In need of relationship advice

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Plussizebritt
Plussizebritt Posts: 59 Member
in Motivation and Support
sorry this is totally off topic but I don't know where else to turn. I really want to leave my boyfriend I'm so tired of putting up with him being drunk all time and he's never around and always calling me a dumb *kitten* when he's drunk he even got mad at his mother because she cooked his french fries crazy right then he's with his cousin every single day I know every relationship needs there space but that never happens in my relationship I been with him since I was 15 I was wondering how can I strong enough to stop answering his calls and also stop calling him?

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  • ryansgram
    ryansgram Posts: 693 Member
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    You shouldn't have to put up with someone calling you a dumbass. Stand your ground. Stop calling him and let him no you are no longer going to put up with his BS. Maybe once he sees that you aren't going to take it anymore he will stop being an a**. If you are sure you want to get away from him then you have to be strong girl! Just keep saying to yourself that you are worth more than that and you deserve better. Hold your head up high and walk away. You are worth it!
  • liftingheavy
    liftingheavy Posts: 551 Member
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    Hey, we are all on the forums for support, so no worries.

    It seems as though you have already had enough, and are wondering how to actually pull the trigger and end the relationship. It's hard when you've been with someone for a long time. I would say three things:

    1. While you are with him and unhappy, the man you are supposed to be with cannot find you. You deserve to be treated with respect, and a man who is constantly drunk and verbally abusive is disrespectful.

    2. This man has no reason to change when he has women in his life that continue to support his behavior. Someone who yells at his mother over french fries needs professional help.

    3. You are far from a dumbass. What a ridiculous word. You already recognize this is not good, and are taking a great first step by asking for opinions. Maybe he's calling you a dumbass because you are still with him??

    Good Luck and do the right thing girl. Trust me, there are worthy men out there.
  • tiffeh345
    tiffeh345 Posts: 43 Member
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    First of all, a man should respect a woman and vice versa. If he isn't going to respect you, then you don't need him. Relationships aren't supposed to be like that. I was in a bad relationship once. It took me a LONG time to figure out that it wasn't right. After I did, I was better off. The guy constantly called me fat. It was not good. I had never been in a "serious" relationship so I thought that was how it was supposed to be. Luckily I finally came to my senses. I think you deserve someone who will have enough self respect to not get drunk all the time and not to call you names. Some people say that they cannot help what they say/do when they are drunk. This could be true, but people also have the choice to drink or not. Someone that loves you will not disrespect you like that.

    Every time he calls, just think about all the times he has disrespected you. Think about how awesome it would be if you didn't have to worry about the drunken name calling.

    I know it probably doesn't help much, but that is my take on it.
  • glovepuppet
    glovepuppet Posts: 1,710 Member
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    if you don't respect yourself then men won't respect you either.

    every time you're tempted to talk to this bozo you need to remind yourself that you're too good for him. and you need to believe it.
  • Plussizebritt
    Plussizebritt Posts: 59 Member
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    Thank you all!!! what all of you are saying is sinking in my head I'm just 22 and he's my first boyfriend he called 3 times already I didn't answer yay felt great.
  • glovepuppet
    glovepuppet Posts: 1,710 Member
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    you're a beautiful girl.

    there are plenty of guys out there who'll want some of what you've got so you can afford to be picky.

    the fact that he keeps on calling proves that you're worth chasing, even if he's not worthy of catching.
  • warmachinejt
    warmachinejt Posts: 2,167 Member
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    wait so you haven't officially called it off? Is he aggressive or something? You should be careful and have a phone in hand in case you need to dial emergency.
  • trinae2082
    trinae2082 Posts: 1
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    Its good that you posted this here. I have learned that stress plays a major role when struggling to live a healthy lifestyle. The best way to stay strong is to stay occupied. Workout, chill with friends, shop or maybe even be open to finding a new male friend. Keep yourself surrounded by positive people.
  • sarrylove
    sarrylove Posts: 88
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    Stay strong girl and realize that you deserve better for yourself! Lean on people in your life that will support you and support you in your decision. And of course....you have the people here on MFP :)
  • Plussizebritt
    Plussizebritt Posts: 59 Member
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    I've tried to call it off numerous of times and he'll always say we are not breaking up and no he isn't aggressive I guess he's verbally abusive.

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