What's Your Story?

I spent my younger years going up stone by stone. I didn't think I was doing much wrong in the eating department and I did walk everywhere etc... I'll probably still never admit to myself I did anything wrong.

Being abused by my Step-Father at 11 put an end to the happiness, and knowing he hated fat women... Eating was to be my best friend. I just got bigger and bigger.

I had to do something about my 33stone 10lbs weight when my then partner died. He had a heart attack. He was a big lad too... about 22 stone, so nowhere near what I was but still - when someone who is 27 years old drops dead of a heart attack and everyone around you is saying it's his weight - you have to do something. We'd been together for 4 years, we we're going to start a family! Get married! It all vanished.

I had surgery in 2010. I was 26st 10lbs when I had surgery. Obviously we all sign paperwork to say what could happen. MOST people it doesn't happen to. Me? Well, I'm very VERY lucky to still be here. I died on the table 3 times. I had a cardiac arrest. It's a PEA which is pulseless electrical activity. Which basically means, the machines told them I was alive... I wasn't. I'd been dead 7 mins. Yes, very lucky to be alive and not brain dead. And that's where the problems began.

I was in hospital for 12 days, as expected with something like that. When I came home I was sick as a dog. I lived on anti sickness tablets. I don't think there was a day went by for the first 15 months that I didn't feel sick. I lost a lot of hair, I was MORE depressed than I was when I was 'fatter'.
I never had surgery to become thin, like most people. I had surgery because I didn't want to die like my dear Adam did. I also wanted children. By 2010 I was married to my rebound. Yes how messed up is that? I didn't want to be alone etc... We'd got married in 2009.

By September, he'd got jealous and annoying. I went out to a fiends birthday party on 20th October 2010 and when I came home, there was a note saying he'd had enough. What he actually meant was "Your not fat and I don't want you anymore". This was alien to me, I thought men wanted thinner women? Well... Looks like I can't win!!!

So with that I threw myself into losing more weight and got down to 17st 8lbs by Xmas of 2010. In December of that year I also met my now partner Jamie... Who's a lovely fella. My weight stalled at 17st 8lbs... Until June 2011. My miracle year. I found out a year tomorrow, that I was carrying a baby... I'd always wanted children and there was no way at 33st+ I'd have got that.

Korben was born on the 21st Feb this year by C-Section. Because of the heart attack we didn't want to risk the extra strain labour puts onto you. He's my sunshine. I can't believe I finally have the one thing I always wanted. I don't even care that I shot up to about 20 stone... but your the only one that knows that until I start my challenge on the 1st July. (I have a group, I'll invite if you wish x)

I thought that when I started this journey I would never get down to what I weighed when I was younger. I was wrong. Even with the 20st I needed to lose, I cried alot, I denied it would work etc - and thats BEFORE any surgery.

There's part of you that probably thinks "Yeah but she's had her stomach made smaller - that'll be easy!" But no, chocolate and sweets go down a lot easier than food. I still eat loads of it and it's wrong. Your brain still tells you that you should. Damned brain.

For those of you doing any sort of weightloss... YOU have the power. YOU control your future and your mouth... I wish you all the best and I'm here for each and every one of you. xxx