Are We Setting Ourselves Up For Failure?

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  • p21usa
    p21usa Posts: 426 Member
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    Most of us live in a modern society where the fast food is easy and cheap and the advertising tells you to eat, consume, buy, treat yourself 24/7 365 days a year. The default is to be overweight and eat too much. As long as you live in a society like this you either take steps to combat the default setting or you eventually conform to the default. It's not as if you're not enjoying life now. You're just making a conscience decision to eat and exercise as if you didn't live in a microwave fast food society. That take some level of effort.

    Now for the payoff. Suppose you have traded in one master for another. Look at how well this new master treats you compared to the old one. Are you in danger of getting diabetes now? Is your new master driving you towards a heart attack? Are your knees hurting from not being overweight? Can you breath easier, enjoy your free time more fully and are you happy with the image you see in the mirror? The old eat eat eat master wanted you to be mindless but the trade-off is too large. You sacrifice your health, your dignity, and your ability to enjoy whatever it is you do when you're not eating.

    Logging your food honestly doesn't take more than 5 minutes out of my day. How much time did you spend in the closet before trying to find something that fit good and you weren't embarrassed to wear in public. I bet you wasted far more time trying on clothes, sighing, changing outfits, and posing in front of a mirror than you do logging your food each day. I used to have several favorite jeans that were the most comfortable. Now I don't even look. I just grab one and go because everything fits great. (Honestly too big now) I'll take that trade-off any day.

    You hit the nail on the head!!!
  • Skinnymunkii
    Skinnymunkii Posts: 191 Member
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    I just wanted to say there are some great replies in here. It's all about learning how to eat right, getting a feel for how much your body needs.
  • tryinghard71
    tryinghard71 Posts: 593
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    Congrats on your weight loss!!! I totally understand what you are saying. Have had the same exact thoughts. What I do is just the best I can. When I am home it is easier for me to be obsessive if that is what it is called. LOL! Count and measure everything. But I have learned to let go when I am on vacation or out to dinner with friends. I don't do that often so when I do I refuse to be "that" girl who says I can't have another glass of wine because of calories. I just live life. Don't get crazy. Still make the best choices I can but if I go over that day then I am over. I pick up where I left of the next day. This has not taken me off track to allow myself the freedom to enjoy a dinner here or there without stressing over the calories. But I promise you my butt is back on track the next day! :smile:
  • NWCountryGal
    NWCountryGal Posts: 1,992 Member
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    I often wonder once I reach my goal if I will lose interest. I hope not. I guess I will wait and see. I love getting outdoors, I am not a gym person. For me I think it will be more like brushing my teeth, just something I do everyday and feel great about it. If I am not happy and living my life to the fullest I can, I don't think anything on the outside of me will be lasting. A new body, a new car etc. I think that a new "mind set" is lasting. I believe it is an inside job that needs to get done for anything lasting for me.

    Just my thoughts;) denise

    Ok, hear me out, please. I've been overweight pretty much my entire life. I was "chubby" from 3rd grade through college. Developed eating disorders in college, lost a ton of weight and then gained it back. Got married, lost weight and did ok for ahwile. Had three babies in four years, gained a TON of weight. Never lost it all, added more to it. At my highest, I was 120 pounds overweight, NOT pregnant.

    My breaking point was an absolutely humilitaing experience with an OB/GYN. I won't go into detail, let's just say it was hands down the worst thing I've dealt with regarding my weight. Worse than all the teasing and harrasment I dealt with growing up, and I had a TON of it. I was teased for all sorts of things, weight was only one of them. I understand how it hurts when others put you down, demean you and belittle you to make themselves feel better. How others push you down to lift themselves up.

    I've lost 115 lbs over the past year. I made up my mind I was going to, and I did. It wasn't all sunshine and roses, but it wasn't hell on earth either. I did it mostly by eating less, making better food choices and minimal exercise. Now that I've hit my goal weight and I'm "maintaing" I have started walking. I love it, it's a great stress relief for me and I really enjoy the time outdoors. It's not just about keeping the weight off, but that is part of it.

    But I'm noticing something. Is what I am doing now helping or hurting me? Is counting every step I take, every mile I log, every gram of sugar I eat, every glass of water, something I will be able to and WANT to do long term, for the rest of my life? Am I setting myself up for failure, by making crazy expectations of myself that I will not continue to do a year from now? Am I going to get burned out on tracking, weighing, measuring, analyzing everything and all of what I do everyday? Am I now a slave to this "healhty" lifestyle instead of my "obese" one? I'm thinking I am, or at least on that road.

    I know that this will hit a nerve w/a lot of people. This is a lifestyle for many, and it's one they embrace wholeheartedly. I just know that sometimes I see myself and what I am doing now and worry that I am not going to maintain it, not because I don't have the willpower to do so but because it's just too much. I'm switching my obsessing over being to fat and what others think of me to obsessing over what I need to do to lose weight or maintain my weight or work out a part of my body better or walk more. For me it's just trading one issue for another.

    I'd be interested in what you all think. I'm sure this isn't going to sit well with many, that's ok. I just worry that if we really want to better our lives, live better, live healthier, be more "there" for our families, can it be done in a way that isn't going to be unrealisitc to maintain for our whole lives?
  • saraimam
    saraimam Posts: 3
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    I always wish I had the spirit of a toddler/baby. The extreme determination I've seen my daughter show just to sit-up, crawl, walk etc... Toddlers are really strong small people. Maybe we should be inspired by those youngsters we see everyday! :smile:
  • almostatgoalweight
    almostatgoalweight Posts: 234 Member
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    Some things are possible, and a few things are probable. I've seen a lot of people fail at weight loss (myself included). Why did they fail? Because losing (or maintaining) was not as important in their life as it could have been.

    Weight loss is the perfect example of effort in, results out.
  • Killing_Perfection
    Killing_Perfection Posts: 79 Member
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    Who said we all need to log for eternity? Losing weight isn't a static process, it's dynamic, it's some kind of change. Before I joined here I had already lost about 30 pounds and maintained without a problem for years, even lost slowly. I ate pizza and snacks and drank juice, the only thing I did was working out 5 days a week for 20 minutes (as they say, you can't outrun yout diet, or I'd be at my goal already, herp). Of course you can't stuff yourself every day, but what is once a week? If you see a negative change just get up and work out more rigorously for a week!

    We learned so much here - or at least I did - it's not something you forget! Living means fighting, and this is no different - but it's not a lost fight. It's possible, and any doubt about that should be put aside.

    If you want something, you have to push - but all of us should know by now that it's worth it.

    I will kick butt and I will continue doing so after reaching my goal. Simple as that.
  • Hope502012
    Hope502012 Posts: 98 Member
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    I think that along with fitness and weight loss comes confidence and self belief. My feelings of being overwhelmed are rapidly being replaced with knowing that I can achieve my goals, be it in small steps. I am sure that as time goes on you will not have doubts but will feel that the calorie counting and exercise are quality time that you are giving yourself. All the very best :)
  • poodlelaise
    poodlelaise Posts: 149 Member
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    I'm switching my obsessing over being to fat and what others think of me to obsessing over what I need to do to lose weight or maintain my weight or work out a part of my body better or walk more. For me it's just trading one issue for another.

    One of my favorite quotes:

    "Obsessed is a word the lazy use to describe the dedicated."
  • Dave198lbs
    Dave198lbs Posts: 8,810 Member
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    I have been doing this quite awhile. Don't worry about sticking with your current way of doing things. IMO, you are worrying about the future and there isnt too much value in that,

    Keep doing what you are doing. The reason I mentioned that I have been doing this for awhile is that after you have been doing it a long time, it just becomes a part of your daily deal and it isnt a chore or something to obsess about or worry about. It's just what we do. It's a good thing.

    After all this time I can now keep a fairlyy accurate running total of what I have eaten and sometimes dont actually get around to logging every single snack or meal. I still try to log everything because I like to hit the finished for the day key on my log and put some closure to the day.

    Hang in there and think positive. Soon this way of doing things becomes second nature and it doesnt have to be a big deal.

    good luck
  • johnvargo112233
    johnvargo112233 Posts: 11
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    I do not think we are setting ourselves up for failure. However, I think it is relative to each person.

    I will use myself as an example. Four years ago, I was 280 lbs at 6ft even. Over the span of a year and a half I lost 125lbs. I also figured out how to live without counting calories by simply watching portion size, exercising, and making smart food decisions. I kept the weight off for another two years.

    Then I became unemployed, and it hit me harder than I expected. I am only 30 and I had been with this company for six years and had managed to take promotions and relocate. Needless to say, that profession was part of my identity. When it was gone, I got depressed and did not know what to do with myself.

    For six months, I quit working out, my drinking picked up, and I ate anything without regard to my health. I ended up gaining back 30lbs while trying to find out what I was going to do. Now that I have moved on, I realized how quickly I can put weight back on.

    To get things back under control and lose this weight again, I have to go back to tracking physical activities and calories.That is what brought me to MFP, plus the social interaction adds extra motivation. But, I know when the time comes to maintain, I can do it by simply watching portion size, exercise, and making smart food decisions.

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