SELF CONTROL-why is it so hard?

hello mfp people!

some days i can control myself but for the most part i do not have any control

once my mind is fixed on a certain food, i go crazy until i have it..

i think its years of eating whatever i wanted ...

such a bummer when i give in

last night is a perfect example.. i ate two cups of pasta after i was ready for bed and had no calories left...

made me feel like crap after doing so good all week...

anyone feel me? or anyone had tips on how to say "no" to yourself..

Replies

  • MelAb8709
    MelAb8709 Posts: 140 Member
    You've lost 29 pounds so you DO have control.

    I'm not much better than you when it comes to cravings - once i fixate, I'm a goner. It's best just to not make the stuff available to you - don't buy junk food, when you cook portion it out and put the leftovers in the fridge immediately ... perhaps a picture of you at your starting weight taped to the fridge would help you to say No?
  • curryinahurry
    curryinahurry Posts: 83 Member
    lol i did tape a pix to my fridge last night since i felt so bad. thanks for the encouragment.
  • lainey486
    lainey486 Posts: 10
    I am about to hit the dreaded PMS week. that means I NEED chocolate! Or at least i think i do. I have found that in the last month the cravings have gone down for junk food as long as I eat my snacks thru the day. I find myself reaching in the fridge for a few grapes now instead of going to the pantry to search for whatever morsel of junkfood might be left (sadly, and fortunately, there is almost no JF left in my pantry). I am ready for chocolate, so I think I might buy some dove chocolates, i like how small they are, and I can actually hide them from myself, by putting them in the fridge where the butter would go. Out of sight, out of mind. Then when i find them a few weeks from now, it is like finding a 5 in a coat pocket. I also don't chew the chocolates, but suck on them, it takes way longer to eat them and then my cravings feel satisfied after just two.
    If that pasta was left over from dinner, don't make extra dinner. Switch to healthier pasta too, then you don't have to feel so bad. At night, when my tummy tries to say it is hungry, even though my calories are at goal, I drink a large glass of water. IF, after the glass of water, my stomach is sure it needs food, I grab carrots, or an apple, all of these things are quick and in plain sight, I don't put them in the veggie drawers.
    I would bet that pasta was the first thing you saw in your fridge, put those things to the back. then you don't have to say no.
  • Shannota
    Shannota Posts: 308 Member
    A lot of it is that we are hard-wired to want more food. It came in handy when our ancestors were hunter-gatherers, but now that food is always available...not such a good thing. I have even read studies that say that some of us are missing chemical receptors in the brain that signal when we are full (if that is true, I think I am one of those people...I never feel full until I am about to burst!)

    You have to learn what you have to do to be healthy...and that may be a bit different from person to person. Try to avoid as many temptations as possible. If you can't avoid them, limit how much you eat of them. It takes time...I have been working on it since I was about 10 years old and haven't mastered it yet!
  • caraiselite
    caraiselite Posts: 2,631 Member
    ketosis does wonders if you have self control issues.

    i can't do moderation. i overeat/binge on unhealthy junk..
    but when i'm in ketosis, i have no appetite. no desire to eat comfort foods.
    i'm happy with it and wonder why i was ever stupid enough to eat junk food in the first place.
  • curryinahurry
    curryinahurry Posts: 83 Member
    wonderful stories and advice so far!!

    i am not sure what ketosis is...care to explain?
  • ambermichk
    ambermichk Posts: 108 Member
    i too have no control, i cannot seem to even make myself walk away when i am NOT hungry, when i know i dont need the food.....i swear i am an addict.....i think i need food rehab !!!!
  • i_am_losing_it
    i_am_losing_it Posts: 310 Member
    SELF CONTROL-why is it so hard? You are human. Don't be so hard on yourself, no one is perfect all the time on anything. You are making progress and improving keep it up and pretty soon it will only be a once in a blue moon thing. Kudos to you, but don't beat yourself up :)
  • lindsy721
    lindsy721 Posts: 350 Member
    Well, I don't have any sparkling revelations, but I can say it really helps to just get tempting food out of the house. I eat at home as much as possible, so I'm not tempted by fast food and stuff.
  • byersdlt
    byersdlt Posts: 9
    I can't count the number of times I've failed horribly and gave in to cravings over the years! I feel your pain! What I've discovered which has helped a lot is to space out all 6 of my meals out by about 2 1/2 to 3 hours making sure to include lots of high water low calorie foods like fruits, greens and veggies with some protein choices. Nuts, seeds (measured out in portions) Never eat out the container- thats a sure way to blow it! Keeping your blood sugar from dropping too low by eating at regular intervals really does help keep those cravings controllable. Don't give up, keep analyzing what you could do different and you'll figure out what works for you!
  • Renae_Nae
    Renae_Nae Posts: 935 Member
    For me...I simply didn't want it bad enough. I always justified it with "I already lost x pounds...it won't kill me to just eat this." or "it's a special occassion." Ever since I started Insanity and I have my count down along with my trip to California planned I crave food but it's not worth it to me. I'm having a Zaxby's Birthday Cake Milkshake tonight. But I also burned 1100 calories through exercising and mowing the grass today so I'm going to spurge some of those calories. I've been craving one since last Saturday but I haven't had the calories for it so I waited because I WANT MY BODY MORE!
  • I in the past have had my worst cravings for food when I am already laying down for bed. I simply no longer allow myself to get up and eat. Maybe you should ask yourself questions before eating a food, like am I really hungry? will eating this help my achieve my goals?
  • soehlerking
    soehlerking Posts: 589 Member
    i had 3 days last week where i couldn't stop eating things. honestly, i let myself eat just little bits of things (half a handful of peanuts, 5 potato chips, 3 bites of ice cream), and then i walk away. (or try to.) for the last 6 months i've been super-determined, but recently i've just started missing the comfort of sitting on my couch with a huge bag of chips, not caring (or knowing) about how many calories i was consuming. now i tell myself it's the fat kid inside of me trying to take over. keep your eye on the prize, friend! we can shut that fatty up with exercise, not ice cream!
  • dotti1121
    dotti1121 Posts: 751 Member
    bump
  • I can't count the number of times I've failed horribly and gave in to cravings over the years! I feel your pain! What I've discovered which has helped a lot is to space out all 6 of my meals out by about 2 1/2 to 3 hours making sure to include lots of high water low calorie foods like fruits, greens and veggies with some protein choices. Nuts, seeds (measured out in portions) Never eat out the container- thats a sure way to blow it! Keeping your blood sugar from dropping too low by eating at regular intervals really does help keep those cravings controllable. Don't give up, keep analyzing what you could do different and you'll figure out what works for you!

    ^^ this. good ideas.
  • definitelyval
    definitelyval Posts: 104 Member
    I am about to hit the dreaded PMS week. that means I NEED chocolate! Or at least i think i do. I have found that in the last month the cravings have gone down for junk food as long as I eat my snacks thru the day. I find myself reaching in the fridge for a few grapes now instead of going to the pantry to search for whatever morsel of junkfood might be left (sadly, and fortunately, there is almost no JF left in my pantry). I am ready for chocolate, so I think I might buy some dove chocolates, i like how small they are, and I can actually hide them from myself, by putting them in the fridge where the butter would go. Out of sight, out of mind. Then when i find them a few weeks from now, it is like finding a 5 in a coat pocket. I also don't chew the chocolates, but suck on them, it takes way longer to eat them and then my cravings feel satisfied after just two.
    If that pasta was left over from dinner, don't make extra dinner. Switch to healthier pasta too, then you don't have to feel so bad. At night, when my tummy tries to say it is hungry, even though my calories are at goal, I drink a large glass of water. IF, after the glass of water, my stomach is sure it needs food, I grab carrots, or an apple, all of these things are quick and in plain sight, I don't put them in the veggie drawers.
    I would bet that pasta was the first thing you saw in your fridge, put those things to the back. then you don't have to say no.

    THIS!!!!
  • dunnweb
    dunnweb Posts: 49
    check out www.reddit.com/r/keto

    Ketosis is a state your body enters where i burns ketones for energy instead of using carbohydrates. Essentially you consume a 65/30/5 "macro" which means you have your calories/day .... say 1500, 65% of those calories come from fat, 30% come from protein, 5% come from carbs. You consume <20g carbs/day and eat fatty, protein filled foods such as bacon, steak, etc. One day a week you carb load >100g carbs to replenish what you depleted. I've just started and noticed no loss of energy (in fact I feel more energetic) healthier bowls, etc along with a consistent fat burn.
  • Fasbold
    Fasbold Posts: 29
    Plan some room in your calories for some of those things you can't resist. Just follow the labels for the serving size. I didn't realize that a pint size ice cream is considered 3.5 servings until I had to log it into MFP. WOW! We Americans have the mindset that the whole container is one serving.

    I don't keep ice cream in the house, because I eat it. I only buy it occasionally. I don't feel guilty if I know I am in a mood for something, and I have left room for it.

    I am on a low carb diet for doctors orders. I found that even if I am under my doctor's amount of carbs, and eat bread for more than a few days in a row, I feel it. A lot of this process is learning to listen to your body. I still love bread, and still eat it, but I have learned that I feel lousy if I eat my carb limit in bread every day. I am sure part of it is processed foods, homemade bread might have less an effect on me.

    If I do go over, I have learned to not let it get me. On a daily basis we can go over, but if the general trend for a week is well under our maximum calories, we will still lose weight. One can always do a little more exercise to counteract the calories.

    Don't beat yourself up. Just make your mindset one that you have to adjust things from time to time.

    What if a long lost friend shows up out of the blue and you go out for dinner and you go over calories? Will you tell your friend you can't go? No, you will go and make allowances to eat a bit less the next few days, or better, exercise a bit more. It is all good. It is about balance. Moderation in all things, even moderation. :wink:
  • SelkieDiver
    SelkieDiver Posts: 260 Member
    I don't know why some days are so hard. The good news is I don't seem to have those days near as often as I used to. And I hear what you're saying - its more than a craving. It's a compulsion to EAT, to binge, to go way over calories, to feel truly stuffed.

    I had a bad day yesterday. I likened it to having some creature in my head clawing at my brain. It started shortly after lunch (I was sated, had a healthy lunch, was well hydrated) and it just wouldn't let up. I fought it with every trick I know. Hot tea, a quick walk away from my desk, working on a project that took concentration. I got home and allowed myself something crunchy and salty to see if a taste would stop it and I thought I had won.

    About an hour later I ate my (now calorie adjusted) dinner and shortly after dinner the Monster was back. I had a cup of decaf coffee and tried to wait it out. Normally my last line of defense is to just go to bed but it was only 7:30! Finally it worn me down - I couldn't fight any more. I ate a bag of Pop chips (the big bag), a large handful of almonds, and the rest of the peanut butter in the house (about 4 tbs). All my macros were good for the day before that; I didn't need anything, but I put myself over my calories by +600.

    I still don't know why it happens. I'm just glad it doesn't happen very often anymore. On the other hand when it DOES happen now it seems to hit with a vengeance! Not sure which is worse! LOL! I've had to learn it is going to happen on occasion and I refuse to give in to the guilt or shame over what I did. I own up to it, log it and move on. I just recalculate what I need to do for the rest of the week to make it okay so I can can end the week with a deficit.
  • trapperanne
    trapperanne Posts: 76 Member
    For me, I have to take my days one at a time. If I stare at the past I am doomed to fail, If I think about the future it is always about fear. The best part is that my day can start over at any time, so I don't have to beat myself up unless I like to.

    What has helped me the most is loosing the diet mentality. I went to a eating disorder clinic and I was told I could eat anything I wanted as long as it was in my calorie range. For months I would buy chocolate and other things I thought were no no's. Eventually I could walk by them without them calling my name. I still stuggle with the diet mentality, but at the end of the day when I look at my food I have not gone over, nor have I deprived myself. I have lost 9 pounds however I will not weigh for another 15 days. ( the scale is also an issue for me so I only way once a month.) Check out my food diary. Trapperanne Papillion NE
  • confusedtracey
    confusedtracey Posts: 19 Member
    I find it is easier to keep the chocolate in the fridge

    1 It is harder so sucking it takes longer, there for you eat less cos your head gets over the NEED for chocolate.

    2 If it not in the house i crave it more.

    3 feed the crave while it's small cos if you ignore it, it gets bigger !

    This is how i cope,plus there are some people that will eat it more in front of you when they know your on a diet !!! So if you have smaller amounts you won't fell left out or feel sorry for yourself !!! lol

    good luck everyone and YOU ARE STRONG ENOUGH xxxx
  • iWaffle
    iWaffle Posts: 2,208 Member
    I find it is easier to keep the chocolate in the fridge
    I find it easier to not buy the chocolate because seriously, are we going to ever throw it out? No, It's getting eaten even if you try to drag it out over days. If you buy 500 calories, you just added 500 calories to your diet cause there's no way in God's green earth I'm throwing away chocolate.
  • bayBSteps
    bayBSteps Posts: 5
    For me it's so much easier to say no to eating it than to take one or two bites. I can't take a bite if there is pot full there. It is easy to just not have it around, but I live in a house where the people in it are not on the same page as me, and so it is everywhere. I just have to tell myself which is more important to me, and keep reminding myself. As a side note... chocolate isn't my food, CHEESE is. So I go to the supermarket on Saturday morning when they have a cheese of the week to sample and i take a piece (or two. or three) and walk it off. That way I can have a taste, and the cheese isn't sitting at my house tempting me every second.
  • TheVimFuego
    TheVimFuego Posts: 2,412 Member
    Self control is difficult because we are biologically programmed to survive and even if the body is getting plenty of 'food' we will still consume too much if we are nutritionally starving.

    Biology will win against willpower over time.

    People who fight against the body (excessive restriction of calories or chronic exercise) are doomed to failure in the long term. You can win by short-cutting the system.

    If you eat a lot of calorie-rich nutritionally-poor food you will crave stuff, the body wants it's fair share of nutrients.

    And if that means putting some of the excess into fat then so be it.
  • lorihalsted
    lorihalsted Posts: 326 Member
    If you have to have it work it into your calories for the day.
  • caraiselite
    caraiselite Posts: 2,631 Member
    wonderful stories and advice so far!!

    i am not sure what ketosis is...care to explain?

    its a low carb, high fat diet. most people get in ketosis by eating about 20 grams of carbs from veggies.

    this explains it better than me
    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ketosis
  • mcherri
    mcherri Posts: 22 Member
    you know, im a recovering opiate(oxycontin, heroin, etc..) addict, been clean for over 2 years, and i have always been at a great weight up until 2 years ago when i cleaned up... anyways, i can honestly say that the obsession overeaters have on food, like i sometimes have, is sooo similar to feelings of wanting to use.
    when i was on drugs, it was like, if a certain drug happened to cross my mind, i couldnt get it out of my mind until i went out and used it.... now ive found that if a certain food i love, like icecream for instance, pops into mind, i really just go nuts mentally until i eat some. and that obssessive feeling of wanting icecream is almost literally the same feeling as wanting drugs when i was using. its truly uncanny... and up until now, i never really understood or had any compassion for people who just couldnt put down the fatty foods to save their own hearts, but now it is completely understandable.. the relationship some of us have with food, is truly nothing less than addiction! and in the beginning, i was so shocked with my own food cravings, i assumed it was just because im an addict and that;s just my nature to be like this, but through mfp, and just talking to people, ive found that its not just recovering addicts who feel this way about food! ironically enough, ive become thankful for my past with drug addiction, because now im approaching my weight loss and my relationship with food with the same outlook and tools i use/d to kick my drug addiction. along with mfp (counting calories and working out), ive applied some of my recovery techniques when it comes to those overwhelmingly intense food cravings because, lets be honest, sometimes our own willpower alone is just not enough!