My NSV... kind of :/ (Gym anxiety)

So I had an NSV I was really proud of, but then it got ruined a bit. I'm still proud though! Sorry this will be a long story.

Ever since I've started working out, I've had really bad "gym anxiety." That is, I absolutely could NOT go to the gym if other people were there. I couldn't work out in front of others, except for my best friend or my boyfriend. I was just so afraid I'd look stupid trying to figure out how to use the machines or trying out a new move with free weights for the first time. I invested in adjustable dumbbells and workout DVDs so I could work out at home.

Well, I started lifting and lo and behold, my adjustable dumbbells just aren't heavy enough any more. I realized that if I wanted to continue lifting (which I did, I LOVE lifting), I'd have to go to *gasp* the gym! We have a tiny gym at my apartment complex and that's one of the reasons it's so intimidating... if even one other person is there, it feels crowded. So the first few times I walked up there, if someone was in there I went running or something instead and didn't go to the gym until it was empty.

Well the other day, I was walking up to the gym to lift, and I was feeling really pumped about lifting. I walked up and saw through the window that there was a girl in there on the treadmill. I started to turn around, but a voice in my head said, "No. I want to lift NOW." I physically forced myself to turn back around, walk into the gym, and work out. It went great! She didn't even pay me any attention. I felt so proud, and that's the NSV part.

So then last night the same thing happened, except it was two guys in the gym, both on treadmills. When I saw them through the window I decided to go running first, but I promised myself I'd go to the gym when I got back whether they were gone or not. When I got back one guy was still there but he was walking so I figured he was cooling down about to leave. I took a deep breath, went inside, and walked straight over to the chest press machine (which I'd never used). I just turned my music up, ignored the dude, and started working out. The story is still an NSV at this point, wooh!

Well, the dude started doing intervals on the treadmill, for like, a long time. I used a few different machines while he was on there. I kept waiting for him to leave, and finally he got off the treadmill and walked to the door. I got excited. He walked up to the door, actually put his hand on the knob, then turned around and came back inside the gym. He walked over to the ab crunch machine and just sat on it. I tried to ignore him, but when I looked up he was staring at me. I was using the chest fly machine at that time. He would do a couple of reps, then "rest" for a while, staring at me the entire time. (Keep in mind it's 9pm, dark out, I'm a 21 year old girl and he looked to be about 30, and was big.) I started to feel creeped out, but tried to ignore him. But it was obvious he was too exhausted from the treadmill to work out any more, so why was he still there? I moved on from the machine and went over to free weights. I laid on the bench and started doing a different exercise. Out of the corner of my eye I saw him get off the ab crunch machine, and walk back over to... the treadmill! (The treadmill was positioned right behind the bench I was on). Now I was really creeped out because I knew there was NO WAY he'd run on the treadmill again. Sure enough, I felt him just stand there for a minute watching me. I tried to ignore it because I didn't know what else to do. I didn't want to get up because I'd have to walk right by him to get to the door. FINALLY, after a couple minutes of staring at me he turned around and left.

Needless to say I was really freaked out and when I walked out of the gym I was very paranoid that he'd be somewhere outside. I walked back to my apartment so quickly, phone in my hand.

Now I know it could have been totally innocent... maybe he wanted to talk to me and was just hoping I'd finish up and take my headphones off, or maybe he even wanted to help me out with form or something... but I just got a bad vibe. It pretty much reaffirmed my gym anxiety and now I don't know if I'll be able to go again, at least at night. But that sucks because often night is the only time I CAN go. Maybe this is really paranoid of me but I think I'll start taking my pepper spray with me from now on.

Sooo... anyone else have gym anxiety stories? Sorry that was so long.