I can't help judging fat people

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  • mcrowe1016
    mcrowe1016 Posts: 647 Member
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    I don't. They can't help being that way most times. Whether from medication or injuries which prevent one from being active, I never ever judge.

    I am going to correct that sentance. They can't help being that way some times.

    Sentence, not "sentance". I apologize for my oh so incorrect grammar.....oh lordy lordy what a sin!

    Though I do apologize for the spelling error, I was not correcting your grammar.....
  • LovelyLifter
    LovelyLifter Posts: 560 Member
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    Seriously...judging is going to happen. Whether or not you open your mouth about it or post something about is entirely where the issue is

    took the words right outta my mouth
  • DonniesGirl69
    DonniesGirl69 Posts: 644 Member
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    Wow......harsh, much?

    OP, you're not an awful person, you're simply human and you posted on here because you felt badly about what you're feeling. No one is perfect, including those calling you a **** or an *kitten*.
    Everyone judges, right or wrong, and anyone who says they don't is a liar. It's human nature, but you have the common sense and decency to not run up and spout off to people that you think they're making bad choices.
    Don't be so hard on yourself.
  • bm99
    bm99 Posts: 597 Member
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    NEWSFLASH: Pity and compassion often stem from a sense of superiority.

    It's still judging, people.
  • bisky
    bisky Posts: 994 Member
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    I think you brought a very honest post here. Maybe the word judge sounds critical. Maybe you are evaluating and considering what got yourself and others obese. When I go to the grocery store, especially Trader Joes, I look at what healthy appearing people are choosing and sometimes I get ideas. At the commissary where I do the majoriety of my shopping I see very obese people choosing high calorie processed foods that are not healthy. I also see parents buying a lot of sugary drinks and cereals for their children. For a nation that is so smart we sure have been mislead by the food industry.
  • Sheenamarie1221
    Sheenamarie1221 Posts: 67
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    I feel your pain, OP. You want to help them. You feel like you've had a great revelation and you want to pass it along, but you can't without hurting feelings. Even mentioning that you feel like this has complete strangers, not even the people you'd like to tell, with their panties in a bunch.

    Why might you feel superior? Well, easy. You've surpassed them, at least physically. Now you wonder what it is about them that keeps them from seeing the light.

    So let's just let these good people here who are without sin cast that first stone toward you.
    Well said. I agree 100%

    Yes! I think using the word "judging" is what got you, here. But it got people's attention. It sounds like you actually feel genuinely empathetic and frustrated more than anything, actually. If people actually read and try to UNDERSTAND what your saying, I don't think they'd be so offended. You're obviously not a bad person if you wish you could help them. Sounds like you're actually a very good and HONEST person. Good for you :wink:
  • Cliffslosinit
    Cliffslosinit Posts: 5,044 Member
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    If this is how you feel, then be yourself.
    I wish everyone would make a healthy change in their life.
    Sadly this will not happen.

    I push forward in my own life hoping to be a positive role model.
    I don't judge others for their choices.
    Nobody is perfect.

    Happy you have made a healthy choice for yourself.
    Wish the best for you!
  • Bustamove786
    Bustamove786 Posts: 1
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    Personally, I don't think that your post was offensive. I happen to agree that sometimes I can't help but judge somebody for their weight. If you can't take care of your body what do you have? So yes, I find it mildly annoying when I see an extremely overweight person reaching for the donuts and not a healthier choice. However, I absolutely applaud and look up to those who are working hard to get in shape and take care of their bodies no matter what size they are. I just think one should treat their bodies with more respect than feeding it with junk food and sitting around all day.
  • HeatherNoyes
    HeatherNoyes Posts: 114 Member
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    I don't think you are an *kitten* or anything of the sort but can also see how people can read this and think you are. I understand where your coming from but I think having compassion is the most important thing you can do. Be proud of yourself for changing but understand to each their own and you yourself had to make the decision to change. Maybe they will get there, maybe they wont.
  • tmauck4472
    tmauck4472 Posts: 1,783 Member
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    From my side and from someone who is working on it, I wonder who is judging me and I wonder if they know how I'm trying to change for the better so that I'm not so offensive to the eyes. I was at Zumba last night and because I got there late I had to be in the middle and wondered just what those people behind me was thinking when they see me try but not quite getting everything because I still can't do it all, but in my head I'm saying I may not do it now but I will get there, yes I will get there. But will they care that I'm working on it or will they judge me because I got this heavy to begin with.
  • Heaven71
    Heaven71 Posts: 706 Member
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    Dude, prepare yourself for the flame spray of offended. You crossed the "you hurt my feelings line" of someone I am sure. Good luck to you.

    LOL DOH!!!!

    I judge smokers fo sure! UGH!!! ex smokers are the worst, arent we?

    I feel bad for bigger people because it's mostly ignorance. They have no clue why they are big, they just think they are and that's that. It takes an epiphany for people that have lived that way for so long. It does make me cringe to see what they have in their baskets but I don't judge, I wish them knowledge and motivation, as well as great support when and if they do realize they have control over it.
  • k2quiere
    k2quiere Posts: 4,151 Member
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    I feel your pain, OP. You want to help them. You feel like you've had a great revelation and you want to pass it along, but you can't without hurting feelings. Even mentioning that you feel like this has complete strangers, not even the people you'd like to tell, with their panties in a bunch.

    Why might you feel superior? Well, easy. You've surpassed them, at least physically. Now you wonder what it is about them that keeps them from seeing the light.

    So let's just let these good people here who are without sin cast that first stone toward you.
    Well said. I agree 100%

    Ditto.

    OP, I don't think you're rude for posting this, as I've seen a lot of asshat things posted on these boards that go far beyond. It's very disconcerting to look at others and realize where you once were. If you're anything like me, you never admitted to yourself, even in your head how bad your body and mind had gotten. Looking at others who have the same shape you started with or who breathe in the way you used to when walking from the car to the house really makes it hit home, and then you start judging yourself, which leads to thoughts about what's stopping them. I'm glad you don't say what you're thinking, which says more about your character than your "judging". I just wish people on here wouldn't get butthurt about generalizations not directed at them.
  • jcstanton
    jcstanton Posts: 1,849 Member
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    It's awful isn't it? I hope they can't tell.

    I see them gasping for breath at the top of the stairs or squeezing into a seat on the bus. I look at all the dreadful choices in the shopping basket.

    Just a few short months ago it would have been me and now the boot's on the other foot. I recognise that I've still some way to go before I hit 'healthy weight' myself but if I see morbidly obese people I feel like going up to them and saying 'hey, I've lost five stone so far this year - you could do it too'

    Of course I don't actually do it. I'm the same with smokers having given that up six years ago.

    I feel guilty for judging - after all, I don't know the reasons for a person's body shape - but it's shocking to be seeing people as others would have seen me and sure as hell another motivator for me 'never going back'

    I don't know that I would call what you are doing "judging" per se, as it doesn't seem like you're really thinking it with a condescending or condemning attitude. You simply remember what it was like to be in their position, and you know how much better you feel now. You just wish for them to be able to experience that same feeling. However, you are wise to keep those thoughts to yourself. Unless a person has come to a point where they really want to change their habits, such thoughts are not generally well received.
  • jen88ve
    jen88ve Posts: 153
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    I don't feel superior, far from it. There but for the grace of God and all that...

    As I said above it shocks me to feel this way and of course I would never communicate such thoughts out loud. What it does do though is make me realise how I must have looked to people for all those years when I was kidding myself there was nothing wrong.

    My post certainly wasn't intended to be offensive, just honest, and it wasnt intended to demotivate anybody. Quite the opposite, people (obviously awful people like me) do judge wether we like it or not - I'm not going to let them look at me in that way again.

    You're saying you would never communication your thoughts out loud, but you just did! I don't really understand?
  • Heaven71
    Heaven71 Posts: 706 Member
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    From my side and from someone who is working on it, I wonder who is judging me and I wonder if they know how I'm trying to change for the better so that I'm not so offensive to the eyes. I was at Zumba last night and because I got there late I had to be in the middle and wondered just what those people behind me was thinking when they see me try but not quite getting everything because I still can't do it all, but in my head I'm saying I may not do it now but I will get there, yes I will get there. But will they care that I'm working on it or will they judge me because I got this heavy to begin with.

    You made me smile really big! Thanks
  • meshashesha2012
    meshashesha2012 Posts: 8,326 Member
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    As I said above it shocks me to feel this way and of course I would never communicate such thoughts out loud.

    so wait is this entire message board is in your head?


    anywho, that's good for you that you were able to decide to make the changes you needed to make. how long did it take YOU to get there?

    perhaps it's possible that other people come to decisions and calls to action on their own time?
  • MizSaz
    MizSaz Posts: 445 Member
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    I'm sorry that you hurt so many people's very fragile feelings.

    Seriously, all of you, toughen up a little. I hate to break it to you, but THE WHOLE WORLD judges you- this guy just has the balls to admit it.

    I weighed almost 200 pounds in high school, at 5 feet tall. At 135 now, having overcome binging, deprivation, a drug problem and obesity, I have earned the right to say "Yes, I AM better than you, and I'm not going to feel bad about it". I judge the middle age fat ladies wheeling around Wal-Mart throwing cupcakes and Doritos into their cart. I judge the people that are obviously overfeeding their kids. That doesn't mean I run up to them and tell them what terrible people they are, but yes, sometimes, I do think less of people who have given up and accepted an unhealthy life because they're too lazy to give a damn.
  • Shannon2714
    Shannon2714 Posts: 843 Member
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    People are ****s. You're doing nothing that the majority of people don't do. You're not being rude, you don't say anything to them. You're being honest in a place where most people would rather b!tch at you for something they do themselves. I know I do it. I HATE going to the grocery store and seeing someone using a motorized cart just because they are too big to walk around the store...especially when I know that if they DID walk, they could lose some weight.

    It's funny that people are judging you for what you said about judging others. F*cking hypocrites.
  • maab_connor
    maab_connor Posts: 3,927 Member
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    you have NO idea where someone is in their life. you have no idea where they have been or where they are going. if you see someone huffing and puffing at the top of the stairs - hey, they took the STAIRS! you don't know if that's the biggest NSV they've ever had. you don't know if they were once 600lbs. and are only NOW down enough to WALK the stairs.

    i can understand that fear can show itself as anger very easily - and extereme judgement is actually a manifestation of that anger - but if you're having that much trouble, then might i suggest therapy.

    healthy bodies are nothing without healthy brains and healthy sense-of self inside them.
  • catshark209
    catshark209 Posts: 1,133 Member
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    I don't. They can't help being that way most times. Whether from medication or injuries which prevent one from being active, I never ever judge.

    I am going to correct that sentance. They can't help being that way some times.

    Sentence, not "sentance". I apologize for my oh so incorrect grammar.....oh lordy lordy what a sin!

    Though I do apologize for the spelling error, I was not correcting your grammar.....

    I was joking. Doesn't translate well on the screen. Bleh.
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