Random Ramblings

Who here loves to chat? I like to babble about anything and everything. So feel free to do the same in reply.

For example, I am soooo excited that I FINALLY got it through my hubby's thick skull that I can't lose weight if I can't access the excercise equipment I bought months ago. We had an extremely trying weekend with our kids and being very defiant, and I have my own issues with anxiety blah blah blah, but on top of everything I was PMSing HUUUUGE, and had several crying fits, and confessed how I feel horrendous about my body, and wished I had energy to play and even handle the stress of being a Mom to a child with ADHD/ODD. Our Daughter is not dealing with that, but, she is certainly a pain in the *kitten* 4 yr old when she wants to be, and the crying and screaming drives me batty. I know I am not alone, just want to vent about it. Feel free to vent with me. Kind of like a diary but not everyday. There are certainly worse things in the world, but let's consider this me licking my wounds in the corner by myself. Thanks.

Needless to say, I am THRILLED to be working today, and getting a break from the constant demands and whining.

So, hubby wants to get into shape as well, but his loss is miniscule to what I need to lose, but recently people have commented to him about his gain, and it amazes me that people feel this is polite(?) or acceptable behaviour. People who are overweight even if a little, are well aware of it. Seriously people are rude. He was hurt by it. He is not a mean person at all, and would NEVER say anything so hateful to anyone. Pissed me off. If he's 20lbs over his ideal weight, I'll eat my shorts.

I am 80lbs overweight, give or take 10lbs. It all depends on the week, and whether or not I ate italian poutine.
I was not overweight as a kid/teen or even early to mid twenties. It hit me at about 27 yrs old, when my not-yet-hubby and I started dating, and he took me to McDonald's all the time. I had never had a car before, and he drove me to and from work eventually instead of riding my bike or walking. Then quite quickly we moved in together, and I never seemed to suffer the whole having to do for myself after that. After a year, we got married, and I was in baby fever to get started. We lived in the country so I got a car and my decline became ever so present in my clothes when I wasn't getting pregnant easily. I can't blame anyone but myself. Well, that and my already existing depressions I didn't have medicated yet. SO, after 2 years of trying I was 183lbs when I got pregnant. Lost weight first trimester because of the morning sickness, and did fine during the remainder of pregnancy with minimal gain. I was 191lbs my week of delivery. I was too skinny afterwards, if you can believe that. I think I was at about 141lbs and I looked pale and sickly. I think the c-section was great, but may have made me look ill. Not sure.
Anyways, the yr passed and I was not planning on having another so quickly, but hubby said he'd like to try and we did. SURPRISE, it took that first time. Our daughter is a treat and extremely funny like her Aunt. I just wish I had known what was ahead with our son, so I could have waited and maybe, just maybe I would not have had such bad post-partum and withdrawn from my life. Hindsight, right?
Oh well, I am done for now. Anyone else have similar issues, or just want to talk about your situation, I would like to develope friends here. Don't have to give advice, I have received plenty with docs and others, well taken care of, just another person to share stuff with, and not feel guilty talking about it.

Now, to tackle my living room tonight so I can start my efforts again on this journey to finding the former self.

Toodles.