Step foot inside a gym alone? NO WAY

Options
mariaelenaismean
mariaelenaismean Posts: 6
in Motivation and Support
So, I'm realizing that just eating well isn't the only component to all of this- I need more physical activity.

Tomorrow I will check out a gym near my home, but I got to thinking... I don't want to work out alone! I don't know if I can.
I fear that I will be too self conscious the whole time and give up. Seeing as no one I know lives in San Francisco and probably wouldn't want to come all the way out just to gym it up with me, I've got no idea how I will handle myself!

The thing is, I just feel ugly all of the time.. for the longest time I couldn't even go running alone unless it was on super secluded trails which, in hindsight, wasn't very smart. I feel as though everyone is watching me, judging me, and thinking " she looks stupid" or "she's doing that wrong, what an idiot."

Has anyone else dealt with this? If so, any tips on how to cope?
«13

Replies

  • apriltrainer
    apriltrainer Posts: 732 Member
    Options
    I used to feel intimidated too. Especially in the weight room. One would think that after being in the army I would be used to alot of males being around. Well, in the civilian world we weren't wearing the same uniform. I felt like an outsider.

    I knew i was strong(at least bodyweight wise) but I wanted to take it to another level and knew I had to get off the machines, and do more than bodyweight. I had to start lifting free weights. I was really intimidated so I got myself a personal trainer. That might help. I now feel so comfortable I am now a personal trainer myself!
  • greenkarla
    greenkarla Posts: 15
    Options
    I go to the gym every day alone. I feel better that way. I get to put on my headphones and listen to the music and get to set my reps to the beat, or set my walk/run to the beat. I find when I have to go to the gym with someone else, they always end up canceling and it gives me a reason to cancel myself. or I don't get to go when it suits me, I always have to arrange my schedule around them.

    Last year, the best move I made was start with a personal trainer for a short period of time. I got to know the staff at the gym really well, and they got to know me by name. You can't imagine how encouraging they can be! Im 80+lbs overweight and they treat me like Im any of the other skinny people. Absolutly no judgements. Actually, I've never seen judgement in the eyes of anyone in the gym, including the members. You have to believe that they respect that every drop of sweat that they see dripping from you proves how hard you're working towards never being unhealthy ever again!!

    Hope this helps!
  • Nana_Booboo
    Nana_Booboo Posts: 501 Member
    Options
    I'd rather go alone than with someone. I'm there for one reason, to work out and "get 'er done"

    It's my alone time.
  • KaleidoscopeEyes1056
    KaleidoscopeEyes1056 Posts: 2,996 Member
    Options
    My advice would be to bring your iPod or MP3 player, or if the gym has TVs, just pay attention to that. I used to be the same way, and then I realized that everybody is in their own little world and they're not worried about what I do, so I do the same. Basically the only social interaction I get at the gym (other than when I do go with somebody) is when I approach somebody who is next to the weights I want and say "Are you using those?"

    ETA: I've also noticed that the only people who say anything to/about me are the ones who are also overweight. The ones who are in shape don't say anything, they don't stare, none of it. It's the other overweight people who do.
  • saraann4
    saraann4 Posts: 1,312 Member
    Options
    I think the first day is a killer. You really just don't want to go alone. I joined a gym about 2 years ago with my mom and had no problem walking in and out of there by myself after the first day. Now, that gym is closed and I need to find another one. That only one I'm considering is Anytime Fitness, but still I always feel like I need someone there with me the first day. I don't know why! Anytime after that, I really don't want anybody working out with me. I just always feel the need to compare. I work out better without anybody else around me.
  • RobynMWilson
    RobynMWilson Posts: 1,540 Member
    Options
    You're beautiful and I go thru the same thing! I've been working out for many years too but the thought of setting foot in a gym, especially alone, terrifies me. I think it has to do with being obese as a kid and not being good in gym class. So I work out at home lol
  • Ely82010
    Ely82010 Posts: 1,998 Member
    Options
    I'd rather go alone than with someone. I'm there for one reason, to work out and "get 'er done"

    It's my alone time.

    I agree! I never understood why ladies are so self conscious of going to a gym or working out alone. Come ladies, we rock!!
  • BPayton27
    BPayton27 Posts: 626 Member
    Options
    I ONLY go alone. I've brought my husband a few times and I never get as good of a workout in. You've got to try and get over what people MAY be thinking. It's likely they're not. People go into their own worlds when exercising. I know I do! I'll look around from time to time, but it's only to see if I'm the last one standing. Who cares what a bunch of strangers think, anyway? You shouldn't. You're there to improve your health not socialize.
  • robinhardysmall
    robinhardysmall Posts: 246 Member
    Options
    I go alone~ but maybe check and see if there is one near you that has a Women's Gym~ Gold's that I belong to has a special smaller gym just for women and I love it~ we laugh when we screw up and get support from each other if someone has more exerpeicne...I love it!
  • sxyfitmomandwife
    sxyfitmomandwife Posts: 328 Member
    Options
    You wont be alone. Its a gym full of peope. Talk to them. You can do it
  • sheleen302
    sheleen302 Posts: 266 Member
    Options
    Last year, the best move I made was start with a personal trainer for a short period of time. I got to know the staff at the gym really well, and they got to know me by name. You can't imagine how encouraging they can be! Im 80+lbs overweight and they treat me like Im any of the other skinny people. Absolutly no judgements. Actually, I've never seen judgement in the eyes of anyone in the gym, including the members. You have to believe that they respect that every drop of sweat that they see dripping from you proves how hard you're working towards never being unhealthy ever again!!

    Hope this helps!

    This is what I have done because I have the same issues with being intimidated. Everything she said is true for me. Other posters have said it is their time--I agree. I also found I work harder with my trainer--I still train alone, but there is something about having someone there to push a little bit. It helps, alot.
  • KellyMirth
    KellyMirth Posts: 153
    Options
    Headphones with awesome music works for me. Also, with very few exceptions, other people that are working out (and staff) are generally very helpful and nice. Especially to people just starting out. Just show up and do your thing, after a while you'll enjoy that time to yourself.
  • jennkain97
    jennkain97 Posts: 290 Member
    Options
    check out planet fitness. they have a "no critics" policy. i joined a couple weeks ago, and get nothing but smiles and encouragement from the other members :happy:
  • justjenn1977
    justjenn1977 Posts: 437 Member
    Options

    Has anyone else dealt with this? If so, any tips on how to cope?

    I used to deal with this... but I just go in and turn on some praise and worship music on my phone and put the headphones on... I realized... people don't care what I am doing... they don't care how I look...

    for the most part the people that I encounter at the gym are very encouraging and whatnot... there have been a few guys who are there regular and one of them one time said to me "I noticed you went up on your weights there on the bench press from what you did last week, I am impressed!"

    I just got over it... because I am the one doing this for ME... not for anyone else... and it doesn't really matter what anyone else thinks anyways
  • sarahrbraun
    sarahrbraun Posts: 2,261 Member
    Options
    I go to the gym every day alone. I feel better that way. I get to put on my headphones and listen to the music and get to set my reps to the beat, or set my walk/run to the beat. I find when I have to go to the gym with someone else, they always end up canceling and it gives me a reason to cancel myself. or I don't get to go when it suits me, I always have to arrange my schedule around them.

    Last year, the best move I made was start with a personal trainer for a short period of time. I got to know the staff at the gym really well, and they got to know me by name. You can't imagine how encouraging they can be! Im 80+lbs overweight and they treat me like Im any of the other skinny people. Absolutly no judgements. Actually, I've never seen judgement in the eyes of anyone in the gym, including the members. You have to believe that they respect that every drop of sweat that they see dripping from you proves how hard you're working towards never being unhealthy ever again!!

    Hope this helps!

    THIS ^^^^ I go to the Y alone 90% of the time. I am about 50lbs overweight NOW ( it was closer to 70). After I started working out on a regular basis, the Personal Trainer who works in the fitness area during the week started greeting me. Now he says "hey" most of the time, and occasionally we will have a conversation about random stuff ( Tuesday it was wild blackberries and all the decadent things you can make with them). This fall I hope to have enough $$ to hire him for a few 30 minute sessions.

    I have been approached by other Y members, but never in a bad way. One big huge guy struck up a conversation to motivate me ( told me I was doing a great job and to keep it up). Another time a few older ladies told me they had noticed my dedication.
  • MissShancey
    MissShancey Posts: 464
    Options
    i go alone ... i blast some beyonce on my ipod and constantly update on MFP on my phone so i can get encouragement from the mfp fam!
  • amayberry7
    amayberry7 Posts: 22 Member
    Options
    You can totally do it alone! Its so good for you to jus get into the zone and go after your goal! Trust me!! I used to be the same way and now I love to go alone!!
  • peles_fire
    peles_fire Posts: 501
    Options
    I know exactly how you feel. But the truth is, self-consciousness is just another excuse and you need to get over it. Tough love, I know, but I am speaking from the heart.

    I'll share a little secret with you: Every time I go to the gym, as I walk up the parking lot toward the door I tell my son (who is 15 months old and goes with me to kid play area while I work out) that we are getting ready to shed our hats. I literally pantomime removing a baseball cap from my head. On that cap are the words: Self-Conscious. As I approach the door, I chuck that hat to the side and leave it outside in the parking lot where it belongs. It may seem stupid, but it really helps me. I walk in feeling confident, knowing I am there to get healthier and do right by myself. And I don't feel self-conscious at all. And I totally should because when I work out, I jiggle, I sweat, I grunt, I talk to myself, sometimes I laugh out loud and generally look like a total freak. And you know what? I could not care less. I check my self-consciousness at the door every time. And it works. I keep going back, I keep getting stronger, and I am not letting my own demons stop me from getting what I want.

    Get out of your comfort zone. Do it today. You will not regret it when you look back - I promise. :flowerforyou:
  • pamelak5
    pamelak5 Posts: 327 Member
    Options
    As someone who is now a gym rat (I go six days a week and know all the regulars :)), I can tell you that people aren't criticizing you!! Generally, everyone is there to work on themselves...I am too busy thinking about myself to even pay attention to others :) When I see someone at the gym for the first time I am secretly cheering for them, especially if its someone who looks totally new to working out. Also, pretty much everyone at my gym works out solo - I have never worked out with a friend!
  • marywanoKC
    marywanoKC Posts: 176
    Options
    I went alone for months before my hubby followed my example, and I still prefer to do my own thing, and let him do his own, because I don't want to be constantly trying to feel pressure to speed up or slow down from anyone else.

    Yes, I get that it's intimidating at first, but once you make it part of your routine, and once you make you being there part of THEIR routine, it'll feel like you've been going there for forever (in a good way). I've been so surprised at the respect and admiration that I have for people who are there, doing their own thing, day in and day out.

    AND!

    Don't be afraid of weights. Doing only cardio will only get you so far! Make it your mission to learn as much as you can about what cardio does for you, and what weight lifting does for you, how many reps/sets you should be doing, and what to eat before and after you go. Be an informed gym rat. :D

Categories