need you girls advice
Ok I have this guy that I went to school with and was grade school sweethearts with that contacted me via facebook a few weeks ago and said he has never quit thinking about me and wondering what if.. And he wants to take me out.. Here is the problem he is dating someone else and I think that she thinks they are exclusive.. He text me everyday Monday through Friday but not ever on the weekends so I can tell they are together then.. Do I date him and and be thankful he was honest from the start or run for the hills??? I have been hurt in almost every serious relationship I have been in so I am very leary!! What would you guys do??
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Replies
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Depends...are you okay with being the "other woman"??0
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Depends...are you okay with being the "other woman"??
What he said but it sort of sounds like you're the "other woman" already since he texts you daily.0 -
Does he just want friendship or something more?
If he just wants to be friends then no problem but if he wants to pick up where things left off then I'd definitely want him to tell his g/f that it's over with them before I even thought about dating him.
You don't want to be hurt and I'm sure you wouldn't want this other lady to get hurt either.
He's got to be honest about what he wants from you and what he's going to do about his current relationship.
Good luck. :flowerforyou:0 -
i would definitely ask him what the other girl knows/thinks about their exclusivity before entering in anything.0
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How do you know he is dating someone else? What makes you think that she thinks they are exclusive? Do you know her?Here is the problem he is dating someone else and I think that she thinks they are exclusive.. He text me everyday Monday through Friday but not ever on the weekends so I can tell they are together then.0 -
Only you can decide what you are willing to live with and deal with.
Personally, I would not be okay with dating someone who was dating someone else, especially if the first woman thought they were exclusive. And I guess maybe I'm selfish, but I want to be priority, not an option or something out of convenience. But that's what I'm going to do for the guy I'm seeing. I'm not going to date more than one guy at a time, well, not past a first date anyway...0 -
I dont think you should, because if hes doing it around with her, he could be doing it around with you if you date him. If he's gonna go behind her back to talk to you, but on weekends you cant. Then if you got with him, he would be doing the same thing with someone else and you would never know. So no, find someone whos loyal and honest and doesn't play you like that.0
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Run!!!! You never want to be hidden or his second choice, which is what you would be. You deserve so much more than that. Life is to short to settle.0
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When you say grade school...do you mean grade school (K-5th/6th?) or did you maybe mean grad school (graduate school)? I want to resist responding until I'm clear on the age we're talking about, lol. :happy:0
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This happens to single friends of mine ALL the time. Exes fishing for hookups with ex girlfriends via Facebook. Run the other way fast!0
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Don't be his second choice. If he wants to be with you, he should have the decency to tell the other woman. If he doesn't - what tells you he won't do the same thing to you later on? Guys who find a "replacement" before leaving someone are not worth a woman who respects herself"s time. You are worth having saturdays and sundays too!! Don't settle for less.0
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AS it was stated earlier, if he's looking at you as a friend, then totally go out with him for dinner or whatever. BUT you need to also look at him as a friend. IF he's just trying to double dip, then he will most likely not want anything serious and you run the risk of heartbreak. Entering messy situations will lead to a messy end. Good luck!0
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Just go out to dinner as friends. You don't have to be the "other woman" if you just go out for a bite to eat to catch up from the past.0
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Run!!!! You never want to be hidden or his second choice, which is what you would be. You deserve so much more than that. Life is to short to settle.
i agree. if you two do ever end up together and she is out of the picture, who is to say someone else won't catch his eye and you are left in the dust of their romance. not cool.
also try and talk to him. when my dad started dating after he divorced my mom, he went on many many dates before he settled down with someone. maybe they aren't as exclusive as you think they are.0 -
Run and never look back!0
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RUN the other direction. Any man that wants to date you but has 'another woman' is TROUBLE. If he's doing it to her, he'll do it to you. Love yourself more than that...
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You know it is wrong. You deserve better than a guy who would do that to someone. Don't ever be anybody's second choice.0
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If you have to ask for advice than its probably a bad idea. I would run.0
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If he is honestly wondering "what if" with you while he has another on his arm, that sort of says a lot about what may happen if you pursue that route. Even if he's just looking to be buddies, you have to wonder if his girlfriend will be comfortable knowing your history.
Personally I would ask him exactly what he is looking to get out of contacting you after all this time and see if you're comfortable with it or not knowing what you know. If he's looking for more and you're not, tell him so. If he leaves after that, he wasn't worth even reminiscing over.0 -
He sounds sleazy and untrustworthy and has already shown a COMPLETE lack of respect to you and this other lady. You deserve better than this.0
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If he's someone you always liked too, just meet with him. If there is a connection address the girlfriend situation them. You're just talking about a date not about running off together that day.
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He is dating someone else.....that says it all right there......as far as an intimate relationship goes.
If you guys want to talk and stay friends...no problem with that as long as the other person knows that you are communicating...
I am still in contact with both males/females from my high school years....my husband knows...my phone is open to him, my email is open to him, my computer stays logged on to all the sites i get on......
If someone has something to hide.....then it is wrong.....
Trust is the most important thing in a relationship. When he ends his relationship with the other person...then maybe you guys can pick up where you left off years ago.
San 0 -
You might want to change your phone number while you are running are just tell him what you are thinking and not to contact you again until he is SINGLE!0
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Ok I have this guy that I went to school with and was grade school sweethearts with that contacted me via facebook a few weeks ago and said he has never quit thinking about me and wondering what if.. And he wants to take me out.. Here is the problem he is dating someone else and I think that she thinks they are exclusive.. He text me everyday Monday through Friday but not ever on the weekends so I can tell they are together then.. Do I date him and and be thankful he was honest from the start or run for the hills??? I have been hurt in almost every serious relationship I have been in so I am very leary!! What would you guys do??
He is infatuated with a fantasy of you decades ago. You have both become different people in those decades. No more chance that you are more compatible with him now than with the next guy that you meet.
Would you go out with some other guy (who is in a relationship) that you just met?
Can you spell BOOTY CALL?0 -
Since this is the case, maybe you aren't accustomed to how a relationship is supposed to function. If he's going behind her back, it's not ok. Get involved with him and you will end up getting hurt once again.I have been hurt in almost every serious relationship I have been in0 -
^^^^This!RUN the other direction. Any man that wants to date you but has 'another woman' is TROUBLE. If he's doing it to her, he'll do it to you. Love yourself more than that...
Sounds like he wants someone waiting in the wings in case his current relationship doesn't work out. You are worth so much more than that!0 -
Run!!!! You never want to be hidden or his second choice, which is what you would be. You deserve so much more than that. Life is to short to settle.
I agree.0 -
RUN0
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if you are sure that there is someone he is already seeing, take my grandmothers advice..."If they do it with you, they will do it TO you". If he ends that relationship prior to you, that is different, but asking you out while involved with someone else still leads me to a cheater....just say no girl. You deserve better!0
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My advice (from someone who has been in this situation): if he's not willing to give you 100%, then you are guaranteed to get hurt in some aspect. What if you start to really fall for him and want him all to yourself, but he's not willing to give up this other girl? What if this other girl finds out and gets hurt... can you live with being THAT GIRL who was part of the reason for another person's heartbreak?
When I was in this situation, I was totally in love with a man who had a live-in girlfriend... he kept saying he wasn't in love with his girlfriend but was in love with me and wanted to be with me.... long story short, it never happened. He had one excuse after another and, even though he claimed I was his top priority, he always put me on the back burner. That hurt... badly. I realized this and moved on.... I met my WONDERFUL husband who adores me and always puts me first. Now, he pines for me and says he wishes things could be different.... too little too late.
If a man can't give you 100% of his time, then he's not worth one second of yours. 0
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