Eating Disorder Support and Questions

crumbsofcookies
crumbsofcookies Posts: 2
in Motivation and Support
Hi,

My name is Sophie. I had an eating disorder in high school, but I recovered and have been mostly okay for about three years. However, in the last couple months, the urge to return to my previous habits has been unbearably strong and for the last few weeks I've found myself consuming about 400 - 600 cals a day.

But I don't WANT to be like that again! I joined this website hoping someone could help me... I really want cookies, for example. But I know that the moment I eat one, I'm going to hate myself. How do I not hate myself for eating carbs?

Is it okay to eat grains like pasta and bread and cookies? I've been living off lettuce and apples, and I want to change. But I don't know how.

Replies

  • kathyms13
    kathyms13 Posts: 497 Member
    hi sophie, if you open your diary we can help you. i tend to eat around 8oo but i think i have a healthy diet. my diarys open.
  • jeanninecurran
    jeanninecurran Posts: 63 Member
    So proud of you for telling on yourself. We are as sick as our secrets, right? Kashi makes some great cookies that are around 140 cal. each but very satisfying. Also, I discovered a brand called Who Nu that makes cookies that are so much better for you that regular ones and taste just the same. I love the oreo ones. I found for myself that if I really crave a cookie I'm better off having one cause I would eat other stuff, not be satisfied and eat the cookie in the end anyway. Just make better choices, be good to yourself and like someone else suggested, open your diary to others who can help
  • ahaaa
    ahaaa Posts: 2
    I to have and had a serious eating disorder. I am fit and healthy ow. My best advice to avoid slipping into old habits are, #1 practice what your learned in program at least 3 meals and one snack a day, eat for nutrition if you find it difficult to eat anything 2# exercise, I choose running and am determined to meet my goal of running a marathon next year if i starve binge or purge I won't be successful in my goal 3# Ask yourself what your goal is, maybe it shouldn't be weight loss, but fitness, or to eat more veggies or to swim across the nile, or to set a good example.. You can add me my food diary is open. xo
  • cmeade20
    cmeade20 Posts: 1,238 Member
    Having carbs like pasta and rice won't make you gain weight as long as you use portion control. Whole wheat pasta and brown rice is better for you. I have a peanut butter cookie recipe that makes delicious cookies that have aren't unhealthy at all. And whenever you feel the urge to only eat a couple hundred calories a day search for the forum posts about people who ate more to lose fat, it might help you out.
  • myfitnessnmhoy
    myfitnessnmhoy Posts: 2,105 Member
    Congratulations on being honest to yourself and open about it. That's an excellent sign.

    And it's ABSOLUTELY OK to eat carbohydrates, particularly complex ones like you'll find in grains and oats and stuff. Not that apples are unhealthy, but the sugars in them are very simple and complex carbohydrates are even better for you. And cookies are not bad for you! TOO MANY cookies are bad for you! You can eat small amounts of pretty much anything you want as long as it fits in your calorie budget.

    I'd suggest starting to track your fat, carbohydrate, and protein intakes. Follow the site's guidelines and try to keep them in reasonable balance. Focus on good-quality carbohydrates (ones that do not also raise your "sugar" intake), but remember, "focus on" does NOT meal "eat only". All things in moderation and balance, and VARIETY is a very important part of eating - it helps ensure you get all the nutrients your body needs to be healthy. The more you learn about the beneficial components of all foods (including cookies!), the better you'll be able to meet your daily nutritional needs.

    You'll get a lot of support from friendly folks here on the site, and that's great, but if you are finding your relationship with food deteriorating a bit I'd also urge you to reach out for some more professional help and nip this in the bud while it's still only a concern.
  • Kelmitt
    Kelmitt Posts: 5
    My whole life I've gone back and forth from eating 500 calories a day and then a billion the next. I starve myself until I can't control the cravings anymore and I end up over doing it. When I was in high school, I was bulimic only because I would hate myself for binging. I still find it hard to eat right but the difference is that I don't throw up anymore which keeps me fat. Most of my days are anywhere from 1000-1500 calories plus exercise but there are still those days where I barely eat anything. I find that by tracking everything I eat, and then looking at the nutritional information report, I can pinpoint what I've consumed and what I need nutritionally to be healthy. Say, if I'm low on calcium for the day I drink a cup of skim milk to boost that number a bit. On the days that I don't eat much I suffer from hypoglycemia so drinking a cup of 2% milk really helps with the symptoms. I'm not the best at giving advice for an eating disorder but those 100 calorie pack snacks are a good replacement for regular cookies and they are actually really good. I get the white fudge pretzel, chocolate chip cookie thins, and the oreo thins. I don't eat sweets every day but if I'm craving sugar, I stick to those or fruit! Good luck, hun, I know how frustrating it can be!
  • Annette_rose
    Annette_rose Posts: 427 Member
    As someone who suffered bulemia for several years, I know where you are coming from. I still struggle with bad body image. My counselor told me to journal my feelings, especially at the times I wanted to binge and throw up. My heart goes out to anyone with eating disorders of any kind because many times we face them alone and too embarrassed to admit to anyone that we have one. If I gorge myself on ice cream or something I don't "need", I still feel the desire to get rid of it. You are on the first step of recovery just by being on here, finding supportive friends, and recognizing your eating disorder. I am proud of you and think you will do wonderful! :flowerforyou:
  • KaidaKantri
    KaidaKantri Posts: 401
    I've never had the problem of eating too low of calories myself, except when I'm sick. Eating too much is unhealthy but not eating enough is unhealthy as well. My suggestion would be to think..how many calories am I at? Too low? well then having that cookie is going to be good for me because I need to get my calories up. Right now it sounds like your being unhealthy by NOT eating enough. If you still are having a hard time just eating that cookie, but want to get your calories up, try finding some more healthy snacks for yourself s you won't feel bad. I get light v8 that is 50 calories per glass, and I absolutely love it! It's delicious. Whenever I hang out with friends I usually end up getting stuck going to get ice cream or something like that. I've found quite a few places that are great for calories though. If your doing good with your calories, treat yourself! It's worth it and it really is good for you. Another thing you might try to help keep yourself from feeling bad is once you eat that cookie, go for a short walk. I know this helps me on my bad days when I've gone over and I feel guilty. I go for a walk after and it helps make me feel better about eating more than I should.
  • OTchic
    OTchic Posts: 205 Member
    hey girl i could cry because i was there a couple of months ago. i had a cookie once and felt so bad about it I ran on the treadmill till i burned it off while crying and yet my ED was 6 years ago. I didn't want to go back to that and pretty quickly I noticed eating 1200 calories with cookies and dining out and having one cheat meal or snack would not RUIN my weight loss. i would workout and eat healthy and not so healthy and still see a weight loss. i am SOOOO much happier. trust me start to do this the heathy way and u will soon see u can eat healthy and splurge everyone in a while and still lose. what made me change was can i really cry or feel quilty over a cookie for the rest of my life? i am only 22 and do not want that for myself and im so happy! friend me if you want to talk and have my support!

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