Rant:

svazquez820
svazquez820 Posts: 88 Member
in Chit-Chat
All right this has nothing to do with weight loss or fitness. However, it simply deals with my boyfriend. I began working two months ago with the ausa. His family is coming down to the Keys tonight till Sunday. I was unable to take off due to not being past my 90 days probation so I was going to head down Friday night with the boyfriend. But now we have a trial at the end of July (its my biggest one yet) so my partner asked me to work this Saturday morning for about 2-3 hours nothing major to get all the motions and trial subpoenas ready. I said yes of course..I am new and I love my job and don't want to say no.

Am I wrong for not saying no? Since I will be spending time with my boyfriends family in the keys I have decided to leave Friday after work and then wake up about an hour or two early and head back to Fort Lauderdale do what I need to do and then head back down to Islamorada. I will spend the weekend with them and head back to Fort Lauderdale come Sunday.

Help please! He always says theres something popping up with work and vacations. He wants me to say no and go with him. But new to the job and I don't think that would look great especially since it's a trial I am co-chairing.

Replies

  • TheUglyFriend
    TheUglyFriend Posts: 338
    No.. Always put a job first and the BOYFRIEND next. Hes not your husband.... Its a new job and to keep it you have to say yes. I an totally for you saying yes
  • caraiselite
    caraiselite Posts: 2,631 Member
    i wouldn't take time off
  • svazquez820
    svazquez820 Posts: 88 Member
    We've been together for seven years so I don't think it's going to ruin anything. I love this job and want to do whatever I can to keep it.
  • SmexAppeal
    SmexAppeal Posts: 858 Member
    I think if the boyfriend really loves you, he should support you in your career goals. Obviously being new to the job, it is important to really put yourself out there. I would be interested to see what some men say on this topic though.
    Also, I think he should see your dedication towards him. Come on, you are driving there after work Friday, driving home for work Saturday and then back down after work saturday. That's freakin love. He should take note, and support your decision.
  • digitalbill
    digitalbill Posts: 1,410 Member
    It's the Keys. Its not like you are going to Europe. It is like a 2 hour drive from the middle kes back to Lauderdale for you.
    Besides, the weather is gonna suck this weekend.

    And yes, being new to the job means you get to kiss a lot of butt for a while.
  • 2bFitNTrim
    2bFitNTrim Posts: 1,209 Member
    I think your plans sound pretty good and don't blame you for not wanting to say no to your new boss. The economy is tough, plus you want to show yourself as someone they can depend on. You are new, so this is not something they know. You have to show it.
    I like how you really are making an effort to be with the family.
  • svazquez820
    svazquez820 Posts: 88 Member
    I appreciate all the feedback. I just hate that he's being like this and saying that I always pull something like this before a vacation. It's not a vacation for me it's the weekend. My being new like all of you have indicated means I need to show them I am responsible.

    I am still making an effort to be with them. It is not like I am saying forget it there's no point in driving there at all. AGH! :X
  • jennifer52484
    jennifer52484 Posts: 888 Member
    Just tell him what you just said. It is just a few hours. Tell him to put a ring on it, if he wants to have any say with what you do with your time lol.. I don't know.. I think you are doing what you need to do. you love your job and you don't want to look bad because your bf puts up a stink about it. He'll get over it and you will both win!
  • ninerbuff
    ninerbuff Posts: 48,990 Member
    Your life is forever. Unfortunately not all relationships are. I've seen people who were together for upteen years split up over continual disagreements.
    I say do what you really want to do first. You'll know what's right.

    A.C.E. Certified Personal/Group FitnessTrainer
    IDEA Fitness member
    Kickboxing Certified Instructor
    Been in fitness for 28+ years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
  • 2bFitNTrim
    2bFitNTrim Posts: 1,209 Member
    Just tell him what you just said. It is just a few hours. Tell him to put a ring on it, if he wants to have any say with what you do with your time lol.. I don't know.. I think you are doing what you need to do. you love your job and you don't want to look bad because your bf puts up a stink about it. He'll get over it and you will both win!

    The "put a ring on it" doesn't work for me. Yes, being married changes things, I suppose, but I think she has a right to pursue her career and live her life. Some jobs are not going to be in the traditional 9-5 pm mode. If this is a huge burden for the boyfriend, then they may need to re-evaluate their relationship. I have no clue obviously how irritated the boyfriend is, but I do think she has a right to her career. Just my 2 cents worth.
  • svazquez820
    svazquez820 Posts: 88 Member
    My job is far from traditional my hours vary daily depending on hearings and trials. He's just midly upset because like I said before we go on a vacation something always goes on in my job where I can't leave till a following day or a few hours later. I didn't request Thursday nor Friday off because I don't want to risk my job. So I told him we will leave Friday but if he wanted he could head down there without me and I'll meet when I am free for the weekend. But this came up on Saturday and I am to into this case to not put my all in it and yes that consists of a few hours on a Saturday too me it's not the end of the world because it's my job and my passion.

    I didn't tell him I was not going to go because of this. I just told him I will be leaving early Saturday to drive back to Broward County and then head back to down to spend time with his family. It will be 2 hour drive at the max and I am fine with that. I am doing my job and will also be spending time with his family.
  • hbrittingham
    hbrittingham Posts: 2,518 Member
    I would acknowledge his disappointment by telling him that you do understand why he is unhappy, but that this is something that you feel like you need to do. Also be sure he understands that you are willing to drive back and forth because you want to make the effort to spend as much time as you can with him and his family.

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