I really need my life back

I just want to encourage you...try not to focus on the past. Look forward and believe in yourself. I lost my Dad who was my very best friend to a heart attack in his sleep and eating became a great comfort to me. It still can be if I give it the power over my mind. I miss my Dad so much, but I know he would not be pleased if I continued to stay overweight. You can do anything you set your mind to do. You ultimately have the control not the food. You're doing great things already because you chose to utilize MFP. You got this! P.s. If the guy is pouring negative energy into your heart and mind, you might want to cut him loose. God bless, E.

I think it would be very easy to say, "Dump the guy! Exercise! Eat better!" but the fact of the matter is that you will probably get overwhelmed if you try to change everything all at once so my only advice it to start slowly. What can you change tomorrow? Can you dump the guy? Can you go for a walk? Can you have healthier meals or go to the grocery store and buy healthy food to last the next few days? Figure out the thing you can and will do tomorrow and do it. Then decide what to do the next day. I know it seems easier to hide behind food and a guy who isn't nice to you because you may feel like staying with him is easier than meeting someone new. Just keep in mind that the food and the guy aren't fulfilling you in any way so you are now going to feel empowered and choose better for yourself. So again, what can you do tomorrow to work towards empowering yourself? Figure it out, you can do it!

Have you ever tried to memorize inspirational quotes or scriptures? When I'm down or need encouragement, I will find one or two great motivational quotes or scriptures and post them all over -- in my car, on the mirrors in my bathroom, the fridge, and I will put them on little sticky notes to keep with me. Whenever I start to doubt myself or I feel down, I start reading those messages. You kinda have to train your brain to think more positive.

I've been where you are - it was years ago, but I remember thinking -Is this what I want for the rest of my life? Is this how I want my kids to see me?

If you're living together it will make it harder, but honestly, if he depresses you - I think your first step is to leave him. Losing weight is hard enough without someone who depresses you making it even harder.

These questions had more to do with the guy than my weight (which I've always battled). I did leave him and it was hard - my family and friends were thrilled and couldn't understand why I was so sad about the break up. It was hard, cuz I felt like no one would want me like I was, and I morned for the relationship I kept thinking we could have had.

Cut to 12 years later - I'm still overweight and battle it everyday. But my husband (an entirely different man) loves me no matter how I look, supports me in all of my decisions and has helped me deal with the loss of my mom at an early age (where my depression comes from). Having someone who supports you really does help. I'm a happier person and while still no kids - I know that when I have them, I would hope that my little girl can find a man like my husband.

Hope this helps. Good luck - and please let us know how you are doing.

I know it sounds much easier than it is...but you have to ditch the guy. Losing weight is difficult enough. But when you're in a bad relationship that's causing depression it's like fighting your way upstream.

We're all pulling for you.