Kids and summer SCHEDULES

GPSHEALTHCOACHING · July 2012

I have 4 kids (15, 13, 8 and 6) and I can't handle CHAOS!!!! I love having them at home over summer but THEY DRIVE ME CRAZY! They fight over the ps3, the tv, just about anything! In years past I've always had them on a schedule... I practically schedule their ENTIRE DAY in half hour segments and it helps with no fighting! Plus things like meal times and chore times, bathroom times, summer school work all get done in a timely fashion.

Here's my problem...... My kids are all old enough to realize that NO OTHER FAMILY DOES THIS!! Hahahaha. They are fighting me on having a schedule. A part of me wants to just have a chill summer and come and go as we please but then ALL HELL BREAKS LOSE AND I GO OFF THE DEEP END!!!! :P

Am I completely crazy? or too controlling? How do YOU handle summer and kids? Especially if you have lots like me!

AABru · July 2012

Mine are 3 and 5, and there are certain parts of the day that are always the same...we eat meals and rest at the same time everyday. We get ready for bed and read at the same time everyday--unless there is a special event. I am starting checklists for chores that need to be done because their play time leaves the house looking like a small tornado went through it, and I am sick of cleaning up their mess every night. As for the rest of the day, they play...or we swim...or we visit someone. They are obnoxious, and they do drive me crazy somedays, but I only have 2, not 4...

kcoftx · July 2012

My kids can't get on the computer until 10am. Why? I've made it to where it won't accept my password until that time. I was tired of them getting on it before they have even woken up fully. I try to remember to also take the game controllers to my room before I go to bed as well. They have to get up, eat breakfast, brush their teeth, put new clothes on and do their chores before they can ask for their controllers. Even if I forget to take the controllers, they are responsible for asking me first. If not, they can lose their electronics for the full day.

I don't schedule times for the game systems other than it can't be before a certain hour and it shuts down at a certain hour. Occasionally it is a problem and we have to work through the compromises. They've learned to make suggestions themselves or they just don't get the game systems because I could care less if they get to play and they know it. Having said that, my youngest is not always mature enough to handle this approach yet. I let them try it but I try not to punish the older kids for his reluctance to problem solve.

Generally it is less of an issue though because we are only home half the week. The other half, I plan things for us to go and do. I hate having them home all day on electronics 7 days a week.

kcoftx · July 2012

There are several consequences to fighting. They either lose the item for a duration of time and nobody gets it, they are forced to sit and talk out what would be a fair solution (typically only used for in the moment solution) or they have to have a schedule. If they don't want a schedule, sit and talk about an alternative. (Keep in mind that your youngest may still need more leeway and guidance on this to make it work). If they can't find a solution that is workable for all then there are logical consequences for that. Either you give them a solution (schedule) or they lose completely.

GPSHEALTHCOACHING · July 2012

I blame it on "Super Nanny" hahahaha She ALWAYS puts those kiddos on some sort of schedule! LOL

Anyone schedule their kids? Looks like its just ME! :P

Maybe I do need to work on teaching the younger ones "conflict resolution." My older ones arent too bad. They argue over tv shows and what to watch though.....

kcoftx · July 2012

There is nothing wrong with scheduling.

As for conflict resolution, the easiest way to go about it is to take the object of conflict away for both until an agreement has been reached. Don't let them go off and fight about it. Insist that they talk it out right there in front of you. Often I pretend to do something else while they are discussing so that they don't depend on me to be a mediator but I am there to ensure they don't resort to fighting mode and to listen for potential bullying of one party against another. Every once in awhile I have to ask a guiding question or make a point but I try to let them work it out themselves. Sometimes their answers surprise me. One kid might give his brother twice as much time on video games if he just lets him play while his friend is there, for example. One brother might realize the other will be gone most of the day anyway so he gets first choice for the day. It can be interesting. But at first it can be a battle you have to help them through.

As for tv, most of it can be watched on the computer so mine rarely fight over that. There is no time attached to the programming.

kcoftx · July 2012

P.S. I'm a heavy scheduler too but usually during the school year. In the summer I have some schedule but a lot less of it in general.

tansygreen · July 2012

My kids are 7 and 4. I've never had a schedule before, but this year I have written a schedule, although I haven't stuck to it religiously. It's just there to make sure when I'm really braindead and frazzled from trying to keep them entertained, I can look at it and it gives me ideas. I've made sure to include something everyday that's physical and somethign that's calm. I've just go thtings like swimming, bike rides, nice big playgrounds, beach, nothing too fancy. Then I'm trying to make sure at least once a fortnight we do something a bit more exciting that we wouldn't normally do during schooltime, like somethign we have to drive out of town and make a day of it.
Our weather has been really crap - constant rain for whole weeks at a time so I've been having to improvise. I'm trying to get them out of the house early in the morning just to try to make sure they don't get too much TV though.

It seems to be working for us, but maybe because I haven't made it too rigid, and obviously I have to include some time in the house playing or watching TV or whatever, so I can get my jobs around the house done too.

My kids definitely argue more if they are bored. It's exausting sticking to a schedule but at least then they go to bed and sleep well at night!

I'm only in my second week of school hols though lets see how calm I am about this after then eighth week!!

Kids and summer SCHEDULES

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