Really Bad Day - 4th of July

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Dorkaleena
Dorkaleena Posts: 59
in Motivation and Support
Ugh. Yesterday was a disaster. It was my sons 12th birthday. He wasn't here. He was with his Dad in Oklahoma. It made me very sad and needy. My husband, because he's not terribly good at picking up emotional clues, didn't get it at all. Even after my telling him I was having a hard time with it. (I told him "I'm taking it worse than when he's not here for Christmas.") He spent his day off messing about on the computer downstairs.

We got into a huge argument last night about it. I have an issue with having to ask for his time and attention. It's not the first time it's come up. He feels like I wasn't explicit enough about my "emotional needs".

It was a really bad day... and I ate like crap. I didn't even do my diary until today. I just couldn't face it.

Bleh.

Starting fresh today, but I'm so annoyed with myself for yesterday. I'm not beating myself up over it. I just know I could have and SHOULD have handled it better. Meh.

Replies

  • Ocarina
    Ocarina Posts: 1,550 Member
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    lol All good. I got in a disagreement with my husband yesterday because he's using my shampoo, razor, AND soap because he's apparently been too lazy to grab his. He thought it didn't matter if we share but I was like, "NOOOOOOOOOOOOO."

    Ended up just staying in and playing video games. Wasn't a horrible day off but still... not the greatest July 4th I've had lol
  • ilovemybuggy
    ilovemybuggy Posts: 1,584 Member
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    So sorry to hear that! When you feel like you have no one for support- you can always turn to us :) that's what we're here for! :smile: And don't feel too bad, yesterday with it being a holiday, i'm sure was a bad day for pretty much EVERYONE. I know it was for me!
  • faithchange
    faithchange Posts: 311 Member
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    I made smarter choices than I would've yesterday in a normal day of eating before MFP. However, I still ate too much as the scale is telling me today. UGH! I know it's water retention and such, although I drank like 12 glasses at tleast....yesterday...I still ate too much! Today is a new day. Don't beat yourself up, as I shouldn't beat myself up too!
  • Josie_lifting_cats
    Josie_lifting_cats Posts: 949 Member
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    I think a lot of people ate like crap yesterday. Me included. And after having been at this for a while, I can assure you of one thing -

    If you get back on track today, it will not affect you in any way long term.

    That's all it comes down to! It's quite relieving to think of it that way, and it is true. The scale may say otherwise for a day or two, but in less than a week the scale will say what it did yesterday morning, and you'll be okay. So the eating part is really no big deal. You'll be okay.

    Sorry you had a crummy day. My allergies were awful. I spent the entire day inside until evening, and then I had to haul a box of Kleenex out with me. I managed to get to play with my camera outside for a bit before the non-stop sneezing began. So it wasn't the best 4th for me, either. I understand!
  • kirstenmaria
    kirstenmaria Posts: 112 Member
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    Potato salad should be outlawed. I was under my calorie goal, but gained. :( Today's lunch includes 1/3 of a cucumber...because I read on the livestrong site that cucumbers help get rid of water weight.
  • MonicaT1972
    MonicaT1972 Posts: 512
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    Yup, all you can do it write it off, leave it in the past and start fresh today.

    If you hang onto it and beat yourself up over it you are setting yourself up to fail.

    Today's a new day and today you will succeed!!!
  • Stacy7218
    Stacy7218 Posts: 10 Member
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    As the above poster said, I think everyone ate pretty badly yesterday. You can see my diary and see how bad I was! :) But i plan to get right back on track, eat well today, and get my workout in at the gym later tonight.

    While some may say that you should remain disciplined every day, I think that you're allowed to have a few bad days every once in a while. Keep your chin up! It will get better! :)
  • MooMooooo
    MooMooooo Posts: 306 Member
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    Dorkaleena - I love your name!

    Hugs and kisses from me, we all have bad food days, and bad husband days.

    Chin up!

    Tomorrow is a new day! :D
  • turdly1974
    turdly1974 Posts: 1
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    From the male perspective - we're idiots. We don't pick up on the nonverbals, etc.

    As far as the eating goes, the 4th is one of those days (Thanksgiving, Christmas, etc) where there is just too much food around. I went for a run yesterday and all I could smell were cookouts! I just wanted to pig out on burgers and hot dogs.

    Glad you are not beating yourself up, just start fresh and get back at it!
  • patchesgizmo
    patchesgizmo Posts: 244 Member
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    Sadness, my ex never took the kids for anything unless I shipped them to him. So I was a full time on single mom all the time. I had the other end of the stick in that my kids took out their anger with their father on me for forgotten birthdays etc.

    Just take yesterday as a holiday away from thinking about health, and today you are back on the wagon moving forward. Wash it away with your morning shower.

    Today is a new day and a fresh start.
  • carloubrew
    carloubrew Posts: 20 Member
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    Yesterday was aweful for me as for eating and being kind to my boyfriend. He is a slob most of the time and yesterday it got all over me. He ate from the time he got over until he left. Well, that made me mad and I ate too. I did not eat a lot of different food, but I made a meal of Ben and Jerry Greek Frozen yogurt which put me over 950+ calories for yesterday.

    So with that being said...Today is a new day and I have a new attitude.

    You are just fine. We all have days of "who cares". The good thing is you recognized it and are now looking to make up for it.

    Good luck and I am here if you need me.
  • lg3703
    lg3703 Posts: 190
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    I'm not being mean when I say "men are clueless". They ARE. They operate on a different wavelength. They're analytical and straight forward and we expect them to be emotional and sensitive to tiny cues. JUST SAY WHAT YOU NEED. They really DO want to give you what you need! =] don't be shy- just tell him.
  • arathena720
    arathena720 Posts: 449 Member
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    I think tons of people had rough days yesterday. I exceeded my calorie limit by a couple hundred. But, hey, call it a cheat day, stay off the scale for a few days and just write it off! I've done a good bit of dating, and I have to say that in my experience men can't pick up on those emotional cues. Even when they do, they don't know what to do with them. So, hugs to you, stay on track, give your sweetie a kiss and just keep on truckin', because at the end of the day, it's all going to be O-KAY! :laugh:
  • Dorkaleena
    Dorkaleena Posts: 59
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    Thanks everyone. I just needed to vent all that out. I tend to sit and stew if I don't get it out of my system. LOL Dangerous for an emotional eater!
  • DeeVanderbles
    DeeVanderbles Posts: 589 Member
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    Yesterday wasn't terrible for me but Saturday will be. Saturday is my family's annual 4th of July party. But one of the good things about MFP and counting calories is that even if we DO go over our goals, most likely we're still making better food decisions than we would have otherwise.

    Even though you didn't want to face it and you entered it late, you still entered your food for yesterday, which is definitely a positive.

    Today is a new day. If you fall off the wagon, just get back on. :flowerforyou:
  • nascarted10
    nascarted10 Posts: 300 Member
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    Again from a males perspective, I don't think we are idiots. That could not be farther from the truth. However, what we as males care about are very different things than females in a lot of cases. (The Mars and Venus thing). That said, I believe males tend to process things themselves, work through things themselves and don't rely on others very well. (That is far from being an idiot).
    So when females are having a "bad emotional day", it is our thought that we ought to leave you alone and let you work your way through it. (That is what we would want). Okay, so each day is another day and the one we left is gone. Get back on the calory counting and make it happen. I (we) didn't get here over night so getting to the place we want is not over night either.
  • rpounds1957
    rpounds1957 Posts: 177 Member
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    Again from a males perspective, I don't think we are idiots. That could not be farther from the truth. However, what we as males care about are very different things than females in a lot of cases. (The Mars and Venus thing). That said, I believe males tend to process things themselves, work through things themselves and don't rely on others very well. (That is far from being an idiot).
    So when females are having a "bad emotional day", it is our thought that we ought to leave you alone and let you work your way through it. (That is what we would want). Okay, so each day is another day and the one we left is gone. Get back on the calory counting and make it happen. I (we) didn't get here over night so getting to the place we want is not over night either.

    Great post. And I would add, women shouldn't try to use their husbands/boyfriends in the same way they use their girlfriends. The fellow's eyes are going to glaze over as soon as you start going on and on about your feelings. That's what your girlfriends are for and they are much more suited to that task than is most any man.
  • jmcdaniel0
    jmcdaniel0 Posts: 130 Member
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    I'm not being mean when I say "men are clueless". They ARE. They operate on a different wavelength. They're analytical and straight forward and we expect them to be emotional and sensitive to tiny cues. JUST SAY WHAT YOU NEED. They really DO want to give you what you need! =] don't be shy- just tell him.

    MY GOD SHE GETS IT!!!!! just say what you want, would that be too hard!?

    On a more serious note.. Sorry to hear about your bad day... As for the food, meh it happens.! I had Funnel Cake!!!! and I loved every deep fried sugary bite!
  • Dorkaleena
    Dorkaleena Posts: 59
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    Again from a males perspective, I don't think we are idiots. That could not be farther from the truth. However, what we as males care about are very different things than females in a lot of cases. (The Mars and Venus thing). That said, I believe males tend to process things themselves, work through things themselves and don't rely on others very well. (That is far from being an idiot).
    So when females are having a "bad emotional day", it is our thought that we ought to leave you alone and let you work your way through it. (That is what we would want). Okay, so each day is another day and the one we left is gone. Get back on the calory counting and make it happen. I (we) didn't get here over night so getting to the place we want is not over night either.

    Great post. And I would add, women shouldn't try to use their husbands/boyfriends in the same way they use their girlfriends. The fellow's eyes are going to glaze over as soon as you start going on and on about your feelings. That's what your girlfriends are for and they are much more suited to that task than is most any man.

    All good points. I wasn't trying to use him the same way I would a girlfriend though. I just wanted some company so I be distracted from the lack of my kiddo on his birthday. That was it. *shrug* We had it out about it. I got overly emotional at THAT point because when I'm mad or frustrated I cry. (WHICH I HATE, but can't seem to control.) We worked it out. I know not to expect him to pick up on that sort of thing and he knows to try a bit harder to notice stuff like that. I'm SURE it'll happen again because of who each of us is. LOL I can handle it though.

    Sometimes you just have to vent things out to help you see them more clearly. :D

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