Rock bottom and motivation

I hit rock bottom when I realized I would blow my friends off or skip activities that I loved all because I thought I was too fat to be seen in public. I realized it was time for a change and that I couldn't just hide in my room for the rest of my life.

I keep myself motivated by taking it one day at a time and appreciating the small sucesses I have. ( being able to do that extra few push ups, running an extra km, my jeans fitting a tiny bit looser.) It is hard, but you can't think about how far you have to go but instead how far you've come. Even if it is just making the decison to start a weight loss journey, thats a very big step in the right direction itself.

At first it was very very hard for me to resist all the temptation, especially since I work at a place that has some of the best fast food in my town. But will power is a muscle, the more you work on it the bigger it becomes. Once you start eating healthy and reducing calories it will become fairly easy. There will be days when you want to cheat, and there will be days when you will cheat. But you have to work through those days and just keep going!

I felt like I had hit rock bottom for years before I got my act together and finally started doing what I needed to do to lose the weight. I think part of it was that I didn't know how to lose weight right and when I unavoidably failed whatever fad diet I was trying I would get really down on myself and get depressed and cry my eyes out over failing once again. I'd quit for a while and try to fill my life with other things. Forgetting about it felt good for a little while but eventually I would get sick of the way I looked again and I would be totally disgusted and Id think I hit rock bottom again. I'd search for a new diet that promised results and do it all over. This for me went on from about middle school until just last February.

What finally shook me from it started with getting a personal trainer. She told me about how she had never cared about what she ate and how she often had several bagels with cream cheese a day and Starbucks frapes (their largest size!) and their 600 calorie muffins for breakfast. Then she told me she woke up in the morning and lifted for an hour. Then when she finished her lunch, she did cardio until her break was over. Throughout the day, she often did what she was making her clients do with them. I realized I had been doing it all wrong. I had been starving myself and looking at working out as a chore. It just clicked for me in that moment- If I am athletic, I can eat a lot and still look great! That was the thing that always made me give up in the end- feeling like "I cant eat that because I'm on a diet" Now I know that like my trainer, I can eat whatever I want- if I'm staying active. Obviously I still want to keep track of my calories when I'm still trying to lose the last 5lbs, but I will play it much more by ear the way she does when I'm there.

Also, that idea that working out is something "I have to do" was really holding me back. Its not something I HAVE to do, its something I WANT to do. Why? Because I'm a runner. Im a weight lifter. Im athletic. Thats what people that are weight lifters or runners do. They run and they lift. Also, about wanting pizza and cheesecake- you are always going to want that. Embrace it. Work with It. I had pizza a few days ago. I only had the calories for three small slices. So I only ate three small slices, even though I wanted 4 or 5. I had cheesecake almost every night this week too. Just a sliver though, because that is all I could "afford" with my calories. If you keep saying no to everything tasty in life, you wont be able to stick with it. Lastly, I think you should eat more calories. Use this website http://www.fat2fitradio.com/tools/bmr/ to find out how many calories you need. Subtract 200-300 from that or eat at a lower activity level than you are. You will lose slowly, but you will be able to eat more of what you like and you will be more likely to stick with it then. Also, I find their podcasts very helpful and motivating if you are interested in giving them a try. I hope this helps you.

It might help if you just to start recording your calories on MFP, even without trying to moderate them. You may find that seeing those numbers helps you know exactly how much you're overeating and might encourage you to cut back here and there, and once you make small changes, it might be easier to start making bigger ones.

I am exactly where you are at mentally right now. I know that I want to loose weight, it has been 3 years since Ive told myself I would have lost it. But, after repeatedly hitting rock bottom, finally loosing a bit and gaining it all back I have started to feel that I should just give up, whats the point I cant ever be successful. But, I have told myself that I am going to stop hating myself, and being tough about not working out, eating badly, etc. Instead, each day Im doing to try to take a positive step.

Just this week, Ive gotten up at 6 and have ran for 30 min. In order to help myself not feel like a failure, I taking one step each day to excercise for atleast everyday.

Life is too short, its all about the choices we make. I know you can do it, I will be right there working hard everyday to do the same.

Thanks for sharing your stories, I really appreciate it.