Gym Partners

jly33403 · July 2012

So my mother and I have recently entered on the weightloss journey together. She is much bigger than me and, because of her weight, more shy, so going to the gym alone is hard for her. We usually go at night around 8-9 o'clock. My issue is that I am fine going to the gym alone and would rather go around 6-7, when I'm more motivated. Our work schedules don't work well enough together that it would be feasible to have us both go at that time.

I want to support my mom and I know if I went at a different time she wouldn't go. What advice do you have?

ckmama · July 2012

I would try to motivate her to go earlier. Really being shy at the gym is all in someone's head....Mine included. If she can't get past it I would tell her that you will go a couple of nights at the late time but on other day's you are going to start going earlier.

Bunnehface · July 2012

How many times a week do you go to the gym? If it was say, 3 times, could you go twice with her and once alone or vice versa? Is there something else you could do together that wasn't at a gym - swimming, walking, cycling...an exercise/dance class? Just going to the gym isn't the only way to lose weight and get fitter together - have a look around your local area and see if there are any alternatives. Hope this helps - good luck! X

DorisInTheDena · July 2012

This is precisely why I don't have as gym partner. My son and I joined together but I go when it is convenient for me to go. If he goes then fine. You have to do what is right for you and not let anyone hold you back. I would explain the situation to your mom. Maybe after she loses a little bit of weight she will feel more confident going earlier. It might sound mean but do what you have to do for you!

MellyGibson · July 2012

I tell people that the people at the gym are there to focus on THEMSELVES (well, unless they're looking to hook up, I suppose). Nobody really cares what everyone else is doing unless they are just taking up space (read the "Pet Peeves in the Gym" threads).

As for taking CLASSES - as an instructor I can tell you that people are either A) Looking at the instructor or

Looking at themselves in the mirror. That's what I tell people that are new to my class and are intimidated that they'll look funny. Honey, we all have to start out somewhere, and I applaud EVERY over-weight person, no matter WHAT they're doing. Because they ARE doing.

Congratulations to both you and your mother for working to improve yourselves!

CA_Emily · July 2012

A few ideas:

1. Get on a schedule and go with her a few nights a week, but exercise alone at your preferred time several times a week. Maybe work into this by going to the gym together a few times, but choosing to do activities that are located in other areas of the gym- that way she can "practice" working out by herself, but you are still there.

2. Encourage her to take classes or try other group activities at the gym that might boost her confidence.

3. Encourage her to schedule one or two sessions with a personal trainer- maybe working with a trainer a few times would boost her confidence and help her set up a routine she'd feel comfortable doing alone.

4. If you have enough time, do you workout early then do something easy alongside her while she's working out (ex. she does cardio on the treadmill, you walk slowly on the one next to her).

I think pretty much everyone feels self conscious at the gym. You just have to take a deep breath and start sweating. Once you're working out hard enough you don't have time to spend wondering if people are judging you. And it is important that this is something she can do on her own. This is a lifestyle change which means for life. If she finds the gym that uncomfortable encourage her to try something else that she might enjoy doing- even on her own.

Topsking2010 · July 2012

Maybe you think of all the sacrifices your mom made for you when you were a kid. Be happy she has chosen to make a lifestyle change in her life.

Support her no matter what time she wants to exercise!!!

Nessiechickie · July 2012

I workout alone and personally... I love it!

Why don't you try give and take.
One day you go at the time you want and invite her, if she doesn't go, she doesn't go.
Then the other day you go at the time she wants to go.
After awhile even if she isn't going to the gym every time you go she should notice a difference in her body and maybe she will become more comfortable with her body and then you both can go earlier.

hongruss · July 2012

I say bite the bullet & think of all the times your Mum put herself out for you. As parents get older they look to their kids for acceptance BUT we don't see it as they are always our parents. I say she is very proud of you & obviously gains confidence from you being around, YOU are her motivation for now

Russ

SilkyHotspur · July 2012

Go twice. Go once for yourself, and go once for your mom. Yes, it's a lot more time out of your day, however, the more you are in that environment, the more accountable you will become to yourself, and to your mom. You will want to do your "work", so that when she is going, you can help encourage her. If she stays with it, she stays with it, the best you can do is to just be there when she wants to go.

jly33403 · July 2012

Thanks for your input everyone. One of you almost got me choked up talking about how my mother wants acceptance. Until she is more comfortable going alone, I'll jut my jaw and go later with her.

jjmnet · July 2012

Great choice! She will come around. I did the same thing for my aunt and she continued on her journey and went from size 20+ to 14. I was super proud of her - she road her bike with her friends and walked to work. She just needs your support and love - you are a good kid..lol.

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