Tired of being the cute funny fat friend

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ednawhistle
ednawhistle Posts: 55 Member
in Introduce Yourself
I was super skinny as a kid, then when my teenage years came i gained enough weight so that i didnt look like skeletor. I had boobs a nice *kitten* killer legs (i played soccer daily) even though i was at a healthy weight according to my height, i never really felt beautiful. I know people do this all the time, blaming their parents, but for me it was real. My mother would constantly talk down to me calling me fat and ugly stuff like that, (even though she was the obese one) It was an almost daily thing with her so all that bullying stuck with me. She now "wonders" why i have low self esteem HMMM i wonder why mom. Im a grown woman now and it seems stupid that i would care what a jealous bitter woman said to me all the time, but its engraved in my brain. i guess when someone tells you something so much you believe it, I never believed i was good enough for anything. Well I gained alot of weight during my pregnancy but then i lost it all in about a month after i delivered, I even got hips (which i wanted soo badly). But then i continued to eat like i was still pregnant and this is the result, I am 27 yrs old, I'm 5'8 and i weighed 271 lbs when i first started MFP i have lost 3 lbs so far =[

I have been told many times I have a great personality and that i am funny and what not, I have been told i have a cute face. It really sucks! I want to be told Im beautiful period, not just some things that are good about me, i want everything to be good. I want to see myself and actually like what I see. I want to feel beautiful, i want my daughter to not have to feel like she is walking on eggshells when there is a conversation about weight, My poor child (7yrs old) tells me "Youre not fat, you're just different" Well I dont want to be "different" that way anymore

I started doing the 30 day Shred with my sister, Jillian is kicking our *kitten* but we will kick hers back in a few weeks, I swear this is so hard, counting calories and stuff, Math was never my favorite subject. I feel like running to the nearest McDonalds and stuffing my face, actually running wouldnt be a bad idea, id probably burn what i would eat, but knowing my lazy butt i would just drive there. I really need motivation to get healthy. My current motivation is December, I am going out of town and i am going to probably run into the love of my life (who dumped me when we were 18 for a 30something yr old hag) and i want him to squirm when he sees me all hot lookin' lol i know its vain but its what i got right now. Anyway im new here so ADD me people, I need support and I am a great listener and give pretty good advice and Im a good cheerleader, If you need support back Im here =]

Thank you for reading

Edna

Replies

  • curvygrl297
    curvygrl297 Posts: 5
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    Edna (that is your name, right?)--

    I know exactly what you are going through and I am glad we got the chance to be digital buddies on this sight. Our body types and current weight almost equal each other. What do you think about doing this together. I know I could use the extra motivation.

    I an 21, Female, 5'9, and my last weigh in was 267.8, Tomorrow I am going to see what the damage is!
  • ednawhistle
    ednawhistle Posts: 55 Member
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    yes my name is Edna. What is yours. and yes i would love to have another buddy in the same boat. My sister is on here too. she is super shy please add her ;-) her name is Noelly Silva.

    Im afraid to look at the scale. damn thing has me traumatized. Hope you get good results :-D
  • Loopylu84
    Loopylu84 Posts: 28 Member
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    Hi, we're the same age and I know exactly what you mean about being the funny fat friend. It's depressing. Time for a change! :)
  • Ke1ra78
    Ke1ra78 Posts: 146 Member
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    I'll send you an add! Good luck on your weight loss. :-)
  • niknak2308
    niknak2308 Posts: 315 Member
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    Well your head sounds like it's in the right mindset for doing this! I think all of us have reached a point where we go "enough is enough" and actually make the effort to do it and find ourselves here! Seems like you've hit yours!

    I've been on MFP since Oct last year but lost about a stone before joing MFP since the Jan 2011 (having my 2nd child). I've found this site invaluable - yes it seemed a little confusing at the very beginning but you'll soon get your head around it all and realise what a great community this place is!

    Feel free to add me as a friend if you'd like some company on your weightloss journey! I log daily and consider myself supportive!!

    Just remember to take every day as it comes, minute by minute sometimes! Keep your eye on the long term goal (healthy not just making the ex jealous, though that's totally valid motivation in my mind haha). You WILL get there. :wink:
  • rn2be_2013
    rn2be_2013 Posts: 16
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    I can totally relate. Unfortunately, I used to be the one who always got the guy....now I'm the fat friend :(

    It's very disheartening but it's all my fault. So now I need to undo it!

    We can all do this!
  • Weight_less
    Weight_less Posts: 102 Member
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    I know how you feel, Edna! But being always a fat friend, I was not cute and funny fat friend though... I was always boring and ugly. I was always told by my relatives that I was ugly, fat, boring human being... :flowerforyou: But I try to get over it.

    Friend me if you want, I would be glad :smile:
  • LatinaPuppyLover
    LatinaPuppyLover Posts: 59
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    Hi Edna! I can relate to you in a lot of things. Specially my mom. She did yhe same thing to me, ecen when I wasn't even fat. As a kid she made do all this diets and took me to the doctor many time. Till this day she still tells me to stop eating or making funny faces when she thinks I dont look good in an outfit. I've never felt prettt and that was because of my mom. I had boyfriends in high school.and some boys wanted to go out with me and when she found out I had my first.boyfriend she wasnt even mad because she couldnt believe somebody would like me.... Anyway... I am now 29 yo and obese! I gained a lit of weight afyer my first child, and every pregnancy I add more and more. I have 3 kids and no more for me. Add me if you want a buddy we are pretty close in our weight also.
  • Misskacy1988
    Misskacy1988 Posts: 11
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    I can relate to this..people have always told me your smile is pretty...it's almost like you can hear the "but" but they don't say it. I'm going to shoot you a friend request.
  • Weight_less
    Weight_less Posts: 102 Member
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    Misskacy1988, you do have a beautiful smile! :smile:
  • LatinaPuppyLover
    LatinaPuppyLover Posts: 59
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    Stupid phone.... I hope you get the point with so many typos
  • BlackStarlight
    BlackStarlight Posts: 554 Member
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    Hiya lovely,
    wow sounds like you've had a really rough time and while I can't understand what you're going through mom wise, my parents were never like that. They didn't really understand the reasons why I had for a long time. But they've never been unsupportive of me or anything i've done. However there are things I do understand not wanting to be the cute one, the funny one, the one with only the great personality. My younger sister is beautiful. There is no way around that. She just is. and while i can't and don't resent her for it, how can I? It's not her fault.
    I love my sister more than anything.


    However I do resent that other people make me feel ugly when I'm stood next to her. Just the other day a friend of my nan's came in and met me, I've been ill so I was stabling around on crutches and didn't really say anything and then my sister comes in and she's like wow she's beautiful isn't she and then looked me up and down and said well you've got a pretty face shame about the body! Nice. Real nice. My sister had moved on and my parents weren't around. I think if they had been it would have been world war three. However my nana was there and she said nothing in my defence. I fact she agreed which I think is the worst thing. But Im past that now.

    My point is that I know how you feel however Im getting to the point thanks to this journey, where it doesn't matter as much to me. It still stings sometimes, ear lier in the post being a great example of that. However it's getting better and hopefully sometime it will do the same for you :heart:

    So if you want to feel free to add me we'll do this together! :flowerforyou:
    Good luck you can do this! :smile:
    Star xxx :flowerforyou:
  • sho3girl
    sho3girl Posts: 10,799 Member
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    FR sent :smile:

    My cousin was ALWAYS the size 6/8 head turning centre of attention and me ... "she likes to read ... " and then people wonder why you have low self esteem
  • ednawhistle
    ednawhistle Posts: 55 Member
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    It is time for a change Ladies, we need to get on it and be the sexy beasts we are on the inside,Im going to add all of y'all =]
  • chellysmith25
    chellysmith25 Posts: 2
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    Well, I am a bit older than you guys (29+3 to be exact), but I am the same way! I was 282 one month ago, and now I am very proud to be at 266 today. I have a long road to go, and as of late, I am pretty new to this site. Feel free to add me, and good luck to all of you on what I know will be a successful life change for us all! :happy:
  • ednawhistle
    ednawhistle Posts: 55 Member
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    Yeah i have a cousin who was always the "Pretty" one, My other cousins and I had a convo about this not too long ago. My other cousins are BEAUTIFUL honestly prettier than the "pretty" cousin, but they always felt inferior, because everyone in our family was always saying how Beautiful and perfect and whatnot "pretty cousin" was. I dont know why grown ups do this to children and teens, I mean we feel like **** most of the time, then they add this insecurity crap, its a recipe for disaster. I have a 7 yr old daughter and I tell her everyday how BEAUTIFUL she is and how special she is. She is so used to it she just tells me "i know" I cant remember my mom ever telling me im Beautiful, Its sad but true
  • monkeynumber100
    monkeynumber100 Posts: 134 Member
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    Hey - feel free to come join the posse! Feel free to add me; I am always looking for motivated people. Let's do this!!!
  • ednawhistle
    ednawhistle Posts: 55 Member
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    FR sent =]
  • SomeChileanWoman
    SomeChileanWoman Posts: 3
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    I feel ya!!! I am the lead singer in a Brazilian Samba band, you know how hard it is to be the cute chunky singer next to these hot half-naked dancers? I can relate. But no worries, you're on track, you should be proud.

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