im banishing my insecurities.

madelonism
madelonism Posts: 292 Member
in Motivation and Support
It almost seems like I am more insecure after losing 60 pounds sometimes. Im so completely taken aback when men show interest in me. feel a dark cloud in the mirror or on the scale. but I need to stop and think about how far I have come, and how very different I look, and how different I carry myself. I sometimes find myself thinking I look like this:

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I was this way for so long. and now looking back Im surprised I somehow remained happy. but now that my delusions are broken I know if I went back to 310 pounds I couldn't keep up the snarky charming demeanor I did and still do!

so heres the deal. Im still morbidly obese. I know this all too well. but yesterday I said to hell with it and tried on a bikini top. honestly, though I wouldnt be CAUGHT DEAD in public with it on, I didnt think it was so bad. it made me smile. because I can see that I have come a long way.

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basically, I realize Im proud of myself. anyone who lost any amount of weight should be. even if you're still fat, who gives a crap? Im here with you. and we can become healthy. show everyone who ridiculed us what for. Im banishing my insecurities one day at a time. see yourself in positive light. everyone here is making a life saving change, and I love you all for that.

have a wonderful day, mfp.

Replies

  • madelonism
    madelonism Posts: 292 Member
    hmm. bump. I put thought into this post so people need to see it! lol
  • warriorsdontbitch
    warriorsdontbitch Posts: 130 Member
    Thanks for sharing. I really needed to read this . I was feeling really depressed over my body fat count. But I've come to realize that it is just time for me to reevaluate my goals.
  • madelonism
    madelonism Posts: 292 Member
    Thanks for sharing. I really needed to read this . I was feeling really depressed over my body fat count. But I've come to realize that it is just time for me to reevaluate my goals.

    your welcome :) sometimes you really need to step back at see all you have accomplished.
  • Jenn_10
    Jenn_10 Posts: 83
    just what I needed to hear I feel the same way I still have a long way to go but the more I lose the worse I feel at times and when it comes to getting dressed its a nightmare even though my clothes is starting to feel loose and all that jazz I feel huge in everything but my sweat pants and tea shirts.like you I am banishing my insecurities today and saying the hell to what people think I have come a long way and I am damn proud of myself !!


    btw you look awesome and love the top.
  • tat2oodmonster
    tat2oodmonster Posts: 40
    It is true once you lose weight and people treat you better you realize how vain the world truly can be. But unfortunately we all judge at a first glance basis no matter how humble we believe ourselves to be. I think you look GREAT in the bikini top! I would just keep progressing forward and keep on living your healthy lifestyle. You are doing it for yourself..there is NOTHING wrong with you. You are doing it for your health. You have always been beautiful your body and health is just starting to catch up. I'd kill for your hair and believe me you are worth everything and you always have been. Keep it up. <3
  • trophywife24
    trophywife24 Posts: 1,472 Member
    You have put a lot of effort into your body and it shows! I can relate to your post, especially about being taken back by attention. I just told my husband the other day that it was easier for me to "hide" when I was fat. Hiding is easier than some man with a juggalo tattoo on his neck asking you to marry him, kwim? I don't mind it most of the the time but sometimes it's just.... I don't know, hard. I love your bikini top and your bright red hair. You look awesome. :)
  • madelonism
    madelonism Posts: 292 Member
    @trophywife24 -I understand that feel, however my problem was more desperately trying to be noticed. I did TONS of theater, tried to be helerious, impressed people with my strengths, basically played off everything that WASINT my weight. and I never got the attention I wanted. now, Im still doing what I always did, but now its like HEY FRIEND IS THAT YOUR MOUTH ON MY MOUTH? lol. I have NO CLUE how to deal with it. aaaat all. lol
  • trophywife24
    trophywife24 Posts: 1,472 Member
    I'm a former theatre nerd too (see, I even put the e on the end of theatre, lol), I completely, 150% get that. :)
  • madelonism
    madelonism Posts: 292 Member
    I'm a former theatre nerd too (see, I even put the e on the end of theatre, lol), I completely, 150% get that. :)

    i spell it theatre when I write it out. but the little red squiggle drives me crazy lol
  • Emili03
    Emili03 Posts: 164 Member
    Thanks so much. I often get discouraged because, even though I have lost 50+ lbs, I don't like my body all that much better and am nowhere near wearing a bikini top. Congrats on your sucess and best of luck on your continuing journey!
  • skheather
    skheather Posts: 42 Member
    You look great! and you are so much healthier, just give yourself time to get used to the new you.
  • bleacheblonde
    bleacheblonde Posts: 333
    I agree completely; it's important to celebrate how far you've come even when you're not all the way to your ultimate goal yet and even if other people still don't think you look good. I really hate it when people are judgmental of someone who is overweight because you never know, that person could have just lost a bunch of weight or be in a transition period. As long as you feel good about yourself, keep going and take the time to congratulate yourself on how far you've come instead of focusing on how far you have left to go. I need to work on that with myself too. I really don't look as bad as I usually think :)

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