Hello From New England

Hello all!

I joined my fitness pal out of frustration with my up and down weight and out of a need of some support and motivation. After losing over 150lbs 6 years ago and keeping it off for 4 1/2 of those years I've been wrestling with the same 45lbs off and on and wrestling with getting stronger and being comfortable with my body. I'm so sacred of gaining and so frustrated and feel so crappy about my body and I want to change for good. My fiance and good friend have started my fitness pal out of a want to get healthy and help me.
Currently I'm a 22 year old housewife (okay, technically a house fiancee) who volunteers at a horse rescue and has been riding off and on about 14 years now. I knit and sew and have no car which makes working out tricky sometimes but I do love to be active.
I cannot eat wheat/gluten and try to keep a low sugar diet but I feel massively stuck and really don't love myself the way I should.