Self Sabotaging

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Shannonk507
Shannonk507 Posts: 252 Member
in Motivation and Support
Any suggestions for self-sabotaging? Mainly related to being stoked and really into wanting to lose weight -- doing great for the first 20 pounds (with about 100 more to go after that) and slipping back to not exercising as much as I want and then making lesser than healthy food choices and "choices of old" yet feeling crappy about it. Dang, I whine a lot. Maybe I need to put that energy into going to the gym more often. Sorry so long...just frustrated that I seem to hit a wall at twenty lost every time I attempt and then get frustrated. A lot depends on my need to lose weight and there are so many more good reasons to do so. Thanks for listening to me friends.

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  • ashwe84
    ashwe84 Posts: 9 Member
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    I know how you feel. I do the same thing. Someone once told me don't look at the overall goal. It gets too overwhelming. Make small goals at a time. Hope that helps. It helps me :)
  • Nikiki
    Nikiki Posts: 993
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    I've yo-yo'd up and down so many times do to self sabatage.

    What's helped me this time (I'm down 22lbs and no sign of slowing down!)
    *slowing my weekly goals: I had it set for 2lbs and actually dropped it to .5lb because on the days I would bomb it would seem like it was too hard, too rediculously out of the ballpark for me to get back on the wagon. Now on the rare occasion I have a pity party and have a bad few days it's super easy to get back on track, and I know once I meet my goal I'll be able to stay there because i'm eating so realistically now.
    *setting mini goals that are both weight and non weight related: there are weeks I drop inches but not lbs, there will be weeks I don't lose either but I might add weight to my squats, drop a few seconds off my mile runs or fit into a smaller size. I constantly have an easily attainable goal within reach so I never feel like I have that far to go before the next one.
    *looking at my calories as a weekly goal rather than a daily goal. There will be days I go over and I know I like to go out to eat on the weekends, but during the week I often don't hit my calorie goal building myself a cushion so I know my dinner out isn't going to sabatage my weight loss. This has helped a LOT because I used to get to a restaurant saying "I'm just gonna have a salad becaus I only have 550 calories left for the day" then my husband would order an appetizer and I'd be hungry and two mozzarella sticks in I'm ordering a cheeseburger, fries and brownie sundae, which I wouldnt log because I'd feel guilty and that guilt would turn to self pity which would turn to sel sabatage. Knowing I had a cushion of 500 from the week plus the 550 calorie dinner allowance makes it easier for me to make a rational choice and not feel deprived and honsestly I find in eating less even with the cushion!

    Hope some of this helps you!
  • Blaineyyy
    Blaineyyy Posts: 151 Member
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    I definitely agree with the small goals. Personally, I have around 60lbs more to lose despite having lost 35lbs already, and when you look at it that way it can seem like you'll never reach it! But I'm looking at the loss 5lbs at a time, and you'll find that hitting these small targets makes you more determined each time, because you're closer and have more to strive for in the short AND long term.

    Also, remind yourself of how good you felt when you were first losing - when the first few inches came off and the pounds were melting away, and the confidence you gained from knowing that your efforts had paid off, and THEN think of how much you could multiply that feeling by reaching your actual goal! Must feel immense, right? Well, you don't know that unless you get there first, so get going. :wink:
  • bulbadoof
    bulbadoof Posts: 1,058 Member
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    Cook in batches and freeze individual meals together, if possible. Chilis, rice/quinoa/spaghetti squash dishes, meat-and-veggies ensembles, and soups/stews have all proven great for freezing from my experience. Heat it up in the microwave or the oven and you've got a delicious, nutritious meal in no time! If you make healthy food convenient, you're more likely to choose it over equally convenient unhealthy food.

    As for slacking on exercising, perhaps you could join a class and make a couple friends there? You'll want to keep going back if you grow attached to the people you exercise with.
  • Stary714
    Stary714 Posts: 110 Member
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    I know that feeling very well, but you just have to remember how good it feels to know your working towards your goal. Or how good it felt when you lost that first 10-20 pounds. I hit 20 lbs lost a few days ago and I felt wonderful!

    I don't know about other people but when I even just get to log a pound lost it makes me feel great!

    Hopes this helps! :)
  • utahgirl247
    utahgirl247 Posts: 370 Member
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    i can relate to it all. i found this website and listened to a pod cast that was wonderful. you may want to try it out and see what you get out ot it.

    http://www.weightlossguru.com/blog/motivation/why-do-we-self-sabotage-when-it-comes-to-weight-loss
  • katglaze
    katglaze Posts: 45 Member
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    A couple of things has finally helped me. I was uncomfortable with attention that I had lost weight. I had to be in a safe place to know that I would be okay if I lost all my weight and kept it off, it is a mental huge step. I have tried to deal with it before, but until now it did not work. I have said it a thousand times, losing the weight, but long term keeping it off has been an issue. I also have decided good bad or ugly I log it. Some days are awful but at least I am not lying to myself. I also faced the reality that for the rest of my life I will need to exercise, laying on the couch is not a reality if I want to be thin really. I have to be active even when I dread it, some days it is easy some days are hard but looking great is amazing so I keep going.
  • HeadBangingBabe
    HeadBangingBabe Posts: 15 Member
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    I don't go to bed at night until I know exactly what I'm going to eat the next day. I log it to hold myself accountable, so I won't give into temptation. It has kept me on track so far. :) Sometimes, it's just so easy to "reward" yourself, or to convince yourself that one little snack won't hurt...but that puts us back on an unhealthy path. :( Stay strong! Search the forums for low cal/low fat snack ideas, or try a new recipe! It will seem adventurous and new and exciting, and more fulfilling than sabotage.
  • Rocking_Robin
    Rocking_Robin Posts: 238 Member
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    I can totally relate as well!! I am an emotionl eater. I am better physcally and mentally than I was in Dec 2010 when I joined MFP but I still have a ways to go. I have been yo-yoing for months now, I keep losing and gaining the same 8 pounds
    I have a disabled husband, we do not have it easy, I am more stressed than I would even like to admit..
    What I am trying to do is look at the positives in my life versus looking at the negatives to see if that helps change my weight loss for the better. Stress sadly runs my life way too often, so I keep trying to work on letting my stress go more often. My workouts are good, my food is good maybe 75% of the time, so that is where I am doing my own sabotage.
    I have found that if I put my stress into my workouts I am better, for me when my stress is at bay, my focus on my food is better.

    I am hopeful that I am on the right track to a better me! I hope you find something that works for you.
  • bodiva88
    bodiva88 Posts: 308 Member
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    Both Ashle and Nikiki have good ideas. I set my goal at a pound a week, even though that means a long time to my goal, because it seemed if I may slow incremental changes in eating and exercise, I'd be more likely to stick with them.

    I try to plan for difficult days (when I'm going out or will have a heavy workload) by planning extra exercise and a bit less consumption the day before and after. Then when I go over that day, it isn't affecting my week and my progress adversely.

    And I have many interim goals.
    Get off BP med (which should be between 250 and 275)
    Take the horseback tour of Gettysburg (must weigh less than 250)
    Go to Machu Pichu (I think my asthma specialist will ok that around 230)
    Not be obese any more (180)
    Ride horseback in Hyde Park (must be less than 175)
    Be at a healthy weight 150.

    So everywhere along the way there's a reason for me to be there at that point of my progress.

    See if setting up something like that gives you more consistent motivation.

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