Welp, it's done.

sgtinvincible
sgtinvincible Posts: 2,559
edited September 18 in Health and Weight Loss
I just returned from the closing. I am no longer a home owner, and I am a pittance richer (it really is a pittance also, but every bit helps). It's one of the last vestiges of a horrible year and a devestating divorce, and now it's gone.

So why am I about to cry?

I should be doing my happy dance, but instead I am just sitting here with tears in my eyes. I suppose I am just mourning the passing of a chapter in my life. Don't get me wrong, I am glad that it's over...but that house meant so much to me. So much potential...I meant to live there forever, to raise my children and ugly pugs there. To love my wife with all of my heart there....but it wasn't meant to be. Life doesn't always turn out the way you plan I guess.

So goodbye little house in Vilas North Carolina. I loved you, just as I loved my family. Now you both are gone, and I am starting over. I will miss you. I already do.

Replies

  • sgtinvincible
    sgtinvincible Posts: 2,559
    I just returned from the closing. I am no longer a home owner, and I am a pittance richer (it really is a pittance also, but every bit helps). It's one of the last vestiges of a horrible year and a devestating divorce, and now it's gone.

    So why am I about to cry?

    I should be doing my happy dance, but instead I am just sitting here with tears in my eyes. I suppose I am just mourning the passing of a chapter in my life. Don't get me wrong, I am glad that it's over...but that house meant so much to me. So much potential...I meant to live there forever, to raise my children and ugly pugs there. To love my wife with all of my heart there....but it wasn't meant to be. Life doesn't always turn out the way you plan I guess.

    So goodbye little house in Vilas North Carolina. I loved you, just as I loved my family. Now you both are gone, and I am starting over. I will miss you. I already do.
  • MontanaGirl
    MontanaGirl Posts: 1,251 Member
    Awww, Sarge. Here's a tissue *hands one over* I understand. Take it easy tonight - sometimes the backlash just hits us out of not where! It was a big step and definately a "closure" kind of thing. That is always emotional. You'll be back to your old self soon - remember we are here for you!

    Kim
  • opatt23
    opatt23 Posts: 90
    I have not posted in quite a while and we've not "officially" met, however I just wanted to say Keep your head up. All things happen for a reason and it will only make you stronger.

    I wish you lots of luck. :flowerforyou:
  • cheermom11
    cheermom11 Posts: 393 Member
    You're in my prayers Sarge. For what it's worth, we're glad you added MFP to the latest chapter in your life. We look forward to your humor and encouraging words.
  • amandagreen1980
    amandagreen1980 Posts: 286 Member
    I am sorry you are sad. :cry:

    We put our all into our homes, all our hopes and dreams and it is really hard to let all that go with the passing of keys.

    You are right, it just wasn't meant to be, you are a good and loving person and you deserve someone who will love you with all their heart. And that day will come. :heart:

    Hugs
    Amanda
  • kerikitkat
    kerikitkat Posts: 352 Member
    :ohwell: Wish I could cheer you up.
  • sawtoothtye
    sawtoothtye Posts: 14
    Sometimes, you don't realize you tie up all your emotions in one event. I am sorry you have to say goodbye to your old life. But here is to a happy, healthy and loving future for you!! What ever will be, will be.
  • twin2
    twin2 Posts: 404
    I am so sorry!!!! My heart goes out to you :heart: This is starting a new chapter in your life, a chance to do things different so you will be happy. You are a good guy and you need happiness! Just know that you are in my thoughts and prayers:flowerforyou:
  • ali106
    ali106 Posts: 3,754 Member
    (((((((((((:heart: J:heart: )))))))))))))))) :cry: ugh you're gonna make me cry boy!!!

    I'm so very sorry hon, and I can totally relate to things not turning out the way we invision.:frown: ...

    but a wise young man once told me and I quote....well okay I can't quote cuz I have a horrible memory but let me paraphrase for ya .....lol.....maybe feeling like this is making us who we are....the good and the bad....keeping us in tune w/ our emotions an all....then he said something about puttin on the ritz...idk...anyway....the point is...YOU, young jedi are just paving the way for some greatest kiddo.

    So go w/ your emotional rollercoaster enjoy the ups and downs...just make sure you get on that ride again boy!!!

    offering big sappy hugs to you my dear friend!:flowerforyou:
    Ali
  • iojoi
    iojoi Posts: 378 Member
    I am sorry that you are feeling so sad but its understandable I would be bereaft too in the same situation for the very same reasons..
    i hope you have a healthy and happy new, and exciting chapter ahead of you :flowerforyou:
  • wannaloseit
    wannaloseit Posts: 31
    Wow, that sounds so familiar! I went through a horrible divorce as well and the house was sold, so I understand your sadness. I cried more the day the house sold than I did the day the divorce was final. They say home is where the heart is and it couldn't have been more true in my case. The worst part is I live 8 blocks from that house now and drive by from time to time and it has gone downhill....fast. At least you came out with a little pocket change! Be thankful for that. The rest gets easier....it just takes time.

    Good luck to you!!
  • cinandchris
    cinandchris Posts: 229 Member
    I'm sorry that you are sad. I have been there and it sucks. But you are already starting on a new journey. And you cannot even imagine all the great things ahead of you. I've read before that the one that makes you cry does not deserve you. And the one that does will never make you cry. I pray for much happiness for you :flowerforyou:
  • lotusfromthemud
    lotusfromthemud Posts: 5,335 Member
    It's probably the finality of it all. Now it's time to grieve.

    Later, you'll find all kinds of reasons for your happy dance. :flowerforyou:
  • TamTastic
    TamTastic Posts: 19,224 Member
    Hey Sarge!

    I don't know what to say to help you feel better. I can only imagine how it feels to say goodbye to that chapter of your life. It has to be very bittersweet. I guess just try to focus on the future and the open book you have to fill. It's a fresh start. Take care!!

    Hugs!
    Tami
  • wtchywmn
    wtchywmn Posts: 193
    Sorry for your loss. Remember when one door closes another one opens. I wish you all the best and know you will find happiness when you least expect it.:flowerforyou:
  • arubabound
    arubabound Posts: 51
    wish I could just give you a big hug and have all the right things to say that would take the pain away....head up...tommorows another day with endless possibilities. Like for instance you could win lotto, or find a hundred dollar bill in the street, maybe a traveling circus will break down in your driveway and you'll spend the whole day laughing and carrying on with clowns and trapeze artists! New day, new start...I'll be thinking of you....where did I put my tutu???:flowerforyou:
  • cathymalone
    cathymalone Posts: 9
    My divorce was final 3 years ago today and its still hard. So much change but it does get easier! Lean on those that love you and do something for yourself each and every day and you will move on! Before you know it, it will be just another chapter in your life!
  • mommared53
    mommared53 Posts: 9,543 Member
    I'm so sorry. I'm about to cry myself. I just want to wish you all the luck in the world as you go forward. You just hang in there and lean on your friends here on MFP any time you need to. When you need to cry, we'll cry with you and when you can laugh and be happy, we'll laugh and be happy with you. Hang in there friend. :cry: :flowerforyou:
  • cp005e
    cp005e Posts: 1,495 Member
    My heart goes out to you, Sarge! :heart:

    I think what you're feeling is very natural under the circumstances. It sounds like the house was sort of the last step to putting that painful period of your life behind you. But the house also acted as a physical symbol of what's been lost, so finally saying goodbye to it is part of finally saying goodbye to your marriage and the dreams associated with it. :cry: Grieving is normal, and necessary.

    But I have a feeling that in a few days, you will find yourself feeling a whole lot lighter. It's over, you don't have to carry that weight around your neck any more, and now you can move on to the next joyous chapter in your life. :flowerforyou:
  • ali106
    ali106 Posts: 3,754 Member
    Just checking up on ya....take your time....just know we're here!:flowerforyou:

    hugs!!!
    Ali
  • Shannon023
    Shannon023 Posts: 14,529 Member
    Oh Sarge. :brokenheart:

    I'm so sorry for what you're going through. Hope it helps that you have a lot of friends here that will be a shoulder for you. (Look at the responses, you have a harem! :wink: )

    Don't rush through your sadness, smile when you don't feel like it and enjoy your new neighborhood.

    We're here for ya, bud! :flowerforyou:
  • kimber607
    kimber607 Posts: 7,128 Member
    No advice but I can offer support and ((HUGS))

    Kim
  • lina1131
    lina1131 Posts: 2,246 Member
    Sgt, you are one hell of a man and i'm confident good things are going to happen for you. Chin up my friend, it is all for the better! ((hugs))
  • GravyGurl
    GravyGurl Posts: 1,070
    I've been there where you are at this moment... was almost 2 yrs ago and I couldn't let go and move on... but it helped to write my feelings about how I was feeling on my other blog site. I would just post the link but I don't know if you would be able to read it on my blog site or not if you don't belong to it... I've copied it here so that you can read it. I hope that it will help in some way.

    We’ve all been disappointed at some time in our lives. We’ve been misled, purposely or unconsciously. We have all stood staring in disbelief at the remains of discarded promises that were made but never kept. The struggle to begin again is a real one when you don’t know where to drop your anchor.

    The heart has a million questions, each one defying your desire to continue on. Love again? Forget it! Why try again? Why believe again when it’s been proven you have no guarantees? Why risk your heart’s safety once more? Yet it is in daring to leap out in faith that the things we desire are gained.

    Where to put our trust becomes the great question. How do we know that we will heal? Live? Love again? Finally be loved in return, the way we’ve always wanted to be loved?

    LETTING GO TAKES LOVE

    To let go does not mean to stop caring,
    it means I can't do it for someone else.
    To let go is not to cut myself off,
    it's the realization it didn't work for us.

    To let go is to admit powerlessness, which means
    the outcome is not in my hands.
    To let go is not to try to change or blame another,
    it's to make the most of ourselves.

    To let go is not to care for,
    but to care about.
    To let go is not to fix,
    but to be supportive.
    To let go is not to judge,
    but to allow another to be a human being.


    To let go is not to be in the middle arranging all the outcomes,
    but to allow others to affect their destinies.
    To let go is not to be protective,
    it's to permit another to face reality.
    To let go is not to deny,
    but to accept.


    To let go is not to hurt the other with intent.
    but instead to search out my own shortcomings and correct them.


    To let go is not to adjust everything to my desires,
    but to take each day as it comes and cherish myself in it.
    To let go is not to criticize or regulate anybody,
    but to try to become what I dream I can be.
    To let go is not to regret the past,
    but to grow and live for the future.

    To let go is to fear less and love more



    Hope this finds you feeling better today :flowerforyou:
  • icandoit
    icandoit Posts: 4,163 Member
    I am happy that the house has finally sold. I am sorry for your sadness.
    Here is to a new beginning. A life of happiness. Here is to starting new memories with you son and your ugly pugs. (by the way, pugs are so cute-ours was dog napped)
    Here is to you:drinker:
    Hold on to the good memories and let go of the bad. Start wonderful new memories.
  • chriss1tt
    chriss1tt Posts: 365 Member
    Hey Sarge. I am so sorry.:cry: All things happen for a reason and I believe great things are gonna happen for you.:flowerforyou: You are in my prayers. We are here for you like you always are for us.
  • 5KNohno
    5KNohno Posts: 503
    Houses seem to have an uncanny way of attaching themselves to our hearts. When my husband first went into the military and we were waiting on base housing we lived in this horrible little apartment complete with screaming neighbors and the works. When our beautiful, spacious military housing became available I didn't want to leave - the apartment in its tiny, dingy way it had become home. But move we did and it became home, then we moved again and again and again and again - and each time we found home. You will too. The old house may be gone, but you still have your faith in God, your dreams even if they are a bit dinged up, you still have the pugs - what "ugly" cuties!, and you have all of us.:smile:
  • cinandchris
    cinandchris Posts: 229 Member
    Yep, you definitely have all of us :flowerforyou:
  • beep
    beep Posts: 1,242 Member
    :brokenheart: I am praying for your peace and comfort at a very difficult time. Being of a Navy family, I've let a few houses go, and with a tad of sadness, the houses my children were born in are long gone; but what you're having to do is much more difficult. Go with God, He'll get you there.
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