Why are we socially drawn...
Dahllywood
Posts: 642 Member
in Chit-Chat
Why, whenever a social event occurs(big or small), is it always centered around food and/or alcohol? It's really starting to annoy me.
I can't go out to dinner with 3-4 friends without being pressured to drink beer or eat more or have dessert. I constantly get made fun of for just ordering water, or not ordering the steak, or not wanting to go get ice cream.
The same is true for big gatherings. There is always food and alcohol involved, and if you aren't drinking, it's believed that you aren't having fun. It's really getting to me.
That's my rant on our society. Thoughts? :P
I can't go out to dinner with 3-4 friends without being pressured to drink beer or eat more or have dessert. I constantly get made fun of for just ordering water, or not ordering the steak, or not wanting to go get ice cream.
The same is true for big gatherings. There is always food and alcohol involved, and if you aren't drinking, it's believed that you aren't having fun. It's really getting to me.
That's my rant on our society. Thoughts? :P
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Replies
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Food and/or drinks seem, to me, to be pretty easy to coordinate, and still have the opportunity to talk and hang out. There are other things I have done with friends, like go to games or the movies, or even sat around and played music - but there is less opportunity to just talk.
As far as the pressure to eat more or drink alcohol - I haven't really run into that, personally. Usually my friends are happy if someone isn't drinking because then they don't have to call a cab.0 -
Oh yeah and how people will stop what they're doing to point one out. Good times0
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Food and/or drinks seem, to me, to be pretty easy to coordinate, and still have the opportunity to talk and hang out. There are other things I have done with friends, like go to games or the movies, or even sat around and played music - but there is less opportunity to just talk.
As far as the pressure to eat more or drink alcohol - I haven't really run into that, personally. Usually my friends are happy if someone isn't drinking because then they don't have to call a cab.
This. I haven't had any trouble coordinating things really. My friends are pretty healthy too so they wouldn't have a gathering then serve fast food.
Usually if we're out and I'm not going to drink I just drive there anyway so that's never an issue. I still drink some days though. You don't wanna be that lame person on a permanent diet who can't do anything.0 -
Food and/or drinks seem, to me, to be pretty easy to coordinate, and still have the opportunity to talk and hang out. There are other things I have done with friends, like go to games or the movies, or even sat around and played music - but there is less opportunity to just talk.
As far as the pressure to eat more or drink alcohol - I haven't really run into that, personally. Usually my friends are happy if someone isn't drinking because then they don't have to call a cab.
This. I haven't had any trouble coordinating things really. My friends are pretty healthy too so they wouldn't have a gathering then serve fast food.
Usually if we're out and I'm not going to drink I just drive there anyway so that's never an issue. I still drink some days though. You don't wanna be that lame person on a permanent diet who can't do anything.
Trust me I'm not the lame person on a permanent diet. I can hold my drink :P. It's just the "always have drinks with your dinner when at a restaurant" mentality that is getting to me0 -
Food and/or drinks seem, to me, to be pretty easy to coordinate, and still have the opportunity to talk and hang out. There are other things I have done with friends, like go to games or the movies, or even sat around and played music - but there is less opportunity to just talk.
As far as the pressure to eat more or drink alcohol - I haven't really run into that, personally. Usually my friends are happy if someone isn't drinking because then they don't have to call a cab.
This. I haven't had any trouble coordinating things really. My friends are pretty healthy too so they wouldn't have a gathering then serve fast food.
Usually if we're out and I'm not going to drink I just drive there anyway so that's never an issue. I still drink some days though. You don't wanna be that lame person on a permanent diet who can't do anything.
Trust me I'm not the lame person on a permanent diet. I can hold my drink :P. It's just the "always have drinks with your dinner when at a restaurant" mentality that is getting to me
Why would it be strange if you bypass drinking at a restaurant? Sometimes I would have a glass of wine that would last me for the whole meal (mainly because I am driving) but there are times where I just order Perrier water. No one ever said anything or I felt pressured and my friends can drink!0 -
That's because we have nothing else to do. Imagine a night out with friends without a restaurant and bar. The only thing you could probably do is walk around downtown which is boring if you're from the area. People want stuff to happen to make it more exciting.
But here are alternatives:
Long hikes
Sporting events
Concerts
But you can't always plan those activities on a random night out0 -
I agree that it is just easier for people to plan going out to dinner and happy hour. Lately though, I have noticed a shift with my friends wanting to throw in other events like hiking. It is the perfect event for talking AND getting some excercise in. If you don't want to drink, offering to be the DD is the best way to get people excited about the fact you are not drinking :-)0
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Man up and tell your friends to p*** off and have a good time anyways, or stay home and be this guy.
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because we're animals that have evolved from hunting and gathering and eating socially....pretty sure this little routine will never die.
It sucks that you aren't partaking of the same 'kill' that everyone else is - you could just choose not to go to most dinner outings - but then, you risk social exclusion and whine about why you have no friends.
it's all about the illusion maybe - sip drinks and nibble the kill.
good luck.0 -
A lot of my friends are either health nuts or trying to lose weight themselves, so they understand when I don't go all-out with them.
If they don't, then we're close enough that I can tell them to mind their own business :P
((Plus, I'm a super lightweight when it comes to booze, so I never need much.))0 -
stay strong, they will get over it if they are true friends. Or since your not on some lame permanent diet eat and drink sensible. Not that hard to figure out. There are options. If you order a steak only eat half, if you order a beer only drink one beer or vodka with a lime or something.0
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It's all about the music for me. Good DJs and some dancing. Never any food ... although sometimes after a good 4-5 hours of straight dancing, I feel like I may need some food in my body LOL.
Why not go out clubbing or dancing or something like that?
Actually, I think a couple months ago I went to a dinner party. And when my parents visit me, they take me out for lunch/dinner or something. So maybe like once a month, there is something focused on food.
I guess we hang out with different people
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This is odd. I've never felt this pressure...whether at my healthiest/fittest, or unhealthiest. If I want water, I order water...neither my friends nor family would dream of questioning it in a negative manner...or at all really. If I don't want food, someone might ask if I'm not feeling well...but that's concern, not pressure.
I've heard your feelings mentioned by others as well. It makes me wonder, honestly...how much of that pressure is self imposed.
As a disclaimer, I know in some families and/or culture, to not participate in festivities fully is a grave insult. That's not the kind of thing I'm talking about here.0 -
Before I quit drinking, we used to hangout and my best friend would literally order a glass of milk. We made fun of him like all friends do but then again they'd make fun of me only ordering high end scotch and not getting silly drunk. But we never pressured him to drink alcohol and we were able to hangout at the bar everyday without him feeling awkward or bad.
Now I don't drink and none of my friends pressure me or judge me. They still make fun of me not drinking but thats just how us friends are. I now drink coke or coffee.
If your friends are PRESSURING you to drink, seriously get new friends or tell them to mind their own business. Wise cracks and everything (to a tolerable point ofcourse) are different from pressuring you into doing something you're not feeling comfortable.0 -
This is odd. I've never felt this pressure...whether at my healthiest/fittest, or unhealthiest. If I want water, I order water...neither my friends nor family would dream of questioning it in a negative manner...or at all really. If I don't want food, someone might ask if I'm not feeling well...but that's concern, not pressure.
I've heard your feelings mentioned by others as well. It makes me wonder, honestly...how much of that pressure is self imposed.
As a disclaimer, I know in some families and/or culture, to not participate in festivities fully is a grave insult. That's not the kind of thing I'm talking about here.
I know for certain some of it is indeed self imposed. But at family gatherings, my mother-in-law always gets huge cakes and fried food, etc. (and we have ALOT of family gatherings so this aint no once a month thing), and she practically force feeds us. We had to literally run out of the house once and say thanks for having us, we have to go now after saying we didn't want cake multiple times! She tried to follow us to our car with the dang cake and she was almost running! LOL. One time she tried so hard to push cake into my husbands arms he dropped the ceramic dog bowls he was carrying and they broke :-( So there are sometimes when the pressure is external and very real.0 -
Well if they're pressuring you to eat and drink things that you don't want to and you feel "forced" to do it or they'll "make fun of you" then obviously they're not your friends.
When I go out with my friends if choose either not to drink, not have dessert and only get a salad they don't judge me or force me to partake in anything I don't want to because they respect me and what I'm choosing to do. On the converse, I wouldn't do that to them either.0 -
Pleasure, pleasure and more pleasure.0
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Why, whenever a social event occurs(big or small), is it always centered around food and/or alcohol? It's really starting to annoy me.
I can't go out to dinner with 3-4 friends without being pressured to drink beer or eat more or have dessert. I constantly get made fun of for just ordering water, or not ordering the steak, or not wanting to go get ice cream.
The same is true for big gatherings. There is always food and alcohol involved, and if you aren't drinking, it's believed that you aren't having fun. It's really getting to me.
That's my rant on our society. Thoughts? :P
TRUST ME...when you get older and more secure with WHO you are..this won't be an issue...I remember this in my early 20's but once I discovered who I was, and what I really was about...These things became a non-issue...I am in my early 30's and when I hang with friends who are eating crappy foods, drinking, or want to do some things I don't want to do...I just say..."nah....you guys get it in...I am going to chill" After a while they will know that you have a strong personality and won't try and presuade you on things...PLUS as you get older and your friends are older..they are less incline to put pressures on you....
Just grow some balls and stand your ground on issues or things you don't want to do....
Not trying to be rude...but sometimes telling it like it is...IS best0 -
sounds like you need a new social circle
or
there's always this way of thinking. . . if they don't like what you are or aren't eating/drinking they can *kitten* off some place else.0 -
Why, whenever a social event occurs(big or small), is it always centered around food and/or alcohol? It's really starting to annoy me.
Solution... sex parties. There. All of society's problems solved with one simple post.0 -
Man up and tell your friends to p*** off and have a good time anyways, or stay home and be this guy.
Where in the hell did you find my high school photo?0 -
Why, whenever a social event occurs(big or small), is it always centered around food and/or alcohol? It's really starting to annoy me.
Solution... sex parties. There. All of society's problems solved with one simple post.
I would like to nominate you for President of the Universe.0 -
I know where your coming from man... OP...0
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