Birth Mom's or adopted people

When I was 36 I learned I had an older (half) brother. To make a long story short, he had looked up my mom (birth mom) and they had exchanged letters/photos through the adoption agency, but not names/addresses, and they hadn't met in person. It was the year I did my first triathlon, and my parents came to cheer me on. As they were waiting for me at the finish line, they saw my brother come through the finish chute. Yeah, how amazing is that, we both were in the same race... and it wasn't even where either of us lived.

My mom waited about three months before she sat me down and told me, and I said we had to meet him. Well, it's been five years since we met, and it's been a really good thing. My brother and I do races together, he spends holidays with us, and it been very healing for my mother - finding out he was raised by good parents, and that he's a good guy.

Ours was a good story - and everyone involved wanted to establish a relationship. You won't know the medical history unless you search her out. I'd say be upfront about your expectations. The unknown can be scary, however you may find out that she doesn't want a relationship either.

I didn't really have a desire to search for my birth parents until I became a parent myself... I realized there was a much greater bond that I somehow missed out on. I love my parents dearly and never wanted to dishonor them, but it became very important to me. I found my birth mother's family - the adoption records here in my province were opened in 1996 so I got her name, birth date and address at the time of my birth. I found her parents by searching for a birth announcement in the paper when she was born (since I had her birth date)... turns out she took her own life about 12 years ago now. She was 13 when I was born and 36 when she died. I have sort of maintained a relationship with her other daughter (my half sister) and her mom... and I have a bunch of medical info and "what to watch for" stuff... I'm glad I did it.

Unfortunately only my birth mom really knew who my birth father was... her best GF doesn't remember his name. Her high school boyfriend thinks he might have a photo in storage with a name written on the back... I'm tempted to ask him to look for it. I'd like to know who my birth father was too.

No regrets for me...

I was given up for adoption at birth. I found my birth mom and my siblings in 1995. I also spoke once to my birth father.

My birth mother and I have a great relationship. I definitely needed to know where I came from, so it was good closure for me. Plus there are medical issues I'm glad I know about.

PM me if you need to chat.

I was adopted at birth (1967) by loving parents and never had any interest in knowing more about my origins. Through some coincidences that now seem like fate, I contacted the agency that handled my adoption (Catholic Charities) 15 years ago for non-identifying health info. Unbeknownst to me, my Birth Mom made the same call that week for the first time. This led to a year's worth of letters, a phone call and then a meeting. She and my half-siblings (2 sisters and a brother) are now family in every sense of the word. I have also traded emails with my birth father.

Very often, when I call my birth mom or she calls me we have this "I was just thinking about you" moment. It's almost a sixth sense. The size of my family has exploded, turns out I am the oldest of 24 cousins on my Birth Mom's side (yep, Catholics!). I now have 2 sisters after being raised with only brothers. My daughters now have cool aunts!!

Coincidentally, I am writing this from a family reunion for my adoptive family (who raised me) and feel as connected to them as ever.

Individual results may vary, conditions may apply, see store fore details. This is highly condensed and 15 years later. There were times where it turned my life upside down. Feel free to add me and PM with questions. I think I have a balanced view of the process.