First Deployment Fears (Navy)

SaraBelle0312 · July 2012

I am newlywed to a Navy Sailor, E4, married almost 4 months & been friends forever. Our first deployment is coming up and I am incredibly nervous and really upset. He is leaving for 7 months in Oct, as well as our roommate. Josh, my husband, is my workout buddy, my best friend, just everything to me. When he is underway at sea, I never think to eat or workout. I just get SO lonely and don't do anything. But I have a goal I am working on reaching for when he gets back. Is there any advice ya'll can give? I'd appreciate it very much.
-Sara-

mycrazy8splus1 · July 2012

Sounds familiar! My hubby used to call me from deployments (when he was able) to check in that I had been eating. I would also stop eating when he was gone. Sometimes without even thinking about it. When their is no one else to cook for and eat with you forget that you haven't eaten as well. My husband was in the Army for 14 years. We wnet through MANY deployments. If you need a friend feel free to talk with me. I don't know how to add friends but I will try to add you or you can add me. Thank your husband for his service for me.

SaraBelle0312 · July 2012

Yeah, that is my problem. I am so nervous. I don't want to get sick, but I am worried. It's only him nagging at me about him being hungry that makes me eat. I don't have an ED, I just get so lonely and have no appetite or desire to cook.

Renae_Nae · July 2012

I did a 12 month deployment with my ex husband (Army). I remember the hell of deployments.

Make a list of things you want to accomplish each period of time (I used pay periods). Reward yourself for eating enough (pedi's, mani's, girls day out). If you are having a hard time find a friend who's husband is gone to and plan to have dinners at least a couple times a week together so you're not eating alone. I found pasta with different types of sauces was my favorite because it was so easy and didn't go bad before I could actually finish them.

Remember, in a few months he'll be on his way home and you'll want to look hot in that homecoming dress! Start planning that now!

christyd4 · July 2012

I remember those days well! I agree with the poster that said make a list, keep yourself busy it will make time go by faster. if need be set a reminder on your phone (if you can) to eat and to workout. Feel free to add me if you like

SaraBelle0312 · July 2012

Thanks, he leaves for Africa in Oct & will be home May. I just hope I can stay healthy...The rewards is a really good idea. I never thought of that.

jpaw1002 · July 2012

Well good news is u found me to be here for you for when he can't be!! I got your back!!!! We'll get through it! I promise! you have my number if u need anything EVER call me!!!

secretlobster · July 2012

This is what MFP friends are for!!

Sox90716 · July 2012

Thanks to you and your husband for your service and sacrifice.

PANZERIA · July 2012

Hey there dear.

I'm not a navy wife, but I am an RCMP wife...and we go through the same experience. They talked to you about 'Deployment Syndrome' right?

Make sure that, if you start feeling depressed, you get yourself to a therapist. My hubby had to go away for 6 months for training, and then he got moved to the middle of nowhere in Canada.

Start getting back in touch with girlfriends, family members, etc. Maybe even look into getting a room mate for the time that he is gone. A friend of mine is an army wife and she did just that. It really helped her to have someone else in the house.

LindaCWy · July 2012

Whenever my husband talks about joining the army I wag my finger. If I were in your position, him being away would be go time for me, list your goals and try to get as hot as possible for the next time you see him. You'll have more stamina for when he returns and you....ahem... re-unite.

MrsPong · July 2012

Hello.
My husband is marine corps we went through a few deployments already, hes been in 8 years and still active now... been married 3 years together over 4. He was in Iraq when our daughter was born, and was just in Japan for a year and home now for 5 months.

I found I had more motiviation to lose weight while he was gone because I didnt feel like I was taking time away from him by going to the gym, I didnt have to cook him my "low calorie" food, and i wanted to look good when he came home.

At first it will be a little weird having him gone, but you will adjust. It takes time to get used to it. you can add me for weight support and deployment support.

RoseAmongThorns91 · July 2012

It'll be difficult but you'll get through it. I am in a similar situation. My husband is an E2 and I am an E4 (newly frocked but not payed yet) and we're stationed in two separate places. It's hard for me to workout when we're in two different places but I workout with people from work. I am here if you wanna be friends and talk.

Dawnhasajeep · July 2012

Flip it around and use it as motivation!
My husband travils all the time for work and was in Israel for 6 months. I got myself an outfit to welcome him home in that was too small for me. I had it hanging in the bedroom where I could see it. Because of the time change communication was difficult and it meant I had a lot of down time at night. I would use that time to go to the gym or pool and workout. I used the time apart as motivation I really wanted to surprise him when he got back with the NEW me.
Good luck to you both! Thank him for his service!

Ladywindchaser · July 2012

Oh honey, I feel your pain. I was a Navy Wife for 26 yrs. My Hubby is now retired from the Navy. So I have many, many, many deployments under my rear end. We married he left 2 weeks later. He has missed so many Christmas's, Birthday's, Easter and yes everything else.

Listen I am gonna sound harsh but I do not mean to. My Mother In Law a retired Wife & active Duty herself, said to me when I complained about my Hubby leaving. She said; "Have yourself a good cry, one hell of a ***** session with yourself (only), then get over it!" I thought she was horrible for being so tuff on me. But she was right. I had to make my own life. Which I did. I worked on my College Education, got a job, joined the Wives Clubs and had a blast. It sure made my alone time a lot easier to bear.

Please do not put your pain of being alone on your Hubby. He is gonna have it hard enough being away from you. He must know that you are tuff and strong (even if you are not) so that he can focus on his job. Save your pennies and when they are inport somewhere join him! If I can help you just friend me.

Go to the Base Gym and get some girl friends (other Wives) to work out with you. This is your time for you and you alone. You can do this Lady!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

SaraBelle0312 · July 2012

:blushing: Thanks ya'll. I am going back to school and hopefully volunteering somewhere to fill all that extra time.

I had to make my own life. Which I did.

I know you are right, especially about not stressing him out. I feel bad whenever I think about it bc he sees and gets upset.

Flip it around and use it as motivation!

That is a good idea. I will definitely try.

SaraBelle0312 · July 2012

They talked to you about 'Deployment Syndrome' right?

I've never heard of that. Is it just depression?

This is what MFP friends are for!!

Thank you ^^

Well good news is u found me to be here for you for when he can't be!! I got your back!!!! We'll get through it! I promise!

thank you! You're the best!

jpaw1002 · July 2012

Well good news is u found me to be here for you for when he can't be!! I got your back!!!! We'll get through it! I promise!

thank you! You're the best!
[/quote]

i try!!!

PANZERIA · July 2012

It's not depression. It's an actual syndrome. Up here in Canada, they do family seminars for the families of army/navy officers who are being deployed just for this reason.

Google "Deployment Syndrome" and, hopefully, something will come up. It'll help.

laurennburcham · August 2012

im on the opposite side of the road. i just found out that when i switch duty stations im deploying with my ship.

First Deployment Fears (Navy)

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