Trying to lose weight but feeling like a bad wife/mom

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  • got2gethealthy
    got2gethealthy Posts: 16 Member
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    You ARE a good mom, because you are trying to get fit and healthy so your children ( and hubby) can benefit from having a healthy active role model in their life.

    If you are feeling guilty about what you are cooking, it sounds to be like you don't have a very good arsenal of healthy recipes on hand. Cooking healthy for your family can only be looked at as a good thing! If they complain or aren't supportive of you ( shame ) perhaps have a cheat night where you cook something comfort food or do take out.

    When my mom lost 60 lbs, we thought for sure my Dad was going to be her biggest hurdle. He is a picky meat and potatoes kinda guy - doesn't like to try much etc. I was amazed that he gobbled up most all the new things she cooked. She switched his white rice ( that he literally ate with everything) to brown, and guess what? he liked the taste better! She made spaghetti one night and used spaghetti squash - he loved how tasty it was! She made his favorites like stir fry, with reduced sodium sauces - he never even noticed the difference!

    What I am saying is - you need to make it your normal family lifestyle. There are so many ways you can make your favorites healthier with alternatives. That is what we are all here for, to help, support, and pass ideas back and forth :-)


    Thank you!
  • keepitcroosh
    keepitcroosh Posts: 301 Member
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    Its the same in my family, I'm the only other girl other than my mom, the rest are boys. They complain about everything she makes basically. Chicken and salad does not cut it in this family.

    Heres a few ideas you could do:

    -Fake breaded chicken! Link for recipe : http://www.hungry-girl.com/newsletters/raw/1540
    (p.s you can use the breading recipe for fish as well!!!! & have some sort of dill dipping sauce as well!)

    - Grilled chicken burgers ( make sure you use whole wheat for yourself)

    - Tacos! Get hard shell ( if thats what they preffer) and get a whole great pita for yourself. As for the powder that u add to it, seperate your meat, then put the powder in for them.

    - Wholegrain pasta & homemade spaghetti sauce, or pesto?

    - Fajitas! Grilled peppers, beef or chicken, onions, sour cream ( have it low %), salsa, bam! Healthy meal & the boys love it.

    - Cauliflower "fried rice". THIS IS AMAAAAZING. You can even supplement with chicken. Link here:http://apps.fit2fat2fit.com/2011/12/chinese-fried-rice-recipe/

    - Crockpot meals , check out link for some ideas! Link here: http://www.littlebshealthyhabits.com/2011/12/two-clean-crock-pot-meals.html

    - Sweet potato fries. Bake them in over or on BBQ, spice them with some cinnamon, or other spices . Tons of recipes online!!!

    - im really excited about this one!!!! Cauliflower PIZZA . Ive been dying to try this . Link here for recipe :http://www.recipegirl.com/2012/01/16/cauliflower-crust-hawaiian-pizza/


    Hope these help!!
  • ravenchick
    ravenchick Posts: 345 Member
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    Cook the healthy foods. If they don't like it, they do not have to eat it. It doesn't really make sense to focus on health for yourself, but still suggest that your family chooses unhealthy options. And as hard as it is, try to quit feeling guilty. You have to be healthy to be the best you, mom, and wife. Know that you are not "fighting temptation." Your body wants to be healthy and strong! Congraulations on your loss so far!

    ^^ This! I have a husband and 2 children. I cook healthy foods that I can eat. If they don't like what I cook, they either don't eat, or cook something for themselves. My husband will try anything I cook, my son is a little more picky but I'm hoping that eventually we will all be eating healthy. If they decide to eat unhealthy things, I'm not going to be the one cooking it for them. The idea is to get the whole family to eat healthier. Well for me it is. No one needs to eat unhealthy.
  • glovepuppet
    glovepuppet Posts: 1,710 Member
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    Thank you for the advice everyone. My husband can and does cook sometimes but I guess he is missing having me cook for him. I know that I should just put my foot down and cook healthy and have an eat or starve attitude. I have tried this before but they would complain and waste the food and I would end up feeling frustrated that I cooked and the food went to waste. I need to give this a shot again though and be consistent! I know that my family should be eating healthy as well so they don't run into health problems down the road. I appreciate the support from you all :smile:
    there are meals almost everyone loves.
    a roast dinner (if you eat boiled potatoes they can still eat roasted ones), pasta with lean meat & tomato sauces (let them grate cheese on top of theirs), tropical fruit salad (they could have a little ice cream with theirs), chicken kebabs are healthier than they taste, burgers can be home made with lean meat, etc.
  • a3joy1908
    a3joy1908 Posts: 4 Member
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    Try eating a healthy snack like a salad or Greek yogurt before you start to cook or chew extra gum. This keeps the snacking down. Your boys are nine start having them help you cook.
    Try hungry girl.com for good recipes. You can do this!!!!
  • RuthSweetTooth
    RuthSweetTooth Posts: 461 Member
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    I love to cook. Everyone eats what I cook. I plan what I want to. The men just eat larger portions of it, for example, I will take a half cup of rice and the fellas can have a cup.

    Everyone should be eating the same things you are eating. If you are making a casserole or dish from scratch, create it as a meal or as a recipe so that you can pull it up again and again and have all the calories already counted for you.

    Add me as a friend if you want some great food ideas!

    Ruth
  • needamulligan
    needamulligan Posts: 558 Member
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    I cook for my family of 5 nearly every night. I have 3 teenagers (one is a vegetarian) and maybe that makes things a bit easier. I'm confused. Why doesn't everyone eat healthy food? weight problem or not? And, if you serve something with less nutritional value, why don't you just have a smaller portion. If you offer a veg or two as sides everyone has options. Or, that could be the day you pop something into the microwave for yourself. If you have picky eaters, heard somewhere that it takes 7 times to acquire a taste for a new food. Just keep offering a wide variety of foods. Also, what if you were to ask your pickiest eaters for help in planning dinner. I always found that the more invested my kids were in food preparation, the better things tasted to them. If the problem is counting calories from home cooking that's easy! I think MFP has added a recipe calculator now. You can google others. You can do it! Good luck!
  • Bob314159
    Bob314159 Posts: 1,178 Member
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    I have cut all wheat and dairy out of my diet and have been trying to lose weight eating healthy food.

    From my view - that shows amazing willpower.

    I have to cook 80% of the time for my family, two of whom have gluten intolerance. Everyone likes different foods and its very hard making a meal to suite all. Since I got on MFP - its even harder to include something that I can eat and to avoid eating the large portions and high calories items the rest of the family has. But I'm the one with the weight problem - they are all fine. My son is sitting right now eating a plate of food that is 3000 calories - but he is thin, and I have to learn to walk by it and not ask for any.

    Give it some time and you will be able to cook for them without eating it.
  • TozzatheHatcher
    TozzatheHatcher Posts: 18 Member
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    I know that temptation. It's 4.30pm and I'm cooking for my children to eat at 5pm - my husband gets home later so often we eat together after the boys are sleeping but then I don't want to 'double up' on dinner! And I feel really really hungry....How to avoid nibbling when the boys eat if I know I'm eating later? Tricky.

    But you know what I do? Either I make healthy dinner for me and the boys - adjusting my portion/veg ratio acccordingly and leave a portion ready for the husband to heat up/steam by himself! (I might go to my zumba class or something)

    Or

    As I cook the healthy meal for my boys - meatballs, stir fry or home made tuna burgers with roast sweet potato 'chips' - I cook a plate of brocolli or veg and just sprinkle some balsamic vinegar so I satisfy my 'hunger' but don't splurge the calories. A fruit salad with natural yoghurt would do it too. That way there is no angst over 'bad mum'...and really you cannot call yourself that at all. You are looking after your health and your family's health - isn't that the definition of mum??

    It is so lovely that you are focussing on healthy eating because it really does put the children on a healthy path - I find my boys sleep and play better/have even more energy (!) when they are not loaded with salty things or sugar. Hearty home cooked food is the best! And you can cook things that everyone can eat but remains within your plan.

    And of course, you could always ask the other half to cook on a day or two so you can relax too.

    Hope it goes well for you - keep posting. A problem shared as they say....

    T
  • got2gethealthy
    got2gethealthy Posts: 16 Member
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    Its the same in my family, I'm the only other girl other than my mom, the rest are boys. They complain about everything she makes basically. Chicken and salad does not cut it in this family.

    Heres a few ideas you could do:

    -Fake breaded chicken! Link for recipe : http://www.hungry-girl.com/newsletters/raw/1540
    (p.s you can use the breading recipe for fish as well!!!! & have some sort of dill dipping sauce as well!)

    - Grilled chicken burgers ( make sure you use whole wheat for yourself)

    - Tacos! Get hard shell ( if thats what they preffer) and get a whole great pita for yourself. As for the powder that u add to it, seperate your meat, then put the powder in for them.

    - Wholegrain pasta & homemade spaghetti sauce, or pesto?

    - Fajitas! Grilled peppers, beef or chicken, onions, sour cream ( have it low %), salsa, bam! Healthy meal & the boys love it.

    - Cauliflower "fried rice". THIS IS AMAAAAZING. You can even supplement with chicken. Link here:http://apps.fit2fat2fit.com/2011/12/chinese-fried-rice-recipe/

    - Crockpot meals , check out link for some ideas! Link here: http://www.littlebshealthyhabits.com/2011/12/two-clean-crock-pot-meals.html

    - Sweet potato fries. Bake them in over or on BBQ, spice them with some cinnamon, or other spices . Tons of recipes online!!!

    - im really excited about this one!!!! Cauliflower PIZZA . Ive been dying to try this . Link here for recipe :http://www.recipegirl.com/2012/01/16/cauliflower-crust-hawaiian-pizza/


    Hope these help!!

    Thank you so much for all of your awesome suggestions!!
  • got2gethealthy
    got2gethealthy Posts: 16 Member
    Options
    Try eating a healthy snack like a salad or Greek yogurt before you start to cook or chew extra gum. This keeps the snacking down. Your boys are nine start having them help you cook.
    Try hungry girl.com for good recipes. You can do this!!!!

    I like the chewing gum idea. Thanks :)
  • got2gethealthy
    got2gethealthy Posts: 16 Member
    Options
    I cook for my family of 5 nearly every night. I have 3 teenagers (one is a vegetarian) and maybe that makes things a bit easier. I'm confused. Why doesn't everyone eat healthy food? weight problem or not? And, if you serve something with less nutritional value, why don't you just have a smaller portion. If you offer a veg or two as sides everyone has options. Or, that could be the day you pop something into the microwave for yourself. If you have picky eaters, heard somewhere that it takes 7 times to acquire a taste for a new food. Just keep offering a wide variety of foods. Also, what if you were to ask your pickiest eaters for help in planning dinner. I always found that the more invested my kids were in food preparation, the better things tasted to them. If the problem is counting calories from home cooking that's easy! I think MFP has added a recipe calculator now. You can google others. You can do it! Good luck!

    I am going to take your advice about getting the boys involved in food preparation. I'm crossing my fingers that this will get them excited about trying something that they might not normally be interested in eating.
  • got2gethealthy
    got2gethealthy Posts: 16 Member
    Options
    I have cut all wheat and dairy out of my diet and have been trying to lose weight eating healthy food.

    From my view - that shows amazing willpower.

    I have to cook 80% of the time for my family, two of whom have gluten intolerance. Everyone likes different foods and its very hard making a meal to suite all. Since I got on MFP - its even harder to include something that I can eat and to avoid eating the large portions and high calories items the rest of the family has. But I'm the one with the weight problem - they are all fine. My son is sitting right now eating a plate of food that is 3000 calories - but he is thin, and I have to learn to walk by it and not ask for any.

    Give it some time and you will be able to cook for them without eating it.

    Thank you :)
  • aproc
    aproc Posts: 1,033 Member
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    Cook healthier foods for them. If they won't eat it then they can fix themselves something. If they complain about that then they are being a little selfish in not supporting your goals. There needs to be a compromise somewhere in there and they should be supportive of you trying to imporve your health. And giving them all that frozen/processed foods rather than good homecooked nutritious meals isn't doing anybody a favor. You should never feel like a bad wife or mother for this though! You are working on your health and I'm sure if they really thought about it in those terms, they would rather you be healthy and around longer!
    I wish you all the luck! I would fully support any of my family in their weightloss goals. That just shows what a great wife and mother you are that your feeling so guilty. But you have to think about yourself sometimes and not put everybody else before yourself. :)
  • macx2mommy
    macx2mommy Posts: 170 Member
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    I would take a few different strategies.

    Cook healthy foods that the whole family will like and can be easily modified. I would make meals that can be modified to include wheat and diary for them, but still meet your dietary requirements. It's really important to get the kids eating healthy now, so they learn the habits later. I make a lot of 'assembly' meals, where I can just eliminate the component that I don't want. I make a protein, a veggie or two, and a carb, all seperately, and done very healthy. I will then add toppings, sauces, and sides that the rest of the family can have. I will eat stir fry, but take out my portion, just before I add all the noodles.

    Have hubby cook a couple of nights. He gets to choose, but he cooks it. It gives you a well deserved break too, and see if you can ask if he tries some healthy alternatives for you.

    Get the boys going, have them help prep. My 3 & 6 yr olds are already in the kitchen washing, cutting, and stirring items. They know what items are healthier choices or not.

    Make small healthier modifications. Instead of frozen pizza, make a homemade pizza, get a regular crust for the family, make a cauliflower crust for you. Modify the toppings so it's fresh ingredients, leaner meat, more veggies, light cheese, etc. We have replaced chips with popcorn, then did smart pop with our own seasonings. I just try to make each meal we have a little more healthy than before. Trust me, they are not perfect. I still can't get the family on brown rice, so right now it's about a 50-50 mix.

    I have done frozen pizzas, but will serve veggies on the side, and add some extra chopped up veggies on the pizza. Sour cream and mayo has been replaced in part if not in whole by fat free greek yogurt. My kids have been eating popsicles for part of their breakfast, and several times a day. Mine are fruit, greek yogurt, milk and a splash of vanilla all pureed together. They love the fact that they get these 'treats' for breakfast, and right now I am the best mom. However, they still have some of there other food too. Be creative.
  • Shrinking_Moody
    Shrinking_Moody Posts: 270 Member
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    Cook healthy meals for dinner and if he doesn't like it - tell him to have at it. Period.

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