struggle.
    I pity them.
    As for me, NEVER AGAIN!
    I am fit for life, and maybe I can help others along their path while continuing to enjoy the support of those who help me here.
    Judge NOT!
    All Is Possible!

    I completly agree with this. I see what I could have become or was.
    And what I can so easily become again.
    Anyway, ex-smokers and reformed alcoholics are like this as well.
    Fanaticism is the brother of doubt!
  • quinjacobs
    quinjacobs Posts: 10
    Options
    I wonder if someone saw me getting on a bus they would think the same thing. Even though I have changed my diet, and I exercise every single day of my life, I still get out of breath when I walk (especially if there is a hill). You SHOULDN'T even have posted this. This is the kind of thing that someone might see and just give up. Especially someone like me who has over 100lbs to go!! This post isn't motivational or supportive.
  • Buddhasmiracle
    Buddhasmiracle Posts: 925 Member
    Options
    It's very hard for me to write this and I'm choosing my words very carefully. Because of previously being a morbidly obese person myself and going through the 18-month process of having gastric bypass surgery four years ago, I judge no person for any reason. It's just not my place. Thankfully, you keep your feelings to yourself! Everyone comes to terms with who they are (either accepting and loving themselves or resolving to make a change). Glad you feel guilty as you should.

    To all the folks on these posts trying to lose any amount of weight - good for you! This is supposed to be a site that encourages and motivates people in their journey to a healthier way of life. I hope you haven't affected one person on this site with your harsh thoughts. Let's all try to be very positive on MFP :flowerforyou:

    You are lying if you saythat you NEVER judge. Don't be a hypocrite


    Some people have learned to replace judgement with compassion . . . and don't lie about it.
  • mrsdizzyd84
    mrsdizzyd84 Posts: 422 Member
    Options
    I don't think I prejudge people for their weight, at least I try not too, but I do have an immense amount of compassion for their situation. I also wish that I could help.
  • Jay_Jay_
    Jay_Jay_ Posts: 194 Member
    Options
    You definitely shouldn't feel guilty, OP. People here are going to be self-righteous on the internet, even though they will do the same thing as you, subconsciously or not. I'm guilty of it myself, though more often than not I see someone as big as I was when I started and it's not that I judge them, I just feel bad. I wish I could shake them and tell them there was a way out and that if I could do it, anyone can. I don't do that, because I know everyone needs to find their own motivation for losing weight, but sometimes its hard as hell not to.
  • bm99
    bm99 Posts: 597 Member
    Options

    We all have our issues. You know what I judge more? Those trampy little girls who are like 13 dressing like sluts walking around town and getting impregnated. If you wanna judge someone, judge THEM. They are filthy and dirty.

    You are a GEM.
  • fatgirlslove
    fatgirlslove Posts: 614 Member
    Options
    Bite me
  • DarqueChocalitLover
    DarqueChocalitLover Posts: 12
    Options
    Well judge me all you want ****. Just don't do it publicly. Congrats on "your" loss but think about how you would have felt if someone walked up to you and said that bullsh*t to you. Jerk
  • Dorkaleena
    Dorkaleena Posts: 59
    Options
    I don't feel superior, far from it. There but for the grace of God and all that...

    As I said above it shocks me to feel this way and of course I would never communicate such thoughts out loud. What it does do though is make me realise how I must have looked to people for all those years when I was kidding myself there was nothing wrong.

    My post certainly wasn't intended to be offensive, just honest, and it wasnt intended to demotivate anybody. Quite the opposite, people (obviously awful people like me) do judge wether we like it or not - I'm not going to let them look at me in that way again.

    Good for you! Seriously. There is no sarcasm there. Looking at someone in the same situation you were in and being able to use it to keep yourself motivated is a great tool. I think your word choice may have been poor is all. *Shuts up now*
  • LittleButMightyOne
    LittleButMightyOne Posts: 117
    Options
    When I see an overly obese person I'm not repulsed the way you seem to be. Rather, I feel sad for them; I wish they could live a healthier lifestyle so that life itself is easier: so that they aren't judged by others the way you are judging them, so that they can perform daily life activities like chasing their grandchildren or walking up a flight of stairs without feeling winded, so that they do not develop diseases associated with overweight like Type II Diabetes and hypertension.

    I'm going to be a doctor one day soon and I hope to encourage and inspire my unfit patients--no matter their size--to develop healthy lifestyles. :)

    All that being said, at least your'e being honest about your feelings. I saw a recent survey that said something like 50% or 2/3 or women would rather be hit by a car than "fat." I think it's sad that, as our society gets ever larger because of sedentary lifestyles and cheap, poor food choices, it at the same time becomes so much harsher and more judgmental of the very demographic that makes up its majority. I feel sad for this country.
  • auroranflash
    auroranflash Posts: 3,569 Member
    Options
    It hurts to see people stuck in a position you were once in. You end up putting yourself in their shoes, but not entirely - because you can never truly know what they're going through, what their struggles are, or why exactly they ended up that way. They are not you.

    I have this situation with a girl at my work. I see her involved in a toxic relationship, and while some of the details are different, I can relate to a lot of the feelings she struggles with, and yet she refuses to leave the person even though he does awful things to her, to the point of putting her life at risk. I even find myself getting angry at her and caring too much, so I just avoid communicating with her for the most part. I realize that she is responsible for her own life and I for mine, and I am perhaps relating a little too closely to her struggles because it reminds me of my own.
  • Brandicaloriecountess
    Brandicaloriecountess Posts: 2,126 Member
    Options
    Wait, how is it by saying "try to remember being the fat person" rather than judging them, I am being self-righteous?
This discussion has been closed.

Categories