Horrible "compliments"

sarahp86
sarahp86 Posts: 692 Member
edited December 2024 in Chit-Chat
Has anyone ever received one? I was told by one of the lads I work with that when the lads are talking about girls in work and who's the best looking, best body etc. he always defends me by saying I have a pretty face..... Gee thanks.

He then went on to say you're one of the lads. You're like a guy with boobs. We don't fancy you because you're one of the lads but you'd probably be really hot if you lost weight.... Then he said " and I mean that as a compliment"


Maybe I took it up wrong but all I heard was "you've a pretty face but you're a fat munter!" he should have just stopped digging and jumped into the hole!

Has anyone else ever received a "compliment" that just offended them?

Replies

  • legs_n_bacon
    legs_n_bacon Posts: 478 Member
    Some people are dilholes.
  • stepherzzzzz
    stepherzzzzz Posts: 469 Member
    One of my friends was trying to convince me to ask this guy out and he said "it's not like you're ugly."
  • azeria
    azeria Posts: 527 Member
    That was extremely rude! Great that he defends you when you are not there, but sometimes its just better not to know these things.

    I have had those kind of "compliments" before... Years ago, when I was skinnier, I was out with a friend of mine that drank too much and just threw herself at the guys. There was a group of guys around us and one of the ones sitting beside me said. "Don't you hate it when all the guys fight over the pretty one?" He then went on to say that I would look really good if I just wore the right clothes.... he even suggested that he could set me up with a wardrobe and a job at a local strip club... "Gee thanks but no cigar!"
  • sarahp86
    sarahp86 Posts: 692 Member
    That was extremely rude! Great that he defends you when you are not there, but sometimes its just better not to know these things.

    I have had those kind of "compliments" before... Years ago, when I was skinnier, I was out with a friend of mine that drank too much and just threw herself at the guys. There was a group of guys around us and one of the ones sitting beside me said. "Don't you hate it when all the guys fight over the pretty one?" He then went on to say that I would look really good if I just wore the right clothes.... he even suggested that he could set me up with a wardrobe and a job at a local strip club... "Gee thanks but no cigar!"

    People really are ****s! Another lad told me I sounded like a man but had feminine wrists... WTF
  • LaMujerMasBonitaDelMundo
    LaMujerMasBonitaDelMundo Posts: 3,634 Member
    Liar, what a jerk! That's isn't a compliment at all. I'm sorry you have to undergo that.
  • Ayeshat
    Ayeshat Posts: 209
    grrrr.. bunch of mofos.... oh yh I've gotten those... nothing worse than the backhanded complimented... "you know you're actually alright looking".... what?!
  • paintlisapurple
    paintlisapurple Posts: 982 Member
    One thing I've noticed. (So not to offend any men out there.) When it comes to women...MOST men are clueless MOST of the time. :tongue:
  • sarahp86
    sarahp86 Posts: 692 Member
    One thing I've noticed. (So not to offend any men out there.) When it comes to women...MOST men are clueless MOST of the time. :tongue:

    Yep!!
  • Papabear0428
    Papabear0428 Posts: 63
    One thing I've noticed. (So not to offend any men out there.) When it comes to women...MOST men are clueless MOST of the time. :tongue:

    No offense taken! At least you didn't say ALL men are clueless! However, I am a victim of the backhanded compliment too...I try to be a nice and attentiive when I speak to ladies, but I was once told by a female friend that I was "the most feminine male I know!". I'm sure no harm was meant by it but MAN! No guy really wants to hear that!
  • scs143
    scs143 Posts: 2,190 Member
    I have heard that too- oh you have such a pretty face.

    But the one I hate is when some guy is hitting on me and eyes my lower half and says I have child bearing hips.

    I get that my hips are huge. I have had three children, trust me they work fine but it's not a compliment for you to point it out and it will get you no where!
  • Lyndi4
    Lyndi4 Posts: 442 Member
    The hardest thing for me is that I've been compared to my sister over the years. It's annoying, and it hurts. She's tall & thin & I am more of an average height & curvy. I get told in different ways that I'm beautiful, but she's just more beautiful. How these conversations come up with people or why they feel the need to say these things to me I don't know. My sister is beautiful. I am the first to acknowledge that, but I'd rather that ppl either just say nothing to me or just compliment me for me, instead of comparing. I'll be bee bopin' along feeling fine about myself & when that happens it's hard not to let it bring you down.
  • sarahp86
    sarahp86 Posts: 692 Member
    The hardest thing for me is that I've been compared to my sister over the years. It's annoying, and it hurts. She's tall & thin & I am more of an average height & curvy. I get told in different ways that I'm beautiful, but she's just more beautiful. How these conversations come up with people or why they feel the need to say these things to me I don't know. My sister is beautiful. I am the first to acknowledge that, but I'd rather that ppl either just say nothing to me or just compliment me for me, instead of comparing. I'll be bee bopin' along feeling fine about myself & when that happens it's hard not to let it bring you down.

    If its any consolation I'd say you're very beautiful! I'd rather have my curves than be thin x
  • kimi131
    kimi131 Posts: 1,058 Member
    The hardest thing for me is that I've been compared to my sister over the years. It's annoying, and it hurts. She's tall & thin & I am more of an average height & curvy. I get told in different ways that I'm beautiful, but she's just more beautiful.

    Knowing both you and your sister, I must say you are *just as beautiful*! Sure she's beautiful, but SO ARE YOU!!!! And I am NOT just saying that because you are my best friend and I love you.
  • Lyndi4
    Lyndi4 Posts: 442 Member
    The hardest thing for me is that I've been compared to my sister over the years. It's annoying, and it hurts. She's tall & thin & I am more of an average height & curvy. I get told in different ways that I'm beautiful, but she's just more beautiful. How these conversations come up with people or why they feel the need to say these things to me I don't know. My sister is beautiful. I am the first to acknowledge that, but I'd rather that ppl either just say nothing to me or just compliment me for me, instead of comparing. I'll be bee bopin' along feeling fine about myself & when that happens it's hard not to let it bring you down.

    If its any consolation I'd say you're very beautiful! I'd rather have my curves than be thin x

    Thank you! That is very sweet of you to say! :flowerforyou:
  • waldenfam2
    waldenfam2 Posts: 203 Member
    I got asked the other day if I got sucked into a shrinking machine! Kind of funny.
  • kimi131
    kimi131 Posts: 1,058 Member
    One of my "favorites" was:

    "You're getting so skinny, I just want to vomit all over you."

    Umm.... thanks?! :noway: And all I was doing was standing there minding my own business :indifferent: . Another colleague always tells me now that she hates me. I worked so hard to get where I am at and it's hard when people say things like that, especially since these people knew me when I was fat and saw me go through it.
  • Lyndi4
    Lyndi4 Posts: 442 Member
    The hardest thing for me is that I've been compared to my sister over the years. It's annoying, and it hurts. She's tall & thin & I am more of an average height & curvy. I get told in different ways that I'm beautiful, but she's just more beautiful.

    Knowing both you and your sister, I must say you are *just as beautiful*! Sure she's beautiful, but SO ARE YOU!!!! And I am NOT just saying that because you are my best friend and I love you.

    Thanks girl! I love you, and I appreciate you saying that! Like I said, I think she's beautiful, gorgeous in fact. I just wish ppl wouldn't feel the need to compare us. It's difficult to know how to respond. Anyway, hugs to my beautiful BF!
  • waldenfam2
    waldenfam2 Posts: 203 Member
    Yep I know exactly what you mean. I was at a relative's house and an Aunt asked someone how much weight they lost. I said, "Who me?" She said, "No, I see your stuff on Facebook all the time".

    Um, what? I purposefully don't post but maybe once a month on there about weight related topics because I don't want to offend anyone!

    I guess it was the tone that was used more than the words. It just doesn't come across as negative on here.

    Then I have other people say things like, 'Well you're looking good and could still lose a few more pounds, but don't lose too much'.

    That ones a real crowd pleaser :)
  • Laura_Suzie
    Laura_Suzie Posts: 1,288 Member
    What I hear from my mother everyday: You would be perfect if you lost 20 pounds.
  • KBjimAZ
    KBjimAZ Posts: 369 Member
    I have two...
    1. Back in my competitive powerlifting days, an old school guy that worked out where I did proclaimed "You look like you're gaining weight" which during competition prep would have been somewhat complimentary. However, I was 25 pounds into a 40 weight loss.

    2. Due to good genetics and my former hobby mentioned above, I have thick, broad, well defined shoulders. I once had a woman tell me "If you could get your abs looking like your shoulders, you would look awesome." Hmmm....
  • Kristen0526
    Kristen0526 Posts: 168 Member
    I had a guy tell me I was, and I quote "a 4.3 on the scale. I could be worse, I'm just closer to 0 than I am to 10". I told him I was fine with that analysis b/c I was two points higher on the scale than he was.

    My high school cheerleading coach told me that I was a "strong cheerleader, but if I just lost some weight I would look as good in my uniform as my friends". I was a size 6.

    I've learned that it doesn't matter what people say to me. There are going to be people who want to help bring you up, and there are going to be people who want to see you fail, no matter what you do. People's actions aren't what define you. It's your reactions that do. I have an amazing, handsome, wonderful man who loves me unconditionally and we have the most perfect little boy in the whole world.

    Everyone on here should be supportive of each other, we are all here for the same reason. Those people who aren't here for the right reasons need to delete themselves and stick to annoying people on Facebook about how many pounds they benched at the gym while they listened "their jam" on their iPods and top it off by adding on a picture of themselves shirtless in the bathroom mirrow like they are 15 year old girls making their duck faces for the world to see.

    End rant. Carry on.
  • Caffeine_Addict
    Caffeine_Addict Posts: 178 Member
    "you'd be so hot IF you lost weight"

    I know they meant well... but poop.
  • Caffeine_Addict
    Caffeine_Addict Posts: 178 Member
    What I hear from my mother everyday: You would be perfect if you lost 20 pounds.

    Whoa, you're stunning woman!
  • 180farm
    180farm Posts: 230
    My boss told me, "all the officers wanted me to hire the pretty girl but I didn't. I hired you." ummm, thanks Can I at least be the smart one?
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