Dating after losing weight?
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I actually gained most of my weight after meeting my boyfriend and I am now tryin to lose it all back. But I met him online at zoosk.com and we have been together over a year and living together now. That site was cheaper than eharmony and match but I also noticed those sites were more...how do I phrase it....I'm 24 almost 25 and zoosk had a lot more people my age.0
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I remember feeling alot that way when I was single. I haven't felt that way since I met Brent in 2005. He married me at my heavy weight in 2008. First we both gained 30 lbs after being together :laugh: .. Then I lost about 35 lbs last year, after being married to him 3 years...... He didn't try to lose weight himself. Hes not unhappy being overweight like I was... But, If you meet the right guy, hopefully hes one that can see you for who you are on inside, and not just your outside & not just your weight or size. I think what your feeling is normal. I used to feel that way... But you meet the right guy, that feeling might change.0
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Thanks ladies! I really appreciate the encouragemant and the advice!! You guys rock!0
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I'm trying to get back in the dating game myself. I feel more confident know so I have a better time when I do go out. Recently I cancelled a first date when he admitted over the phone that he "hated fat people". I told him that I had been fat, I have fat family members, and I didn't think I wanted to see him anymore. It's a sensitive subject for me
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I am holding off until I get closer to my goal weight, dating is hard enough without dealing with the jerks that look at you like you are dog poop on their shoe because you are overweight.0
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i agree thats why i have waited. i have maybe 20 more to go so i think im ready. good luck to you!0
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wow i had something similar happen. a potential date mentioned he had obese grandparents and acted like it disgusted him and that they meant nothing bc they were fat. I am uncomfortable with people with any prejudice and if he hates fat people thats just the worst since i was fat!!0
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I may be completely off here, and obviously as I can hope you tell I'm not a lady, but I don't think you all should wait to start dating.
I think its more of a confidence issue. I know after ending a nasty relationship in my past I waited over 2 years to date again.
On the positive, if he likes and/or loves you when you're bigger - he'll only like you more when you've improved your body 0 -
I just wanted to be comfortable enough with myself to actually enjoy dating. It wasn't really about the amount of weight.0
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I was best at dating when I was heavier... probably because I didn't care so much about what I looked like and just assumed I was hot. A 450+ lb. jiggly mound of hotness. Hmmmm, now that I don't want to be obese or overweight anymore and I want to be active, it seems I've hit a weight that is somewhere in between what athletic guys enjoy seeing and what chubbychasers like. Kind of hit a no-mans-land -- LITERALLY.
I'm not chalking this all up to the guys though. Yes, with my increased active lifestyle, I don't have as much free time. Yes, I do have more genuine confidence. Yes, I do actively seek a partner that will support my healthier life. So, some of it's me... I get that. Just that since I've lost this much weight, I've had the absolutely worst dates and almost worst relationships of my life (when I was very heavy I got involved in an abusive relationship and that one was technically the worst). It confuses me... I think I look better. I'm more active. I'm teaching my children about health and their bodies and their well-being. I'm upbeat (except for when the scale is a dirty liar LOL). I can walk farther, run faster, lift more, go up more stairs and generally be moving 1000 times more than I could 18 months ago.
What gives? Why wait? Today is a beautiful day to start your next big adventure!!!0 -
I jumped in when I felt comfortable - and not even with my weight, but with myself. I am currently seeing someone I met on POF (yes there are some nice guys out there) Mind you I am not anywhere near my goal, but he accepts me for me and still thinks I am beautiful. If he can accept me now, then he can accept me when I get to where I want to go and he is very supportive on the way.
Have to be comfortable in your own skin before you can let someone close to you. Best of luck to you :flowerforyou:0 -
I am real relaxed about dating. I want a certain type of guy so if that means getting closer to goal then so be it. I really think it boils down to confidence in ones self and knowing this isn't just a fad bc I desire a guy who eats healthy and workouts as well. Now I feel all dudes are dumb that don't think this 200 plus dynamo isn't top shelf trophy.0
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This is a hard issue Im newly single and I'm trying to met someone now so I don't have to worry about falling for a I like only skinny girls kind of guy I actually had a guy tell me a few days back that if I was only skinny he would want to be with me and he knows I'm working on losing my weight it made me so mad I'm almost scared to lose the weight because of guys like him0
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I guess you could say I'm sort of in the same boat. I look okay, but I don't FEEL great! I think when you feel great about yourself, not cocky, that you tend to give off more of a confidence vibe that people like. Nobody wants to be around people that are always complaining about their weight and such. I'd be willing to date now, but will feel even better when I can just lose 10-15 lbs. Working on it now! Actually might have the opportunity to be dating somebody I have a little crush on now...guess I'll find out soon...just saw him again after meeting him 3 months ago in a tennis match. Saw him Wed night and he came up to ME to talk.
(fingers crossed) 0 -
Why wait to date? If the guy doesn't like you because of your outward appearance than screw him. This is the problem that society has done. It's forced us women as well as men to think that what we want in a partner is someone skinny. Ladies, men like meat!!! Please don't change yourself just for dating. Make changes to make yourself healthy not to please someone else that you may only see one time. Here's what i suggest you ladies do, stand infront of a mirror and look at yourself. God made you the way you are for a reason. The areas you hate, learn to love and accept the beauty of your body. And remember, what's inside is what matters the most. You are all beautiful in your own way, don't forget that.0
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I may be completely off here, and obviously as I can hope you tell I'm not a lady, but I don't think you all should wait to start dating.
I think its more of a confidence issue. I know after ending a nasty relationship in my past I waited over 2 years to date again.
On the positive, if he likes and/or loves you when you're bigger - he'll only like you more when you've improved your body
You are such a sweet guy! Very well said and true.
By the way, be confident in who you are and remember than any man who doesn't want you for who you are doesn't deserve your time.0 -
Good point. Thnaks for your input, its def helpful to get a mans input. Thank you very much!0
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I so understand. Looking good and feeling ok about it is difficult after you have lost weight. I guess i just gotta get in the right mindset. I hope it works out with your crush!! Go get him girl!!0
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Thank you. your are so right! time to jump back into the dating game!0
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