The mental battle ....

Well, I haven't actually lost the big numbers yet, but I am in the process. When all is said and done, I will have lost over 100 pounds. I am 30 pounds in right now. What I can say is that for me, the mental battle has been the biggest element. Over many years I have tried, started to lose weight and make changes, and sabotaged myself for various reasons. I started to realize that until I got my head in the right place, I was going to stay on this back-and-forth pattern indefinitely. I read an interesting book called, "Change Your Brain Change Your Body" by Daniel Amen. It did not contain any earth-shattering news; it discussed healthy diet/sleep/exercise/food habits, but what it did do for me was put into perspective how my lifestyle choices had negatively affected my weight loss and how they had contributed to my failures. I adapted several suggestions from the book, applied them to my daily life, started out with small goals and as I racked up each success, I set the bar out a little farther. By giving myself smaller, more attainable goals, that helped not only encourage me but keep me motivated. Once I started to be able to see myself differently, then the real results started to happen. I am doing things now that I would never have thought possible a year ago and the only thing that changed was my mindset. Because of that, I know I will reach my goal and I know with 100% certainty that I will be posting my success photos on MFP.

In the last several months I have totally lost my cravings for food, my inner critical voice has been totally silenced, and I believe in myself for the first time in my life. Now that I know what that feels like, there is no turning back. Once you find that inside of you, that is all the mental game you need.

So ask yourself: what are your triggers? Are you a stress eater? Are you a food craver? What are your motivations and do you really believe in them? Are they going to kick your *kitten* in gear on the days when you would rather skip the gym? Is there a core belief that is holding you back? If so, identify it and work to change it. It is worth the effort. I will never be the same woman I was 6 month ago. And I say farewell and adieu. She is no longer the person I want to be or how I see myself. And I am a thousand times better for leaving her behind.

I believe that understanding your core beliefs is a big part of the equation. I just don't believe in obsessing over them. Once you understand those beliefs, you can work to change them. But if you don't understand them and you haven't reflected on them, I think there is a good chance they can come back later and bite you in the *kitten*. So I believe in both, do the introspection and understand where, how and why you struggle, and then you will reach a point when you adapt a STFU mentality - at least I did!

I know, probably not too helpful, but there you have it. Good luck my dear, you can do it!! :flowerforyou:

PS I have many similarities - genetics, young kids, etc. They are nothing more than obstacles - and you can overcome any obstacle out there.

I am currently fighting the mental battle I come up losing everyday. I start off with good intentions all pumped up but by the end of the day I come up short I'm tired of it. I have been battleing this for years. I need help.

I haven't hit those numbers yet (my goal is to lose 80 pounds) but the mental changes have been the biggest issue for me. I already knew all the logistical parts about nutrition and exercise (raised by very healthy and fitness-obsessed parents) and knew exactly what I was doing when I gained all the weight. So it's been all mental changes.

For me, a big part of it was the realization that my feelings don't matter. All that negative talk, all the bad feelings, none of it has any effect in and of itself. Any weight loss or healthy change is due to tangible physical actions, not thoughts. If I feel bad and tell myself I'm worthless and failing, but still eat healthful foods within my calorie goal, then I'll lose weight. I don't have to act on those feelings.

Also, and this is one that I really struggle with, I had to realize that things in the past do not necessarily affect the future. Yes, every other time I've done this, I've given up and gained more weight than ever before. Yes, I have done things wrong and sabotaged myself before. But doing those things in the past has absolutely no bearing on whether I do them in the future. It all depends on the choices I make now. So what if I've screwed up before? This is not then. This is now. And I can choose to do whatever I want today, regardless of what I've done before.

Before when I tried to lose weight, as soon as people started noticing and complimenting me, I would backslide. I didn't really know a lot about the mechanics of health and fitness, but now I've immersed myself in it so I'm always in that mindset. I try to choose foods that are going to help me meet my macros and not my cravings, but if I have room, you know I'm gonna fit some chocolate in there! :bigsmile: Somehow I just stopped thinking about how far I have to go and just remember how far I've come. I focus on today, and I'll do the same thing tomorrow. If a family member says "it's a holiday, don't worry about what you're eating," I just smile and laugh, but I continue to log my food anyway. I only hear that from my ex's side of the family. My side is all up in everybody's fatness. :ohwell: You know I'm here to cheer you on!

Wow! See what great advice and support people here can give? Very inspiring! As far as my own story goes, many years ago I lost a LOT of weight. Though I have struggled since then with gaining and losing maybe 20 pounds here and there, I have managed to make enough lifestyle changes that the bulk of the weight I lost never returned.

Your question is interesting; and I think the answer is to tune IN to YOUR mental babble and tune OUT of the mental babble of OTHERS :-). In other words, when you are feeling confident and strong, listen to yourself. But, when the negative forces take hold (especially when they come from outside of you), it is ok to 'STFU' as you put it and put your head down to work! As others have mentioned, your obstacles are only temporary setbacks (and many of them only have as much strength of influence as YOU will allow).

You mention your kids as an inspiration. One of the best things you can do is start getting them to eat healthy, too (not obsessive). It will stay with them forever and will help keep you on track. You can find lots of support on here as well. Keep us posted on your progress and best of luck to you!