How small is too small?

Moniqua1
Moniqua1 Posts: 195 Member
edited 5:15PM in Motivation and Support
I'm 5'3, 117. I've started getting comments that I initially took as compliments, but now they're starting to eat at me. I started off going between 131lbs on a bad day and 127 on a good day. I have kind of a weird complex that I always look the same to myself. I see the scale go down, the clothes size smaller (I'm in a 3/4 now, and in my mind, I think other people in that size are small, but for myself, I think I'm the exception) at my heaviest, I was 160lbs. I'm told "you're tiny" and I think they're talking about my height, or they say, "you're not going to lose anymore, are you?!" I tell them that I'm going to continue to do what I have been because I enjoy it and if I lose more, that's fine, but I'm ok with where I'm at, but secretly I want to be smaller but more importantly, more toned. I guess I just want to know what's healthy. I'm afraid of losing too much and not even noticing. To anyone with negative comments, please don't, I'm not complaining, I'm looking for good insight. I'm posting this here because I feel safer talking to strangers with no motives, than friends who might be concerned or worse, scoff at the whole idea.thanks for reading.
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Replies

  • georgie_lou
    georgie_lou Posts: 225 Member
    I also worry that once I start I wont know when to stop. I shared this with a friend of mine (who I trust wholeheartedly) and we agreed that she would tell me if this happened. Maybe talk to someone you trust?
  • Omsy828
    Omsy828 Posts: 24 Member
    I think you're just fine now weight wise (and height) im close to your height (5'6 129) and people still ask me if im going to continue losing weight. I respond with yes every single time because I have the same feeling as you. I think its time for toning and not dropping the weight now and i suggest u do the same.
  • Rayman79
    Rayman79 Posts: 2,009 Member
    As an objective observer I would say you look fine. You don't need to lose any more weight, but you are not too skinny.

    Many of us are going to struggle with who we see in the mirror, it is part of what gets us off our butts and in to the gym everyday! You need to decide what weight and body fat level is right for you, and don't let other people dictate that. The only exception is when you become unhealthily thin, but you are certainly not at that point.

    Just to illustrate my point, my boss at work asked me how light I am now, and said 'you shouldnt lose any more' (I still have close to 20% bodyfat) :huh: . Take what most people say with a grain of salt and keep moving.:drinker:
  • Patovader
    Patovader Posts: 439 Member
    I think you should stop looking at the scale and concentrate now on the toning and strengthening, as things tighten you may even gain a few pounds but the number on the scale will be meaningless anyway.

    A :)
  • LittleMissAlx
    LittleMissAlx Posts: 291 Member
    Hey! I'm 5ft4, currently about 129lb, but aiming for 120. Last time I was 120 I felt I was a bit boney, so I wouldn't want to go any further personally. I think maybe it depends on your build? I think you look great personally.
  • BeetleChe13
    BeetleChe13 Posts: 498 Member
    Hello body twin! I've been wondering this too. I started at 132 and am now 113 (at 5'2.5"). My body fat has been my main concern. It's dropped from 32 to 23%, but to reach 20%, which is my goal, I'd have to weigh like 108. :huh: Which just seems way too small. No way has said I'm too skinny though, and I'm still in a size 6 for the most part. I'm wondering how far I can take this, or if I should just give up being svelte and be happy with the 23% bf.
  • kalwi
    kalwi Posts: 10
    Well you can go lower on the scale, just start building up some muscle maybe? You will be healthy and slim!
  • Elleinnz
    Elleinnz Posts: 1,661 Member
    If the photo of you in the white tank top is you at the moment I would say you are pretty much there - any more and you would not be my idea of a healthy person....

    To me you look pretty much perfect, but if you feel you need to "tone" more work on lifting, but dont lose much more weight...
  • Moniqua1
    Moniqua1 Posts: 195 Member
    I do zumba 3-4xs a week and the.elliptical 2-3xs a week. It might be time to visit the weight machines more...the white sports bra is me now. I feel like I still have that lower belly pooch to say goodbye to! That's why I keep up with cardio (since I hear you can't target train)
  • Sister_Someone
    Sister_Someone Posts: 567 Member
    Honestly, I think you look amazing right now!

    Personally, I plan on going as small as I can healthily get, but I am quite small-boned so I guess that plays a role too.
  • Omsy828
    Omsy828 Posts: 24 Member
    Hey! I'm 5ft4, currently about 129lb, but aiming for 120. Last time I was 120 I felt I was a bit boney, so I wouldn't want to go any further personally. I think maybe it depends on your build? I think you look great personally.

    wow you look amazing for your weight, i weigh exactly the same and am 2 inches taller and a male. I wouldn't consider myself fat at all but sure don't look the same weight as u, you look like 115
  • BinaryPulsar
    BinaryPulsar Posts: 8,927 Member
    I do zumba 3-4xs a week and the.elliptical 2-3xs a week. It might be time to visit the weight machines more...the white sports bra is me now. I feel like I still have that lower belly pooch to say goodbye to! That's why I keep up with cardio (since I hear you can't target train)

    Yes, you look great. What you want to do is weights for your whole body. That will increase the muscle definition in your tummy (as you said you want to do). I am doing New Rules of Lifting for Women. I think it's fun.
  • Moniqua1
    Moniqua1 Posts: 195 Member
    Honestly, I think you look amazing right now!

    Personally, I plan on going as small as I can healthily get, but I am quite small-boned so I guess that plays a role too.

    This is how I feel too, but I get alot of eye rolls when I say it. I don't know what happened to my friends who used to be supportive, now they think I'm stupid for making it a point to go to the gym or be concerned with what I'm putting into my body.
  • amnsetie
    amnsetie Posts: 666 Member
    I would suggest maintenance calories but keep working out.
    Don't keep the calorie deficit.
    see how that goes for a coupla months,
  • Moniqua1
    Moniqua1 Posts: 195 Member
    I do zumba 3-4xs a week and the.elliptical 2-3xs a week. It might be time to visit the weight machines more...the white sports bra is me now. I feel like I still have that lower belly pooch to say goodbye to! That's why I keep up with cardio (since I hear you can't target train)

    Yes, you look great. What you want to do is weights for your whole body. That will increase the muscle definition in your tummy (as you said you want to do). I am doing New Rules of Lifting for Women. I think it's fun.
  • jimmmer
    jimmmer Posts: 3,515 Member

    This is how I feel too, but I get alot of eye rolls when I say it. I don't know what happened to my friends who used to be supportive, now they think I'm stupid for making it a point to go to the gym or be concerned with what I'm putting into my body.

    It's one thing for friends to be concerned that you may be losing too much, too quickly. But it's another thing entirely for them to think you're stupid for working out regularly or eating well. It's sad to say, but sometimes you out-grow friendships when you no longer share the same outlooks/goals in life. It's like school friends or ex-work colleagues who you no longer feel any connection with anymore (and you realised that being in the same class or office WAS the connection).

    I used to smoke (shock horror!), but gave up successfully about 17 years ago. One of the main reasons I finally succeeded after many false starts was that I stopped hanging around with the friends of mine that smoked and started making more time for my non-smoking friends. For a while it was *kitten*, but it was better for me in the long run......

    PS you do look incredible, by the way. I agree with other suggestions above. Eat at (or near) your maintenance for a while and add in more strength stuff. You're actual weight will go up (at least in the short term), but you'll be toning up, so chuck the scales away!
  • bathsheba_c
    bathsheba_c Posts: 1,873 Member
    Remember that, when people are used to seeing a lot of overweight people, normal weight looks skinnier to them. Things you might consider are a) consulting your doctor on what a heavy weight for your frame is, or b) just start building muscle now to get more toned.
  • nevertoolate2
    nevertoolate2 Posts: 309 Member
    Firstly - you look great
    Secondly - I wouldnt worry about going too far. Everything you talk about is being more toned, doing a little more. Nothing suggests to me that you have anything more in mind than a sensible ideal. The fact that you are worried about it also means you are aware of your own body image and therefore unlikely to compromise that.
    Thirdly - with regard to friends and family. My Dad continually tells me I don't need to lose more. It's well meant and well intentioned and I ignore it because I know where I want to get to. Others will have their own reasons for saying similar things. Only you can decide on what their intent is. Deal with them accordingly.

    Crack on - enjoy your body, enjoy your fitness and health, enjoy feeling good about yourself and well done on what you have achieved so far.
  • Moniqua1
    Moniqua1 Posts: 195 Member
    Thank you. I feel better knowing that I can push on with how I'm living and that I'm not crazy for thinking that I'm doing good for myself. I'm glad this.site of like-goal minded people.exists. I just don't think people "get it"
  • almostatgoalweight
    almostatgoalweight Posts: 234 Member
    The reality is that it's your body and you get to decide how much you'll weigh. When I'm at work and people ask how much I want to lose, I always halve it. People are incredibly bad at figuring out what someone will look like when they will be a certain weight. Also, you have this thing were you get used to a certain size. "Don't get too thin" I said to myself when I looked at a guy who must have gone from 120kg to 90kg at work. He's still overweight.

    The problem is that people think out aloud. "You're getting too thin" can mean "I'm used to your body size and my brain has not adjusted yet". Try and not let it bother you.
  • almostatgoalweight
    almostatgoalweight Posts: 234 Member
    The way I see it is that you're probably the thinnest 2-3% of your age, and people just aren't used to that. It's like someone who is the richest 2-3% and wants to make more money. People say "don't earn anymore, you're already rich". Having looked at your photos, you could stay at the fat percentage you are, or you could lose a little bit more.

    Honestly, you're hot, embrace it!
  • susiebear29
    susiebear29 Posts: 266
    I think you look AMAZING!! but it's not about what others think it's your body and the most important thing is how you feel!! Im 5ft 5 and 112lbs but I am not happy I still have a little tummy fat and love handles but flat chest and very skinny arms!! I can't change my shape (until I get my boobs done next year hopefully!!) so I am trying to concentrate on building muscle, toning up and eating as healthy as I can....don't let anyone make you feel bad for looking after yourself and your body it's your life not theirs!! :smile:
  • inkandsheep
    inkandsheep Posts: 101 Member
    I think you look great too!

    But looking at your diary you seem to eat very little - for someone who works out so much, eating under 1200 calories seems very low. Could you incorporate more healthy whole foods (fresh veg and fruit, beans, nuts, seeds, brown rice, quinoa, etc.) to your diet to make sure you're getting everything your body needs? I would also swap the iceberg lettuce to a dark leafy green like kale or spinach, with some healthy fats like avocado with it!
  • darkphoenix89
    darkphoenix89 Posts: 9 Member
    I think you look pretty great from your photo and as long as you've got a healthy BMI it's fine.
    I've learnt from experience to just ignore what other people think, there'll always be someone with something negative to say.
    I lost a lot of weight because of medications and dropped down to 121 but at 6ft I know I was underweight, got a lot of comments then understandably but now that I'm back up to 168 I'm still getting negative comments telling me I'm too skinny and I'm stupid for wanting to lose weight. I only want to get back to 160 so I'd still be a very healthy weight for my height but you really can't please everyone.
  • nevertoolate2
    nevertoolate2 Posts: 309 Member
    http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/health-18770328

    Use this to give yourself a bit of perspective although I warn this is largely tongue in cheek.
  • misslou7
    misslou7 Posts: 42 Member
    http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/health-18770328

    Use this to give yourself a bit of perspective although I warn this is largely tongue in cheek.

    This just makes me think I should move to Tonga..
  • marycmeadows
    marycmeadows Posts: 1,691 Member
    I found a chart online -- for females, 5'3'' ideal weights are as follows -- small frame 111-124lbs, medium frame 121-135lbs, large frame 131-147lbs

    Sounds like you're on the low end of the spectrum, and personally, I think 117 is a bit small for your height. Why don't you stick to just maintaining? It sounds like you have a distorted body image - which could easily lead to an ED.

    Congrats on going from 160-117 - but just don't get too caught up in losing. at some point you have to switch to maintaining and just living a healthy life.... losing is not an ongoing thing forever.

    link to the chart I pulled that info from -- http://www.healthchecksystems.com/heightweightchart.htm
  • londoneye
    londoneye Posts: 203 Member
    I have kind of a weird complex that I always look the same to myself... in my mind, I think other people in that size are small, but for myself, I think I'm the exception)

    Forget about weight, height, BMI etc. THIS phrase is the red flag, and you know yourself that you are starting to have an issue with food. The same thing happened to me last year. I got addicted to the control of losing weight and lost perspective. Like you, I denied to others that I was still trying to lose when I really was.

    Get help and break out of this cycle before it is too late.
    Talk to your friends or family about your mixed feelings.
    Set your MFP to maintanence for a few weeks while you reassess where you are and how far you've come.
  • bpotts44
    bpotts44 Posts: 1,066 Member
    I think you look great too!

    But looking at your diary you seem to eat very little - for someone who works out so much, eating under 1200 calories seems very low. Could you incorporate more healthy whole foods (fresh veg and fruit, beans, nuts, seeds, brown rice, quinoa, etc.) to your diet to make sure you're getting everything your body needs? I would also swap the iceberg lettuce to a dark leafy green like kale or spinach, with some healthy fats like avocado with it!

    ^^^This is great advice. Your diary shows you need to eat more. I would refocus your efforts at maintaining your current weight and adding muscle which will reduce your body fat %. Please start eating enough to fuel yourself.
  • poledancing_ninja
    poledancing_ninja Posts: 271
    Check out http://www.mybodygallery.com/

    You can enter your height and weight and see pictures of real women your height and size, see if they are too skinny? This site usually helps me keep my perspective

    EDIT: Forgot to mention I'm 5ft 2 and weigh 120lbs but I have a flabby body consitency. I reckon I could probably drop to 110 without getting 'too small'
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