Nothing really motivates me. Help!!!

EilatanGrace
EilatanGrace Posts: 6
in Motivation and Support
I've been trying to lose weight FOREVER. And I know everyone else her does too and I feel like everyone has motivation, but me? None. There are things I want to fit into, places I want to shop, people I want to look like, people I want to like me but with all those wants I can't get becuase for some reason in my head it isn't enough for me to work hard on losing weight. The crave is in my head for awhile but then I just lose it and accept how I am. I know, pathetic. I don't know why it's so hard for me. I can't just tell myself YOULL LOOK BETTER, HARD WORK WILL PAY OFF. Even when people started telling me oh you are losing weight, it made me happy, but I didn't have that motivation like, oh gotta keep up the good work! It's working. Go harder. I don't know what to do....

Replies

  • Dethea
    Dethea Posts: 247 Member
    It sounds to me like you just don't want it bad enough...

    Or maybe you should go to your doctor and get some tests done, or visit a therapist. Intense apathy is a sign of depression.
  • MizSaz
    MizSaz Posts: 445 Member
    You need to figure out what works for you. When you're always "on a diet", I think, it's really easy to get caught up in being miserable about all the things you can't have. Losing weight doesn't have to feel like punishment. Just figure out what works for you, and what you can sustain in the long term, WITHOUT feeling like you're missing out on something.
  • steph124ny
    steph124ny Posts: 238 Member
    Sometimes you just have to do things you aren't motivated to do, right? I am most definitely not motivated to do laundry or clean my house...but I have to so I do it. Just look at it as something you simply have to do and take the "motivation" part out of the picture. If you are constantly waiting to feel motivation, then it is simply an excuse to not have to change.
  • britn3y
    britn3y Posts: 4
    This is totally me but I can't loose much :(!!
  • Meatsies
    Meatsies Posts: 351 Member
    Yeah, sorry to say, but I agree with Dethea...no one can motivate you. If you can't find that motivation, I'm afraid nothing will probably work. You need to hit a point where YOU make the changes, where you want it enough, where it means enough to you. No one here will be able to give you magic words that will make you suddenly Super-Fitness-Awesome-Extraordinaire. You need to do that part for yourself. Lots of people here can encourage, but they can't lose the weight for you or make you want it more.
  • vim_n_vigor
    vim_n_vigor Posts: 4,089 Member
    You need to figure out what works for you. When you're always "on a diet", I think, it's really easy to get caught up in being miserable about all the things you can't have. Losing weight doesn't have to feel like punishment. Just figure out what works for you, and what you can sustain in the long term, WITHOUT feeling like you're missing out on something.

    This right here. You should still be able to enjoy what you are doing and what you are eating, even while losing weight. No one else can give you the motivation. You need to find it. What you are focusing on right now is obviously not enough to get you into it.
  • piebird79
    piebird79 Posts: 201 Member
    Sometimes you just have to do things you aren't motivated to do, right? I am most definitely not motivated to do laundry or clean my house...but I have to so I do it. Just look at it as something you simply have to do and take the "motivation" part out of the picture. If you are constantly waiting to feel motivation, then it is simply an excuse to not have to change.

    :laugh:
  • nikinyx6
    nikinyx6 Posts: 772 Member
    Having awesome motivating friends here has helped me more than anything else in this world. THANKS MFP'S! Start adding people, if they're good friends, they'll cheer you on, and let you know what you can do to be a better you!
  • luvinlife2012
    luvinlife2012 Posts: 23 Member
    Make your goals specific, write them down, know your numbers, make one change at a time until it becomes a habit. Exactly how much do want to lose on the scale? What's your BMI? Your BMR? Your WHR? Don't be influenced by outside stimuli. How will you benefit from weight loss?

    Not until I was diagnosed with cancer was I "on point". I was diagnosed the day before Thanksgving, spent Christmas in NYC with my daughter and son-in-law. That trip compared to the one the prior year really showed me the decline in my health. I was in excruciating pain and just miserable. I doubted if I'd want to return. And I LOVE NewYork! I had surgery in January, treatment in February, and in March I began my journey. I only worked out a grand total of 45 minutes per week. I climbed stairs from the basement to the penthouse (13 floors) one round and back down, on Mon, Wed, Fri at work. Took me 15 minutes. After a while I was able to make 2 passes. Then in April the company put up a fitness challenge and I joined with 104 others. Slowly my strength regained, I added different workouts, and made healthy food choices. I did the Warrior Dash in June and finished a half hour sooner than I thought I would, and comepleted every obstacle. By end of June I lost 28 pounds (ranked in 4th place), but I gained so much in strength and stamina, I'm pain free, cancer free. It's the non-scale victories that are life changing. I will never stop. Everything I do is to regain and maintain my health. I feel better now than I have in five years. My total weight loss goal is 66 pounds and I only take it in 10 pound chunks, celebrate every weight bracket.. My current focus is the 13 pounds that will get me into a healthy BMI .....I moved from obese to overweight and getting to "normal" will be a HUGE non scale victory.

    I have a list (seriously) of non-scale victories. #8 on the list is the fact that I can now fit my calves into long barralled boots...no biggee to some, but last winter I wanted a pair and tried every boot in Tulsa....was a no go. This is HUGE for me.
  • piebird79
    piebird79 Posts: 201 Member
    [/quote]

    :laugh:
    [/quote]

    Oops, posted before typing. This is so true. I frequently don't feel like going to the gym, but I make myself. It's just part of the routine at this point.
  • ccarre81
    ccarre81 Posts: 134 Member
    You just have to do it... if your waiting for the motivation to just come you're in for a big disapointment. For me, it's a committment. Am I always motivated to go out at 8PM for a workout? No... do I do it anyway, yes. Why? Because I have to, plain and simple. Some days I'm more "motivated" than others, which I suppose stems from the progress I see.
  • AmyRhubarb
    AmyRhubarb Posts: 6,890 Member
    It sounds like you must have SOME motivation or you wouldn't be on MFP and posting about it. You just have to start - make a plan for exercise and healthy eating, set a short term goal, even if it's just to do some form of exercise for a week, and then go get it! Lay your workout clothes out the night before, put them somewhere you can't miss them, start your day with the workout and then it's done!

    You just have to resolve to do it. You can keep making excuses - I still do sometimes, and today is my 325th straight day of logging into MFP, and there are still days I'm just not feeling it. We all have days we don't feel like getting after it, you just have convince yourself that you CAN do it, and that you WILL do it, and then just DO IT! :smile:
  • Dad_of_3
    Dad_of_3 Posts: 517 Member
    I have been there, but if you keep putting it off, it gets worse. Then you become so large that it requires more dedication than motivation.

    In the words of the old Nike slogan: Just Do It.
  • EilatanGrace
    EilatanGrace Posts: 6
    I do go 5 days a week and I am losing weight. It's just my mentality. I have tried losing weight 2 times before and ended quitting do to those reasons. I'm just afraid history will repeat it self. And yes that is why i join MFP. I knew there would be a alot of support here i dont have much of that on the outside world mabe just one other person who is my workout buddy.Thanks everyone for your input.
  • steph124ny
    steph124ny Posts: 238 Member
    Just keep moving forward. As you start to lose the weight, your confidence will increase as well. This will lead to more of an "outside world" life and more friends. When you have those days when you feel like quitting, just do it anyway and push through it.

    Maybe you should look into other activities to get you out and about? Volunteer maybe? You could read to kids at the library, or rock babies in the hospital nursery. You would met like minded people and your life would just take off from there. Put yourself out there and give it a try!
  • lulu3561
    lulu3561 Posts: 85 Member
    Start with small goals - remember you don't have to be perfect - any step in the right direction is a good one. For me it was a nightmare that I had gained 100 pounds since the last time I tried losing weight 3 years ago. That made me finally get on the scale and make small changes and now 58 pounds down. You need to reach into yourself and find that motivation. The brain and body are inextricably connected you can't address the body without addressing the brain and vice versa. Remember it gets harder as you age do it now while you're still young. Every day you have a chance to make the choice to make changes. :):flowerforyou:
  • QueChulaYo
    QueChulaYo Posts: 71
    start by making the decision to TRY. once you decide, then set 1 goal, like walking 30 mins everyday. yah! you did it? on to the next goal, like eating at your caloric goal all week no cheating. done?? next goal........

    losing weight is hard work, but encouragement is easy...... motivational messages and awesome friends who cheer you on and motivate you to make life changing choices everyday, are key.

    Believe in yourself, after all you have to be your biggest cheerleader.
  • kawate2
    kawate2 Posts: 1
    Part of my motivation is wanting to live a healthy life free of health problems. Nobody is happy when they are sick. Just having 5 extra pounds on your stomach can be the cause of many health problems. Taking care of yourself and your body should be your first priority. You can't take care of anyone or anything else if you are not well. Being a healthy weight can prevent many problems. I looked at my BMI and it was a wake up call. I don't feel that fat and I wasn't too far from the obese range! I want to be healthy not only for me, but for my family. Maybe educate yourself a little more on the problems of being over weight and that will be motivation.

    Sometimes to get in my exercise I walk to places if I can. Yesterday I walked to the grocery and back and knocked out two things on my to do list, go to the grocery and exercise. If there is anywhere you can walk or bike to, try that! I hope you find your motivation!
  • harlanJEN
    harlanJEN Posts: 1,089 Member
    Yeah, sorry to say, but I agree with Dethea...no one can motivate you. If you can't find that motivation, I'm afraid nothing will probably work. You need to hit a point where YOU make the changes, where you want it enough, where it means enough to you. No one here will be able to give you magic words that will make you suddenly Super-Fitness-Awesome-Extraordinaire. You need to do that part for yourself. Lots of people here can encourage, but they can't lose the weight for you or make you want it more.

    ^^^^ This

    YOU have to be READY. If you are not, then there really isnt anyone or anything that will "make" you GET WITH IT. You have to be ready and you have to do it for YOU.

    Diets don't work. Lifestyle changes ...one step at a time ...for life

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