Any moms that started in their 30's out there?

heretocount
heretocount Posts: 46
edited December 24 in Chit-Chat
Hi, I am currently 27 and still no babies, it looks like I will be one of those moms that start later in life, and I just wanted some encouragement from other woman who have as well, I would love to hear your story of "late" motherhood, (moms that started in their 40's I would love to hear your story too =)

Replies

  • tibeck01
    tibeck01 Posts: 31 Member
    All through my 20's I watched my friends get married and start a family, always wondering when it would happen for me. I finished school, started my career and still felt something was missing. Then when I was 28 I met the man who became my husband. Had my son when I was 31. Before it finally happened for me, I HATED when people said "you are doing it smart" or "good for you...waiting until you are older." Because I did not enjoy the waiting. It was not what I wanted at all. It was not a choice, it was just the way it happened. Now I am older and I hear my friends complain that they didn't get to enjoy their 20's because they were married and having kids, or that they wish they had gotten their education first. I reallize that I am lucky. I have had the chance to have it all...single in my 20's...able to go to college with very little responsibility and then to reap the benefits of not supporting anyone but myself when I started working (benefits such as shopping and travel.) Now I am divorced and raising my son on my own and proud that I am able to. He is the most amazing child ever born and the best thing I have ever done in my life. Well worth the wait.
  • Claire594
    Claire594 Posts: 349 Member
    Like the last poster, I was in ny 30s when I became a mum. I was married in 2008 aged 31 and had my son in 2010 aged 33. I love being a mum and while I was ready to have kids long before my husband was, in a way I'm glad we waited because I was probably to selfish in my 20's and enjoying the freedom. In saying that, having my son was the best thing I have ever done and I can't wait to become a mum again (hopefully next year)
  • EBFNP
    EBFNP Posts: 529 Member
    Hi, I am currently 27 and still no babies, it looks like I will be one of those moms that start later in life, and I just wanted some encouragement from other woman who have as well, I would love to hear your story of "late" motherhood, (moms that started in their 40's I would love to hear your story too =)


    Interesting...I am 24 year old, and I think I can relate. I never been in a relationship. I focused on college, graduate school , and starting my career that I totally abandoned men. Now I am yearning for a relationship, but as I get closer to 25, I am getting nervous that my dreams of marriage and family are not going to come as quickly as I would like. I thought I would start having kids at 27, but I know I won't be ready when that time comes, so I guess 30+ is where I am headed. Nothing wrong with that, but I always thought I would be a younger mother. I can't believe it gets to me as much. I do enjoy my freedom at the moment though. I can live my 20s young, wild, and free. Many of my peers and family are envious that I can spend my money and time how I want. IDK...I am a walking contradiction....
  • mercinursi
    mercinursi Posts: 17 Member
    Hi, I was like pp and had my first one at 33, then another at 36. We completed our family when I was 47 with triplets. It can be done and I also think I am a much better mom for having waited to have them. Much more patient and selfless than I was. I am just getting to the point to where I wish we could do it again, but I know I will have to wait for grands this time. Funny thing is, with the triplets, my older two are in no hurry to have any children. LOL.
  • pretty_88
    pretty_88 Posts: 3
    I'm 33 going on 34 in oct. I've been trying to loose weight ever since i had my daughter . its been 7 1/2 yrs now.. i need to do something about this.
  • wish21
    wish21 Posts: 602 Member
    bump:) haha im neither of the above mention this is such an interesting read
  • ChasingHaven
    ChasingHaven Posts: 126 Member
    I was with my boyfriend/ husband for nine years before we were married, and I wanted to be married before we had a child. I was 32 when I had my son. A bit weird to have most of the parents at school functions so much younger than myself, but no big deal in the end. The only thing that concerns me is being here well into his life and hopefully my grandkids lives. I'm 46 now and both my parents are still living- in their late sixties and early seventies. When my son is 46, God willing I'll be heading into my eighties!
  • weighlossforbaby
    weighlossforbaby Posts: 847 Member
    Met hubby in 2006 online at 23 and married in 2007 at 24 years old. He was deployed in 2009-2010. We moved to Arkansas from Indiana in 2011 when he worked odd jobs and he retired from the National Guard. This year we are trying to conceive and I am 29 years old (will be 30 in January).
  • Jacole18
    Jacole18 Posts: 716 Member
    I'm going to be an "older" mom because I'm already 29 and I'm not even dating anyone!! Kids are nowhere on the horizon. Some days I think that's good, and other days I don't...to each their own :)
  • I can completely relate to this. I started babysitting young and then taught sunday school. I've always wanted a house full but I never could find a man to settle down with and start the journey. I finally got married when I was 28 I think and I turned 30 a couple of months after my daughter was born. Everything was fine, a lot of women are getting pregnant later in life. I wanted to have another one right away but life just kept getting in the way. Now I'm on the verge of divorce and my one child is a major handful but I am so blessed to have her. Wouldn't change the long years of waiting for her for anything.
  • mylameoww
    mylameoww Posts: 4 Member
    I had my first child at 35, then the second at 37. I guess that is late but I have known SO many women who have given birth at age 40, and my own mom had me at 30, so I guess I must have used that as a basis for not even thinking that I would have kids until 30. I am glad I waited because I feel I got to enjoy my youth in a way that I wanted, travel a lot etc, the only down side is I think I would have had more energy to keep up with active boys if I had been younger!! LOL I also seem to have mostly all mom friends with same age kids , that are also my age give or take a couple years, so I really don't feel like an old mom LOL
  • I love hearing all the story's every one thank you, it does encourge me =) cause I always thought I would have a ton of kids young in life, and so now I am rearragnging my perception, and it is nice that my husband and I have had about 5 years now to grow closer togther cause we don't have kids, and it has aforded us to do lot of fun things, and I guess also I have been wainting a baby now for soo long I really will apprecait it if it happens so there is that blessing
  • janjan369
    janjan369 Posts: 98 Member
    I met my husband right before we turned 21 years old. We dated for 8 years, married at 29 years old, and finally had a baby when we were 34 years old. Our daughter is now 3 years, and we are trying for another at 37. Maybe it's because most of our friends are not married, not having kids, or having their kids in their late 30's as well...but we wanted to take our time. We don't regret waiting so late - although our age is motivation to stay healthy!

    Good luck to you. Having a late start doesn't mean that you cannot enjoy motherhood and all the joys that come with it. It will be the most challenging and most rewarding phase in your life.
  • peles_fire
    peles_fire Posts: 501
    I had my first at 33 and second at 38. Don't regret waiting at all. Had a long run of time with just the husband and that was very good - we were able to make a really strong foundation together. That foundation has really been our saving grace during the early kid years - they have been tough on our relationship but we are still together and I wouldn't have it any other way.

    I have several friends who waited until their 40s and the only downside they found was some of them needed help conceiving or it took them longer to conceive than they anticipated. You should focus on getting your life where you want it and then when you are ready, the kids can happen. And when they do, you will feel like your life is 100x more complete. And you will find yourself uttering phrases you never thought you would like, "Honey, please put your penis away at the dinner table..." LOL! :)
  • momma3sweetgirls
    momma3sweetgirls Posts: 743 Member
    I didn't meet my husband until I was 26, got married at 28, I turned 30 two weeks after my first was born. We went on to have 3 more when I was 31, 33, and 35. The one downside I can foresee is if my kids wait until they're older to have kids, I'm going to be a really old grandma!
  • Jani2416
    Jani2416 Posts: 275 Member
    I had my 2nd child at 33, not too late. I tried to have a baby earlier, but had issues. I'm 38 now and my daughter is 5, it's been great.
  • tuneses
    tuneses Posts: 467 Member
    I had my first baby at 28 and second at 30 I love motherhood at this age. My husband is 8 years older than me. I feel l've had the time to do all the stupid things I wanted to do in my twenties and I am able to focus myself completely on the kids.
  • thetrishwarp
    thetrishwarp Posts: 838 Member
    I am not a parent, but I am the product of late parenthood.

    My parents had me at 32 and my brother at 36. They both have university degrees, married each other when they were 25, and did many of the things they wanted to do together. They travelled a lot, developed stable careers, were able to purchase their own house and ensure financial and emotional stability before having children.

    When they had us, it was a very conscious decision - but my mom always says she would not have done it any other way. She feels younger, because while her friends her age have children who are in their late 20s/early 30s and are becoming grandparents, she's got one in university and one in high school. To her, it's not a big rush to get us out of the house, either - she's not countig on travelling etc in retirement because she did it in her 20s.

    Personally, I want to follow a similar path and have kids closer to 30 as well. I want to have me time before I spend 18+ years on kid time.

    Edit to say: My grandparents were also older when they had my parents. My dads parents would be 95 and 96 if they were alive. My mom's parents are 90 and 88. I am 19. So...I guess it runs in the family!
  • manderson27
    manderson27 Posts: 3,510 Member
    I had my son at 36

    After a long long history of infertility my marriage couldn't take the strain and we split up. I met someone new and we were a little careless one night and bam I was pregnant. We are married now and have been together for 20 years.

    Our son 18 now and he is my miracle and my life.:love::love: :love:
  • christina0089
    christina0089 Posts: 709 Member
    I had both my son at 18 and my daughter at 23 so I was young with both and now at 34 (35 in November) My fiancee and I are considering another in a year or so. But I have mixed feelings on having a child so late as well so I am glad to see the responses here. Thanks for posting it!
  • michellevine1
    michellevine1 Posts: 185 Member
    I had my kids in my 30's. Just worked out that way! Enjoy the time right now your man.
  • banstett
    banstett Posts: 95
    I don't plan on waiting until I'm in my 30's but probably later 20's. I have donated my eggs 2 times to 2 couples and am going to do it a 3rd time starting this month. There are so many people trying to conceive in their mid to late 30's that have a difficult time trying to have a baby. I wish the best of luck to you all! :)
  • catshark209
    catshark209 Posts: 1,133 Member
    My mother had me when she was 38. She had had a few miscarriages and didn't think she was going to be able to carry me to term. I think it's made them better parents in a sense that they already had done what they wanted with their lives and then I came along.
    The hardest aspect of this is that they're in their early 80's and I'm only 36, and I worry about them so much.
    I tried to wait a while before I had my son but I held out till I was 25. In my town, that's considered "old". I live in a ghetto city.
  • nroisland
    nroisland Posts: 254 Member
    I was 29 when I had my first (October 09) and turned 30 in December of 09. Then got pregnant with my second 15 months later and had him at 31. It did take about a year to concieve my first and 1 try for my second lol.
    I've started to notice a lot more women are starting at an older age and personally I love it (even though now that I am in my 30's I do not think of myself as "older"). If you have any questions feel free to ask :).
  • dhakiyya
    dhakiyya Posts: 481 Member
    had my first at 30 and my second at 34

    I had 2 c-sections but given what's wrong with me that caused me to need them, it would have still happened if I had them at 20 and 24. there is a higher risk of complications if you have your babies later, but anyone can get complications. I'd recommend younger women to start having babies sooner rather than later, because there is a risk that some women will become less fertile as they get older and younger women have fewer complications and more energy (on the whole), but if you're already older and your life just didn't pan out that way, then it's really nothing to stress about too much. Also some of the decline in health as you get older is due to eating rubbish and not exercising. However old you are you can make your body "younger" by living a healthier lifestyle, and even some people in their 60s and 70s have transformed their bodies and reversed age related problems. I'm sure the same would apply to motherhood too, as your reproductive organs are still organs in your body. Good nutrition and a generally healthy lifestyle will reduce the risk of pregnancy complications and boost fertility. The ideal body fat % range for fertility is around 20-25% for women in their 30s if I recall correctly.
  • I'm glad to read everyone's posts....i'm 29 and still don't have any kids; but my husband has wanted kids for quite some time now. I've been over weight my whole life, and only now at 29 I am the thinnest I've EVER been...and I want to enjoy it! Is that selfish?! I
    m FINALLY growing to love myself....and I don't want it to end so soon! It literally just started for me. It seems as though everyone around me keeps asking "when are you gonna pop one out??". I feel it's no one's business, and frankly am getting so tired of being asked why I am waiting because I'm getting "too old". TOO OLD!? Really?! Since when is 29 old?? I'm SO happy to see that some of you had kids in your mid-30's. It leaves hope. Yeah yeah... I know i might be an old grandparent or whatnot...but if I'm going to give up my life for the life of a child, I need to be totally ready for it. A child deserves nothing less!

    Plus, I think it helps that the majority of my close friends around my age don't have kids yet either. If I'm going to be this 'old' parent at the school functions, or this 'ancient grandparent', at least I am not going to do it alone!


    p.s. Is anyone terrified of having teenagers?? LOL I know....random question; but apparently I think far into the future. :)
  • ackeebee
    ackeebee Posts: 1,042 Member
    Very interesting read! I guess I will fall in the "older mom" category as I am 33 with no kids.
  • celtbell3
    celtbell3 Posts: 738 Member
    Had my first at 31 and my second at 33 - it's been great. So glad I waited. Even though I'm an 'older' mom at the girls school - most of their friends moms are my friends and so my kids don't feel awkward.
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