Hope I don't get in trouble for this one;)

NWCountryGal
NWCountryGal Posts: 1,992 Member
The Husband Store

A store that sells new husbands has opened in New York City , where a woman may go to choose a husband. Among the instructions at the entrance is a description of how the store operates:

You may visit this store ONLY ONCE! There are six floors and the value of the products increase as the shopper ascends the flights. The shopper may choose any item from a particular floor, or may choose to go up to the next floor, but you cannot go back down except to exit the building!

So, a woman goes to the Husband Store to find a husband. On the first floor the sign on the door reads:

Floor 1 - These men Have Jobs

She is intrigued, but continues to the second floor, where the sign reads:

Floor 2 - These men Have Jobs and Love Kids.

'That's nice,' she thinks, 'but I want more.'

So she continues upward. The third floor sign reads:

Floor 3 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, and are Extremely Good Looking.

'Wow,' she thinks, but feels compelled to keep going.

She goes to the fourth floor and the sign reads:

Floor 4 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, are Drop-dead Good Looking and Help With Housework.

'Oh, mercy me!' she exclaims, 'I can hardly stand it!'

Still, she goes to the fifth floor and the sign reads:

Floor 5 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, are Drop-dead Gorgeous, Help with Housework, and Have a Strong Romantic Streak.

She is so tempted to stay, but she goes to the sixth floor , where the sign reads:

Floor 6 - You are visitor 31,456,012 to this floor. There are no men on this floor. This floor exists solely as proof that women are impossible to please. Thank you for shopping at the Husband Store.

PLEASE NOTE:

To avoid gender bias charges, the store's owner opened a New Wives store just across the street.

The first floor has wives that love sex.

The second floor has wives that love sex and have money and like beer

The third, fourth, fifth and sixth floors have never been visited.
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Replies

  • elenathegreat
    elenathegreat Posts: 3,988 Member
    The Husband Store

    A store that sells new husbands has opened in New York City , where a woman may go to choose a husband. Among the instructions at the entrance is a description of how the store operates:

    You may visit this store ONLY ONCE! There are six floors and the value of the products increase as the shopper ascends the flights. The shopper may choose any item from a particular floor, or may choose to go up to the next floor, but you cannot go back down except to exit the building!

    So, a woman goes to the Husband Store to find a husband. On the first floor the sign on the door reads:

    Floor 1 - These men Have Jobs

    She is intrigued, but continues to the second floor, where the sign reads:

    Floor 2 - These men Have Jobs and Love Kids.

    'That's nice,' she thinks, 'but I want more.'

    So she continues upward. The third floor sign reads:

    Floor 3 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, and are Extremely Good Looking.

    'Wow,' she thinks, but feels compelled to keep going.

    She goes to the fourth floor and the sign reads:

    Floor 4 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, are Drop-dead Good Looking and Help With Housework.

    'Oh, mercy me!' she exclaims, 'I can hardly stand it!'

    Still, she goes to the fifth floor and the sign reads:

    Floor 5 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, are Drop-dead Gorgeous, Help with Housework, and Have a Strong Romantic Streak.

    She is so tempted to stay, but she goes to the sixth floor , where the sign reads:

    Floor 6 - You are visitor 31,456,012 to this floor. There are no men on this floor. This floor exists solely as proof that women are impossible to please. Thank you for shopping at the Husband Store.

    PLEASE NOTE:

    To avoid gender bias charges, the store's owner opened a New Wives store just across the street.

    The first floor has wives that love sex.

    The second floor has wives that love sex and have money and like beer

    The third, fourth, fifth and sixth floors have never been visited.

    This is fantastic! My husband loved it:)
  • mommared53
    mommared53 Posts: 9,543 Member
    :laugh: :laugh:
  • Valqis
    Valqis Posts: 1,016 Member
    My wife simply replied, "That was wrong!"
  • Altarian
    Altarian Posts: 230 Member
    no matter how many times i read that i laugh every time. thanks
  • MaryJane_8810002
    MaryJane_8810002 Posts: 2,082 Member
    The Husband Store

    A store that sells new husbands has opened in New York City , where a woman may go to choose a husband. Among the instructions at the entrance is a description of how the store operates:

    You may visit this store ONLY ONCE! There are six floors and the value of the products increase as the shopper ascends the flights. The shopper may choose any item from a particular floor, or may choose to go up to the next floor, but you cannot go back down except to exit the building!

    So, a woman goes to the Husband Store to find a husband. On the first floor the sign on the door reads:

    Floor 1 - These men Have Jobs

    She is intrigued, but continues to the second floor, where the sign reads:

    Floor 2 - These men Have Jobs and Love Kids.

    'That's nice,' she thinks, 'but I want more.'

    So she continues upward. The third floor sign reads:

    Floor 3 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, and are Extremely Good Looking.

    'Wow,' she thinks, but feels compelled to keep going.

    She goes to the fourth floor and the sign reads:

    Floor 4 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, are Drop-dead Good Looking and Help With Housework.

    'Oh, mercy me!' she exclaims, 'I can hardly stand it!'

    Still, she goes to the fifth floor and the sign reads:

    Floor 5 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, are Drop-dead Gorgeous, Help with Housework, and Have a Strong Romantic Streak.

    She is so tempted to stay, but she goes to the sixth floor , where the sign reads:

    Floor 6 - You are visitor 31,456,012 to this floor. There are no men on this floor. This floor exists solely as proof that women are impossible to please. Thank you for shopping at the Husband Store.

    PLEASE NOTE:

    To avoid gender bias charges, the store's owner opened a New Wives store just across the street.

    The first floor has wives that love sex.

    The second floor has wives that love sex and have money and like beer

    The third, fourth, fifth and sixth floors have never been visited.

    Oh my gosh when I started to read this I immediately went into Yelp to see if the store was near me!
  • NWCountryGal
    NWCountryGal Posts: 1,992 Member
    Oh great! My sis sends me some good ones:) Glad you guys liked it, denise:)
    The Husband Store

    A store that sells new husbands has opened in New York City , where a woman may go to choose a husband. Among the instructions at the entrance is a description of how the store operates:

    You may visit this store ONLY ONCE! There are six floors and the value of the products increase as the shopper ascends the flights. The shopper may choose any item from a particular floor, or may choose to go up to the next floor, but you cannot go back down except to exit the building!

    So, a woman goes to the Husband Store to find a husband. On the first floor the sign on the door reads:

    Floor 1 - These men Have Jobs

    She is intrigued, but continues to the second floor, where the sign reads:

    Floor 2 - These men Have Jobs and Love Kids.

    'That's nice,' she thinks, 'but I want more.'

    So she continues upward. The third floor sign reads:

    Floor 3 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, and are Extremely Good Looking.

    'Wow,' she thinks, but feels compelled to keep going.

    She goes to the fourth floor and the sign reads:

    Floor 4 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, are Drop-dead Good Looking and Help With Housework.

    'Oh, mercy me!' she exclaims, 'I can hardly stand it!'

    Still, she goes to the fifth floor and the sign reads:

    Floor 5 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, are Drop-dead Gorgeous, Help with Housework, and Have a Strong Romantic Streak.

    She is so tempted to stay, but she goes to the sixth floor , where the sign reads:

    Floor 6 - You are visitor 31,456,012 to this floor. There are no men on this floor. This floor exists solely as proof that women are impossible to please. Thank you for shopping at the Husband Store.

    PLEASE NOTE:

    To avoid gender bias charges, the store's owner opened a New Wives store just across the street.

    The first floor has wives that love sex.

    The second floor has wives that love sex and have money and like beer

    The third, fourth, fifth and sixth floors have never been visited.

    This is fantastic! My husband loved it:)
  • ValerieMartini2Olives
    ValerieMartini2Olives Posts: 3,024 Member
    Thank you! That was very funny.
  • Denjo060
    Denjo060 Posts: 1,008
    HAHAHAHAH love it :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :bigsmile:
  • NWCountryGal
    NWCountryGal Posts: 1,992 Member
    LOL!! I cracked up at your smilies, I forget we have those here;) :bigsmile:
    :laugh: :laugh:
  • adavis59
    adavis59 Posts: 285 Member
    Good one! LMAO!! :laugh: :laugh:
  • I loved it!!! So very true, HAHAHAHAHA!
  • NWCountryGal
    NWCountryGal Posts: 1,992 Member
    you are welcome Valerie:happy:
    Thank you! That was very funny.
  • RobynMWilson
    RobynMWilson Posts: 1,540 Member
    Hahaha! Funny shizz! ;)
  • annahiven
    annahiven Posts: 177 Member
    Funny... I think I would be happier shopping in the wives store. Kids, and help with chores? Romantic streak? Meh, no thank you. Gimme a man who likes sex, alcohol and video games, please :-)
  • NWCountryGal
    NWCountryGal Posts: 1,992 Member
    Yep, makes me want to go shopping and I know which floor to stop at, :laugh: :bigsmile:
    I loved it!!! So very true, HAHAHAHAHA!
  • HelloSweetie4
    HelloSweetie4 Posts: 1,214 Member
    Thanks for that laugh! :laugh:
  • stupidloser
    stupidloser Posts: 300 Member
    That was hilarious!:laugh: :laugh:
  • NWCountryGal
    NWCountryGal Posts: 1,992 Member
    omg, what a hoot:laugh:
    Funny... I think I would be happier shopping in the wives store. Kids, and help with chores? Romantic streak. Meh. Gimme a man who likes sex, alcohol and video games, please :-)
  • kesteele
    kesteele Posts: 127
    loveeee it!!!! hahahah thanks for the laughs
  • janiceover
    janiceover Posts: 26 Member
    Hilarious!:laugh:
  • utahgirl247
    utahgirl247 Posts: 370 Member
    hubby and i giggled and giggled, thanks for posting!!
  • NWCountryGal
    NWCountryGal Posts: 1,992 Member
    Oh I have more where that came from. My sis sends me at least one a day that cracks me up:bigsmile:
    That was hilarious!:laugh: :laugh:
  • menletti
    menletti Posts: 96 Member
    Oh my goodness!!! Love love love it!!!
  • NWCountryGal
    NWCountryGal Posts: 1,992 Member
    You are so welcome, LOL!! :laugh:
    hubby and i giggled and giggled, thanks for posting!!
  • pstaceyca
    pstaceyca Posts: 306 Member
    Hahahahahahha!! Good one!
  • NWCountryGal
    NWCountryGal Posts: 1,992 Member
    Wow, lots of people read these!! You are all welcome and glad you enjoyed it:) denise:bigsmile:
  • DeeDee2211
    DeeDee2211 Posts: 1,133 Member
    Loved it! Thanks for the laugh!:laugh:
  • LOL! I've read this one before and I always get a chuckle out of it. Thank you for sharing.
  • bpatmon
    bpatmon Posts: 3
    That's funny.
  • Bobby_Clerici
    Bobby_Clerici Posts: 1,828 Member
    What about me?
    I am in the basement :drinker: