No nutritional support from household?

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VivereDisce
VivereDisce Posts: 35
in Motivation and Support
Long story short, I currently live with my grandparents. (Crappy economy, going back to school, and them needing help/me needing cheap rent kinda thing.) For about a month, I was doing really well starting on my weight loss journey. I lost about 14 pounds, and was feeling great. I had a bit of a tragedy in my family, and faltered a little bit. Now that I'm trying to get back on track though, the lack of support in my household is really getting to me.

I understand that my grandparents are stubborn in their old age, but what is getting to me is how badly I'm getting picked on for the things that I eat. I almost feel like I have to hide my food and only cook or eat when they aren't around, which isn't very often.

I have tried explaining to them what I am eating, and what it adds to my diet nutritionally. I have offered to let them taste it, too. (To give my grandma credit, she will usually taste things once. My grandfather refuses to.) I still constantly have to deal with them telling the dog not to beg because he won't want the crappy stuff I'm cooking. (For a picky dog, he eats almost everything I do!) My grandpa will tell me my avocado looks like baby poop, and if I really look at my food I won't want to eat it. They will ask me to have a family dinner with them, and then cook everything in a deep fryer. If I make a salad and only eat a little of the fried food, I am told that now they are going to have to waste food. They constantly bring in cake and cookies and ice cream, which is fine because we buy our own foods and it is their house, but then insist that they wouldn't buy that much if I wasn't going to help them eat it. I have taken things to work and thrown them out because I don't want to eat something like that.

I'm so frustrated with constantly being picked on. I feel like I have to go back to being a closet eater, hiding my avocado shells and garlic peels at the bottom of the waste bin. I know I shouldn't let them get to me, and I should remember that I'm doing this for me, but that just isn't working. I know I am slowly slipping back to where I was, and I already have a very long hard road ahead of me to reach my goal. I just don't know what to do about it.

Any advice?

As a side note, right now moving out is not an option. I can't afford another place while I'm in school, and I have 2 years to go before I graduate.

Replies

  • 0somuchbetter0
    0somuchbetter0 Posts: 1,335 Member
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    How frustrating! I understand that some people are set in their ways and it's impossible to get them to change. But have you tried having a really direct and honest conversation with them, even at the risk of upsetting them? I'm sure they love you, and they're happy to have you living with them. They probably don't realize that they're hurting you with the things they say and scolding you for wasting their fried food and ice cream. What about just being blunt and saying, "I understand that you don't like the way I eat, but this is something I have to do for my own health and for my own well-being. You don't have to like what I eat, but please don't criticize my food all the time, and please don't sabotage my hard work by 'making' me eat unhealthy food. If you love me, please be supportive -- if you can't be supportive, please keep your opinions to yourselves."

    Good luck!
  • myfitnessnmhoy
    myfitnessnmhoy Posts: 2,105 Member
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    Other than defending individual food, have you talked to them honestly about how you feel about the constant unwelcome input? You don't have to get them to like your food, you just have to ask them to allow you to eat what you want, and they get to eat what they want.

    As far as their "we wouldn't buy all this food if we knew you weren't going to eat it", the proper response is "I'm sorry you feel that I'm somehow wasting food, but I never intended to eat it, I didn't ask you to buy it, and while I appreciate that you are trying to help out, please stop buying extra food for me."

    You might also want to look into a local roommate arrangement or other living arrangements, though.
  • HoneyRiot
    HoneyRiot Posts: 27 Member
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    I wish I could offer advice other than don't let them get you down. You are the healthy one, mentally and physically, and you have to do what is best for you.

    It is sad that they pick on you. In a way, I would ask them why they are so against you eating fruits and vegetables. In reality, they are probably envious that you have the willpower to control what you eat. There is a great illustration I like to use when it comes to people like this, it's called the "crab mentality" and it's like this: if you put one crab in a bucket, you have to put a lid on the bucket because the crab will crawl out. However, if you put a bunch of crabs in a bucket, no lid is needed because if a crab tries to escape, the other crabs will grab onto escapee crab and drag it back down. People can sometimes be like crabs, when they see someone bettering themselves in some way, they try to drag that person back down, and it your case, they are insulting and belittling you and your nutritional choices. Stay strong! :smile:

    I am in a similar situation, I am 29 yrs old. I live at home with my parents too because of the economy and having gone back to school and moving out right now is an impossibility for me as well. My parents always snack on junk food and eat high-calorie content food as well. My mom is good, though, at bringing healthier food into the house, but she'll cook it all into a high-calorie per serving dish. I try to eat more healthy but sometimes I have to eat what they eat because of a lack of funds to buy healthier food.
  • tppchef
    tppchef Posts: 107 Member
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    Your awesome for being there for your grandparents. At their age, you have no hope changing how they feel towards your food. Because really, are they preserving their life for another 20 or 30 years? They are suppose to enjoy what they can when they can. I would print off a progress chart and leave it on the refrigerator. Leave them a grocery list of things that they could be buying at the store if they want to buy groceries to help you out. Even better yet; Invite your grandma's friends over and prepare your healthy food. See what they have to say. They will back off real quick when their friends start giving them a hard time for their own poor eating habits. Your grandparents will always look at you like a kid; therefore, buddy up with someone your grandparents listen to. They would be delighted to ruffle their feathers in your honor.

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