Not feeling good about myself at all :(

paticksmama07
paticksmama07 Posts: 49 Member
in Motivation and Support
I have image issues and I have had them since I was 14 years old. I have been on a diet since I was 12. It has put me in chronic depression. Over the hears I have been a size 2-12. This past weekend my girlfriend whom has always been overweight recently lost 40 lobs in 8 months. I am beside myself with jealous and this usually not my attitude at all. I am not an envious person. I am trying my hardest may not like appear to all the dynamos who are able to log in everyday all day but I have responsibilities, a huge home, no housekeeper, a german shepherd and 3 aand 4 year old boys.

I workout with weights with the boys in my weights sometimes in years because by societies standard women MUST HAVE IT ALL AND BE IT ALL! Especially in this day and age. They are already criticizing Jessica Simpson for not bouncing back to her post-baby body after what 6-7 weeks. It's disgusting.

I gave many dresses to my friend that I hoped I would eventually fit into because I felt that hopeless. I am fighting the hardest fight in my life and today I am truly depressed. I may take a walk for forty-five minutes later with my dog to clear my head but please tell me I'm not alone....I feel so alone in this journey. I have come back to the boards several times. I root for myself none of my friends do I guess they see this is lack of committment...it is life. I am not a bowl full of excuses! I don't have a nanny, I can't afford a gym and my boys no longer fit in their strollers. I know tomorrow is a new day. I will workout, drink tons of water and forgive myself. I am my own worst enemy. I look ab people like Jennifer Hudson, Jennifer Lopez and recently Beyonce' Knowles and I feel like a total failure despite my numbers. Today is not a good day....

Replies

  • _AllieCat_
    _AllieCat_ Posts: 515 Member
    First I have to say that you're absolutely beautiful and have nothing to worry about concerning your looks. We all have out days and today is just a bad one, or a string of bad days...

    I also struggle with depression and I know what you're going through. At least your actively doing something about your weight, and not sitting by getting sadder and sadder about it. You've already lost 11 pounds!

    I hope you start feeling better soon sweetpea.
  • Dayna5K
    Dayna5K Posts: 136 Member
    Your absolutely right! Our society encourages us to value women on the basis of our superficial attributes. Don't believe the hype!! We are all so much more than this!

    Stay strong and keep your head up :-)
  • senyosmom
    senyosmom Posts: 613 Member
    I know how you feel and am in the boat with you! My sister - whom I love to death and am soooooo proud of - has recently lost 40 lbs. She is 6 years older than me but we are the same height and had always been the same build. I am so happy for her --- but somehow her accomplishment makes me feel even more like a failure at this. I'm so jealous of her - but would never tell her because I want there to be nothing negative for her at all at what she has accomplished. I am so happy for her.... but so dissapointed in myself.
  • bjpfight
    bjpfight Posts: 4
    don't feel alone, because your not. Our situations and circumstances are different but I echo your feelings of depression and self loathing when I feel like I'm the only overweight person around.

    Don't listen to the media or magazines about how you should look. Your a beautiful mother and woman and need to give yourself a break. Take it one day at a time and make what ever time you can- whether it's 15 minutes a day or 1 hr. You need to put yourself first at least once a day so you can be successful.

    Good luck

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