Sticking with it during tough times

Well don't use food as stress relief. Thin people go through tough times too, they just deal with the stress differently rather than turn to food.
Eat off a 9" plate. Visually if a plate looks full and you finish it, you trick your body into thinking that you've "finished". People overeat when they use 13" or larger plates.

A.C.E. Certified Personal/Group FitnessTrainer
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Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 28+ years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition

I've lost someone to cancer and I've been where you are right now so I completely understand. Do you do anything like crochet or knit? Maybe if those times you feel compelled to eat out of bordom/stress you could pick that up instead to keep your hands and mind busy or go for a long walk maybe?

I know its so easy to not care about anything else when you're going through that and its easy to give up and give in but it isn't going to help with what you're dealing with and just give you more to deal with later. Goodluck with everything and I hope you find some peace with all that is happening.

SO For those of you who haven't watched a parent die of cancer, here's a primer on the diet challenges I faced:

You're in a hospital after lunch/dinner hours, they only have vending machines. You're back and forth from the hospital to relative's houses, and to the house of your parent(s) who is sick. that is, you're around all *kinds* of different food. Then you're miles from your gym, and your schedule is all over the place, so it's not like you have your routine to fall back on. There's no solace or stability anywhere you turn: the people who have been there for you for your entire life: aren't. And there are tons of new challenges: you have to talk to doctors, learn about diseases, care for someone who sometimes doesn't have control over their own faculties. Someone who is on morphine, and delirious. You're paying 2x the bills, you're dealing with family members who are also upset/furious/depressed/eating/sad/whatever. So basically you're spending almost all your energy trying to remain calm, keep your family calm, and hold it together - leaves very little left to control eating.

So, to those people saying simply not to use food as a stress relief: "just don't" is a lot more challenging than you think. Do you have any times you were really really upset/stressed, and reached for food and somehow *didn't* eat it? How did you possibly resist? What were you thinking, there? HOW did you manage to not use food as stress relief? HOW did you get there? (I want to know your suggestions too, as I'm getting over some tough times.) I mean - I've had times where the only way I could get myself to get out of bed or do ANYTHING was to bribe myself with good food/drink.

Anyway, bucky2bebetty:

I'm not gonna lie to you. This is *not* going to be easy. My mom died of cancer 3 years ago, and I'm still losing the weight from that trauma. (I was 28.) I started last year, and I'm about 20 pounds down from the like 60+ I gained. I'm in a consistent state of losing weight slowly, this time - but it's taken 3 years. If I could go back in time, here's what I would have tried to do more of:

Try to take things one step at a time. You'll get quite overwhelmed if you look at the repercussions of this over time. "If I keep doing this, I'm going to gain so much weight!" - Don't think like that. Take tiny tiny baby steps - each decision will help you. So it's important to focus on super small things. it's all you'll have the energy for anyway! Think of each trip to the cafeteria/someone's house as it's own event. At a hospital? Try to get a half sandwich and soup, instead of a full cafeteria dinner. Go get dinner out? Try to at least add a vegetable on your plate. Dinner at a relative's? Try to half-fill your plate. Talk to your relatives. You can't eat *and* talk. At least not politely. Only have a vending machine available to you? See if they have fruit or yogurt, or something that's a little better than a snickers bar.

I were you, try to carry a water bottle around with you, so that when you're nervous or want to snack or chew something, you pick up the water bottle instead of reaching for a snack. It will also give you a 'totem' - something to just HOLD onto. If someone offers you a cookie/cake/something that's not in your normal food regimen, you can say "oh I'm fine with just my water here" and you'll hopefully be able to push off free food/nibbling on stuff when you're nervous. (Even if you *do* want what they're offering)

Also - try to keep working out - even if you're not still losing weight, try to keep this in your life as a nice consistent part of your schedule. Keeping some things *stable* is going to be hard - but try to keep everything stable as much as you can. You say you're a teacher and mom - so - think about yourself as you would a child. Give yourself the same stability / schedule you would for a kid. For example, try to give yourself the same bedtime at night, so you get up rested and not cranky. Try to eat consistently because you'll feel better. Try to be kind to yourself, and understand and accept that it's going to be hard, and that's OK. Be kind to yourself, as you would with a child. You wouldn't yell at a 5 year old because they were sad their grandpa was sick, don't beat yourself up because you're sad.

Also distract yourself. This seems simple, but if you're pacing the house all day, you'll make it about an hour without wanting a snack. Try to read a solid book you can really get into. Watching a 2-hr movie without having snacks other than water: try it, you'll find all of a sudden there go several snacking opportunities. Further - I watched movies that made me cry, because even when I wasn't about to burst into tears, I realized that I was still in this heightened emotional state. So then I'd cry over the movie, and be a little bit more calm/prepared to handle my own hardships.

Other than that, you can keep tracking, and writing a journal, and posting for people 's help. Best of luck for the challenges ahead and I wish peace and solace for your family, during this time.

thinking of you and thought a hug might be a good idea (((( )))) Hang in there and allow yourself the time to deal with whats happening around you. Keep logging and soaking up the support and hugs from everyone. Healthy eating might be out the window just now but by keeping up the habit of mfp means you will slot back into it so much easier. If you want to add me to cheer on your corner I would be happy to. Knowing how you feel.....

In the book Body for Life for Women the author talks about treading "weight". Basically it is used when you are going through a time such as you are now and while you don't quit on your eating plan and exercise you relax it a little as not to cause more stress and to allow yourself time to regroup. It made a lot of sense to me. Good luck. {{{{{:flowerforyou: }}}}}