Trying to lose weight but feeling like a bad wife/mom

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got2gethealthy
got2gethealthy Posts: 16 Member
in Motivation and Support
I am around 150 pounds overweight. I have lost 49 lbs since the middle of April and have hit a plateau. I am a food addict. I have cut all wheat and dairy out of my diet and have been trying to lose weight eating healthy food. The problem is that I have a husband and 3 boys (none of them have a weight problem) who like to and of course need to eat. Right now I am having a really hard time cooking food. I feel like I am tempted and triggered when I am cooking and I have been avoiding cooking. I will make them easy stuff that I can just pop in the oven from the freezer or I will even buy them fast food or order pizza :( Tonight my husband complained that I don't cook for them anymore. I tried to explain to him that it is hard for me and that I feel like I need a break from cooking because I don't want to eat certain foods and that they don't want to eat anything healthy that I would cook for them. He asked me if I was weak and if that is why I couldn't cook. I told him that yes I do feel weak. I don't want to feel like a bad wife and mom because I am not cooking for my family but I also really don't feel like I can cook for them without eating the foods that I am cooking :( I don't know what to do. Can anybody give me some advice?
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  • wheezybreezy
    wheezybreezy Posts: 315 Member
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    Cook the healthy foods. If they don't like it, they do not have to eat it. It doesn't really make sense to focus on health for yourself, but still suggest that your family chooses unhealthy options. And as hard as it is, try to quit feeling guilty. You have to be healthy to be the best you, mom, and wife. Know that you are not "fighting temptation." Your body wants to be healthy and strong! Congraulations on your loss so far!
  • rompers16
    rompers16 Posts: 5,404 Member
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    You can still cook, just make healthier versions of the foods they like...in the process of making yourself healthy, you don't want to make them unhealthy, right? Also, get them to help you cook. You're not a bad wife of mom, you can do this!
  • nataliefamily3
    nataliefamily3 Posts: 190
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    I would try to either cook something healthy that still tastes good for everyone or eat the same as them but more veggies less of the other stuff to keep under on calories. Meet in the middle. Healthy meals my husband and son love:

    Turkey meatloaf with cauiflower mashed potatoes
    Lean steak, pepper and onion stuffed baked potato
    Apricot chicken stuffed peppers
    Slow cooker pulled buffalo chicken


    Just to name a few. Google ideas, try skinnytaste or sneakychef. You already know it is not right to give your hubby and kids unhealthy food to help you eat healthy. Even if they do not have a weight issue they could later, or get high cholesteral blood pressure etv.one last suggestion if you really really can not all eat the same meal, one or t two days a week make all their dinners so you dont have to face the issue every day. If you are not handling raw meat you could keep a snack near by so you can munch on something.
  • karibeargirl
    karibeargirl Posts: 249 Member
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    I am a mother/wife of 3 boys and a hubby that can eat anything and not gain a lb, I use to be in the same boat. I decided that what I cooked is what everyone ate. I am not a health freak, I just try to cook good healthy meals for entire family, and they actually enjoy it. It's hard sometimes, but you can do it. For me, to be able to lose the weight and eat healthy, I needed the support of my family and thus far, they have been there for me. I sometimes would cook things up ahead of time like (boneless skinless chicken breast) because I love salad topped with chicken!! Good Luck!!!
  • LadyIntrepid
    LadyIntrepid Posts: 399 Member
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    Make your health the priority. If you're healthy, it's SO much better for the entire family in the long run. You're being a good wife/mom, not a bad one, by taking care of yourself because then you can take better care of them.
  • recoiljpr
    recoiljpr Posts: 292
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    What we do is a 50/50 split for our kids. 3 or 4 days a week they eat what we eat (chicken and veggies) and 3 or 4 days a week we cook them something they would like. Yeah, it's tough at times, but we all have to learn at some point to fight those urges to eat that food.
  • supplemama
    supplemama Posts: 1,956 Member
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    Can't your husband cook??
    Get a grill, men generally like to grill. Tell him to have at it.
  • AmyBecky74
    AmyBecky74 Posts: 437 Member
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    don't feel guilty. a good mom is one that sets a good example and you trying to be healthier is a great example for them. If your husband is hungry enough he'll eventually make it himself ( there is no law that the wife/mom has to do the cooking). hang in there.
  • EvilMomma
    EvilMomma Posts: 70 Member
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    Why can't the man cook? I know several men who cook even though they work outside the home and have wives who do not. That said, you are doing the best thing in the world for your family--the health problems that come from being very heavy can really affect the family. Don't let them guilt you into abandoning your health and your well being.
  • recoiljpr
    recoiljpr Posts: 292
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    Can't your husband cook??
    Get a grill, men generally like to grill. Tell him to have at it.

    This!! Just because he has a stick and berries doesn't mean he can't cook! My wife and I share cooking duties. So if he doesn't like what you made, give him a pan and say "have at it sport"!

    Oh wow...I realize I sound like a middle aged woman. Darn, I guess my wife finally has trained me well after all of these years...
  • Spanaval
    Spanaval Posts: 1,200 Member
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    I agree with making a healthy meal for everyone to enjoy, and then letting anyone that doesn't like it to fend for themselves.
  • bigGirlGoesSmall
    bigGirlGoesSmall Posts: 2 Member
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    I went through that, he knows how to cook.
  • waffleflavoredtea
    waffleflavoredtea Posts: 235 Member
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    make healthy meatloaf without flour or brown sugar! Make delicious steak, chicken, mashed potatoes... you know, man food!!! :) But without the added fats, sugars, and flour! You CAN eat healthy and please the men of the house too, you just have to figure out what they like that can be made more healthy, and feed them that!
    Make gluten free desserts, healthy ice cream, etc. But make it all in smaller quantities so it's just enough for one meal, so that you aren't tempted to go back for bingey seconds while the rest of the family is stuffing their faces too.

    And I'm sure they don't mind the pizza and fast food either. :)
  • mandy13renae
    mandy13renae Posts: 10
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    Well I feel ya on that, I have 10 yr old twins that I'm raising by myself (right now) & they r not hearing me cooking healthy food I barely get them to eat the veggies that they do eat. So cooking is a chore. So if u get any good advice I will take head myself. Good Luck & I'll be praying for u
  • got2gethealthy
    got2gethealthy Posts: 16 Member
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    Thank you for the advice everyone. My husband can and does cook sometimes but I guess he is missing having me cook for him. I know that I should just put my foot down and cook healthy and have an eat or starve attitude. I have tried this before but they would complain and waste the food and I would end up feeling frustrated that I cooked and the food went to waste. I need to give this a shot again though and be consistent! I know that my family should be eating healthy as well so they don't run into health problems down the road. I appreciate the support from you all :smile:
  • got2gethealthy
    got2gethealthy Posts: 16 Member
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    I have twins too. Identical boys who will be 9 in August.
  • glovepuppet
    glovepuppet Posts: 1,710 Member
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    feeding your kids crap is just increasing their risk of inheriting your weight issues.
    they'll get a taste for ready meals and pizza which could las a lifetime.

    like other posters have already said, cook healthy meals for the whole family. i've always fed the kids the same as i have, because they need to eat healthy food even more than i do! i might add extras to keep their calorie intake high enough for their age but they're eating the same veg & lean meats. we talk through the veges to make sure everyone gets something they don't mind eating, and they understand the importance of good nutrition for life.

    your kids are building their bodies. it's your duty to make sure you're giving them the best ingredients to grow them with.
  • got2gethealthy
    got2gethealthy Posts: 16 Member
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    Haha you just made my day with your stick and berries comment :)
  • nene01pop
    nene01pop Posts: 80 Member
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    I am trying to incorporate healthy into their diets also... hubby is def overweight but has no desire to change.. my 11 year old is not so healhty either, but I blame myself for that. So, tonight I cooked BBQ ribs, yellow rice, and broccoli. I had boiled chicken and broccoli and tomatoes... I fixed my son's plate and gave him a measured amount... but for hubby, I just loaded his plate up and sat it down in front of him. If he wants to keep eating that way, I can't and won't try to change him, but I don't have too. and I will encourage my son to eat better.

    Good luck to you! Just remember you can do it... you can make better choices no matter the circumstances..
  • bellabijou
    bellabijou Posts: 82 Member
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    You ARE a good mom, because you are trying to get fit and healthy so your children ( and hubby) can benefit from having a healthy active role model in their life.

    If you are feeling guilty about what you are cooking, it sounds to be like you don't have a very good arsenal of healthy recipes on hand. Cooking healthy for your family can only be looked at as a good thing! If they complain or aren't supportive of you ( shame ) perhaps have a cheat night where you cook something comfort food or do take out.

    When my mom lost 60 lbs, we thought for sure my Dad was going to be her biggest hurdle. He is a picky meat and potatoes kinda guy - doesn't like to try much etc. I was amazed that he gobbled up most all the new things she cooked. She switched his white rice ( that he literally ate with everything) to brown, and guess what? he liked the taste better! She made spaghetti one night and used spaghetti squash - he loved how tasty it was! She made his favorites like stir fry, with reduced sodium sauces - he never even noticed the difference!

    What I am saying is - you need to make it your normal family lifestyle. There are so many ways you can make your favorites healthier with alternatives. That is what we are all here for, to help, support, and pass ideas back and forth :-)

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