Not able to forgive myself?

xxmzangel
xxmzangel Posts: 119 Member
in Motivation and Support
Being a recovering binger, I still slip up sometimes. My problem isn't simply getting back to eating healthy, that in itself is not that hard for me. It's dealing with the guilt I get after a binge.

I am in that exact place right now. I went overboard on Friday, ate well yesterday, started today off well, but it's gone downhill tremendously fast. I keep telling myself it's not the end of the world, problem is, I don't seem to be able to believe it. I was about to go and grab some crap food out of the freezer, but somehow managed to get on here instead.

I just don't know what to do, and as a recovering self-mutilator as well as binger, I'm stuck in a hard spot right now, and any help or advice would be very much appreciated...

Replies

  • deannakittygirl
    deannakittygirl Posts: 228 Member
    try to not feel to guilty we all go overboard. today started good for you so try to distract yourself. I am glad you decided to post here instead of binge or mutilate. I would suggest getting. out of the house for a bit. go for a nice walk, bike ride ir even a swim. just get up and do something to get your mind away from negative thoughts please. I hope I can encourage you to have better thoughts and good luck. if you need more encouragement feel free to friend me.
  • Bigkmc78
    Bigkmc78 Posts: 21 Member
    Hey there! Do you know what it is that prompts you to binge? I guess because of the history that there are other reasons than boredom etc. Just remember, you are worth the journey you are on and the place you want to get to but it's all in your hands... One day at a time - if you slip up then it's already done; no point crying over spilt milk. We all have moments of weakness - you just need to find out what prompts yours. Good luck!
  • tempest501
    tempest501 Posts: 329 Member
    Do not worry we all have cheat days. Are you trying to be too strict with your diet? I think if people try to do these insane fad diets or go to far with something like a low carb diet its easy to slip because it is to much of a shock to the system. I think sit important to not cut out everything you should still eat the things you like its just about doing it in moderation.

    Hope you feel better soon.
  • Eleanorjanethinner
    Eleanorjanethinner Posts: 563 Member
    Don't focus so much about how you think and feel, just control how you act!

    Get out of the house, do something distracting - play a computer game, read a book, housework, is there something you could do to help someone else? Or with someone else? Do whatever so you're occupied, not overthinking and not binging!

    Best wishes for your journey! :smile:
  • PayneAS
    PayneAS Posts: 669 Member
    Being a recovering binger, I still slip up sometimes. My problem isn't simply getting back to eating healthy, that in itself is not that hard for me. It's dealing with the guilt I get after a binge.

    I am in that exact place right now. I went overboard on Friday, ate well yesterday, started today off well, but it's gone downhill tremendously fast. I keep telling myself it's not the end of the world, problem is, I don't seem to be able to believe it. I was about to go and grab some crap food out of the freezer, but somehow managed to get on here instead.

    I just don't know what to do, and as a recovering self-mutilator as well as binger, I'm stuck in a hard spot right now, and any help or advice would be very much appreciated...

    If you are having a hard time controlling yourself, you might want to consider cleaning out your fridge/pantry/whatever and donating it to a local food pantry. Then go shopping and buy only healthy foods to restock with. You can't eat crap food if you don't have any in your house. I did it and it is great!
  • WarriorReady
    WarriorReady Posts: 571 Member
    Hey there! Do you know what it is that prompts you to binge? I guess because of the history that there are other reasons than boredom etc. Just remember, you are worth the journey you are on and the place you want to get to but it's all in your hands... One day at a time - if you slip up then it's already done; no point crying over spilt milk. We all have moments of weakness - you just need to find out what prompts yours. Good luck!

    ^^This. You are worth this journey and you started down a healthier path for yourself. Instead of the guilt focus on what you have done well. Make a list of positives and post it on your mirrors and on your refrigerator door. When you feel like binging maybe only allow yourself to have carrots or something that doesn't do the same kind of damage. You are worth it. Life's a garden, dig it! Love your life and who you are because you were made for better than self guilt! (((Hugs))) Take care!
  • Clew
    Clew Posts: 910 Member
    The number one skill to master when you are trying to change your life is to learn to forgive yourself. The past is the past - unchangeable. The future is still fluid. Start fresh. Don't look back. Be kind to yourself.

    Best wishes :flowerforyou:
  • susiebear29
    susiebear29 Posts: 266
    II really feel for you hun, I have had the same problems in the past, please don't beat yourself up over it you are human you can't be perfect we all have bad days and days when we just stuff our faces to try and make ourselves feel happy, I used to feel guilty after a binge and then that would make me sad so I'd eat more!! you can't change it now all you can do is change the future, you said you managed to stop yourself and came on here instead that is great you are stronger than you realise!! you've lost loads of weight you're doing so well and should be proud of yourself!! im sure you have lots of support already but feel free to add me or message me anytime if you need to talk, take care and keep smiling!! :smile:
  • MFPBrandy
    MFPBrandy Posts: 564 Member
    Oh honey, we all mess up now and then. None of us are perfect, no matter how easy some people may make it sound (if it was truly that easy, they wouldn't need to use MFP, would they?).
    Coming here for support is great. I also like the idea another poster had about getting outside for a walk. Are you in school, or have one other access to a counselor? These are real issues you have, and so many people have gne before you and come up with a lot of ways to help deal with them. I can't recommend counseling enough to help you find good coping mechanisms when this kind of stuff strikes.
    I hope you are feeling better about yourself soon. Forgive yourself--you didn't do anything bad or wrong.
  • Bobby_Clerici
    Bobby_Clerici Posts: 1,828 Member
    Being a recovering binger, I still slip up sometimes. My problem isn't simply getting back to eating healthy, that in itself is not that hard for me. It's dealing with the guilt I get after a binge.

    I am in that exact place right now. I went overboard on Friday, ate well yesterday, started today off well, but it's gone downhill tremendously fast. I keep telling myself it's not the end of the world, problem is, I don't seem to be able to believe it. I was about to go and grab some crap food out of the freezer, but somehow managed to get on here instead.

    I just don't know what to do, and as a recovering self-mutilator as well as binger, I'm stuck in a hard spot right now, and any help or advice would be very much appreciated...
    Just stop doing absurd, self-destructive things. Elementary!
    If your solutions seem more complicated than this, you need a shrink or something.
    To anybody in touch with reality, the resolution self-evident.
    Just stop. Never do that again.
    That's it.
    Good Luck :drinker:
  • MFPBrandy
    MFPBrandy Posts: 564 Member
    II really feel for you hun, I have had the same problems in the past, please don't beat yourself up over it you are human you can't be perfect we all have bad days and days when we just stuff our faces to try and make ourselves feel happy, I used to feel guilty after a binge and then that would make me sad so I'd eat more!! you can't change it now all you can do is change the future, you said you managed to stop yourself and came on here instead that is great you are stronger than you realise!! you've lost loads of weight you're doing so well and should be proud of yourself!! im sure you have lots of support already but feel free to add me or message me anytime if you need to talk, take care and keep smiling!! :smile:
    This. ^
    I just checked your profile, and you HAVE already lost a lot of weight. You're doing great! Nothing you did over the past few days undoes that hard work you've already put into yourself. Give yourself some credit; you're doing so well.
  • TOOFATTOMOVE
    TOOFATTOMOVE Posts: 25 Member
    Sometimes it is so easy for someone to say "Stop" because it is self-destructive, but they don't understand your pain and why you have made the choices you have. You have some good and bad advice replies, unfortunately, it is up to you to figure out which is which. I do however, recommend you don't listen to anyone who simply tells you to "stop" - I do suggest you look at:

    Tell yourself that no one is perfect but work to better yourself and avoid making the same mistake in the future. Really look at the impossible feelings of guilt and regret within.

    Ask yourself "could I have made a better choice?"

    Let your impossible feelings go, a little at a time, as you work to improve yourself as a person.

    Sandy
  • angusmike
    angusmike Posts: 97
    Try very hard to visualize the result. Think about the positive impact on your health and self-esteem that success will bring. If you happen to have a relapse, don't beat yourself up, start over and resolve to do better. You have a sympathic and supportive audience here.

    At age 62, i've been diagnoised with diabetes. I'm coping with a not too radical weight loss goal, but with some challenging (for me) diet restrictions. It is forcing me to exercise again and I'll be the better for it.

    Hang in there. Be positive about every little victory and use any set backs as learning experiences. :happy:

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