Need a little support and motivation...

Options
Rachlet_15
Rachlet_15 Posts: 9
in Motivation and Support
So I'm brand new to this site, but not to my attempts with losing weight. It has always seemed like an uphill battle for me, but not because the weight refuses to come off: it's because I have zero tenacity or willpower.

I was at my largest about 2 years ago when I met my current boyfriend/fiance-ish. When we started dating and losing weight together (on HCG) I lost over 60 lbs. But, i couldn't live the HCG lifestyle. I have no willpower when it comes to food, and just ate normally, gaining back about 20lbs.

I have tried a little of this and a little of that ever since. I'll love another 10lbs, then put them right back on again.
My boyfriend (who is my ultimate inspiration, having lost 120lbs on his own through sheer willpower) is absolutely no help. He sees the world as black and white: you either want to lose weight and follow a diet, or you don't and won't.
He doesn't understand the "Come on, honey, i know you can do this!" encouragement, so I've never received it.

I just feel like I need a push, need that support, but don't ever receive it. I feel as though I'm too weak minded, and submissive to stink to my own diet, make separate meals, wake up at 4am without any encouragement .

So I guess this turned into more of a vent than a request or questions. I was just hoping that I wasn't alone in these feelings... :embarassed: :frown:
«1

Replies

  • giniginib
    giniginib Posts: 8 Member
    Options
    Hi Rachel,

    I totally empathise with you!

    My fiance is one of those people who can eat his weight in rubbish and not put any weight at all on! He just doesn't get that it's really difficult for me to manage my weight, so doesn't see the need for encouragement.

    Feel free to add me if you want a little boost every now and then!! I found a really good way to motivate myself is to put post-it notes in areas where I see them most (one by my work computer, one by my mirror, one in my car) and they really help me - might not work for you, but anythings worth a try!!

    Gini
  • Timby1
    Timby1 Posts: 294 Member
    Options
    Hi Rachel,
    I'm new to this site too (started last week). I know the feeling of not having the strength to say no to foods, but it's time that I do, and mean it. Sometimes it takes something drastic to get our attention (health problems, etc) and sometimes we just have to get sick and tired of being sick and tired. That's where I am now. I've been on this weight loss path before, but trust me, it gets harder as I get older (I'm 50). I don't want to be overweight any more. I like to hang out on the success stories forum, they give me great inspiration. Feel free to add me as a friend. YOU CAN DO THIS! (and so can I).
  • Rachlet_15
    Rachlet_15 Posts: 9
    Options
    Thanks guys. It is awesome to know that i'm not alone, as well as not a head case. Sometimes I wonder if he's right, and it's just all me sabotaging myself...which is partially is, of course, but certainly not because I want to stay my current weight.

    I feel like i could do it with encouragement. I know i should be able to do it without it, but i don't have the self-esteem to be able to..be proud of myself? Have faith in myself? I don't know how to word it properly...
  • jenlarz
    jenlarz Posts: 813 Member
    Options
    This is a great place to get the support you need! Don't do a "diet" . It's gotta be a lifestyle change. Learn what foods to eat to satisfy you and stay healthy but don't give up all your treats! Worked pretty good for me so far, and I have been up and down in weight many times. Feel free to add me if you like!
  • corneliagertruda
    corneliagertruda Posts: 2
    Options
    I am also a newbie. I find it disheartening as well. My sister, daughter and I made a pact to loose 10% of our body weight by Thanksgiving, which gives us 6 weeks to accomplish this. I don't have their will power so I'm not sure about this. Keep trying, I guess...just putting one foot in front of another or stay away from one food or another.
  • Rachlet_15
    Rachlet_15 Posts: 9
    Options
    I am also a newbie. I find it disheartening as well. My sister, daughter and I made a pact to loose 10% of our body weight by Thanksgiving, which gives us 6 weeks to accomplish this. I don't have their will power so I'm not sure about this. Keep trying, I guess...just putting one foot in front of another or stay away from one food or another.

    Very true!
  • Rachlet_15
    Rachlet_15 Posts: 9
    Options
    Bumping selfishly...:embarassed:
  • oh_em_gee
    oh_em_gee Posts: 887 Member
    Options
    I'm in the same boat. My bf says he's proud of me, but he doesn't understand cumpulsive eating at all. He can eat whatever and still weigh 180 on the dot at 6'3". I'm ashamed to say I weigh more than him now. Anyway, I can provide that "good job!" encouragement if you'd like
  • scottydewwannalosewt
    scottydewwannalosewt Posts: 52 Member
    Options
    Hi Rachlet

    The first thing I noticed from reading your post is that you need to get back your self-confidence and start believing in yourself.
    Your not alone in your feelings and you are going to find that from within this site that you are going to find a lot of people to give you the support that you are going to need. Please make lots of friends here and they will help give you that liltle push that you mentioned.

    Scott

    p.s. Remind yourself that you've done if before so you get do it again. The only person holding you back is yourself.

    To get that willpower start by gradually cutting back on your portions. Try cutting things in half. Purposely ask for a to go container (before) you start eating. And then have the leftover portion for lunch, supper, the next day. Also start looking at the portion sizes.

    I know you can do it and know you need to restore that confidence within yourself.


    I have tried a little of this and a little of that ever since. I'll love another 10lbs, then put them right back on again.
    My boyfriend (who is my ultimate inspiration, having lost 120lbs on his own through sheer willpower) is absolutely no help. He sees the world as black and white: you either want to lose weight and follow a diet, or you don't and won't.
    He doesn't understand the "Come on, honey, i know you can do this!" encouragement, so I've never received it.

    Scott
  • Rachlet_15
    Rachlet_15 Posts: 9
    Options


    To get that willpower start by gradually cutting back on your portions. Try cutting things in half. Purposely ask for a to go container (before) you start eating. And then have the leftover portion for lunch, supper, the next day. Also start looking at the portion sizes.


    Thank you Scott, very much! I appreciate the support and nudge.
    I especially loved this tip!! I would have never thought of it!
  • scruffykaz
    scruffykaz Posts: 317 Member
    Options
    Welcome to MFP! I am quite new to the weight loss journey too and I have days where I really struggle. One of the things I find most useful about this site is the community aspect and the support.

    I've done the following which has helped:

    *taking things one step at a time. I've had to accept that this is a long, often hard journey and it won't happen overnight.

    * Changing my lifestyle, not just going on a diet for a set period of time.

    * Not being too hard on myself if I have a bad day/week. I've come to realise that this isn't the end of the journey, just a set back and got back on with it.

    * Making friends and asking for help. This has been invaluable.

    I know that a lot of this will seem obvious.....good luck on your journey and feel free to add me :-D
  • Rachlet_15
    Rachlet_15 Posts: 9
    Options
    So, it turns out that I do really have a question:

    Is it selfish if I come on here and ask "I need some asskicking today, friends come in?"

    :laugh:
  • SouthernCountryGirl
    SouthernCountryGirl Posts: 195 Member
    Options
    Not at all! I've done it before with my friends and they were the uplift I needed to get moving! I wish you success on your journey, feel free to add me :D
  • oh_em_gee
    oh_em_gee Posts: 887 Member
    Options
    So, it turns out that I do really have a question:

    Is it selfish if I come on here and ask "I need some asskicking today, friends come in?"

    :laugh:

    No, I think we all need that sometimes
  • GiaLaDiva
    GiaLaDiva Posts: 26
    Options
    This is the right place for the motivation and support. I've only been on here for a few days and the people encourage to the max. Try planning your meals the night before even pre-packing them. So that you can just pull it out of the container and eat it. Make sure your eating 3 small meals a day and 2 snacks. If those are to hard start small by trying to cut out sugary drinks and drink straight water. It all starts with baby steps. Takes 21 days to form a habit start out small if you dont excercise often, try walking 5 min in place in your home and build up from there. It all adds up in the end. You dont have to do drastic things to get to your goal just start with small steps. I'm on a weight loss journey myself and have found all these things to work for me. Set small goals and reward yourself with little rewards. Please feel free to contact me. I'm here for support.
  • ChapinaGrande
    ChapinaGrande Posts: 289 Member
    Options
    So, it turns out that I do really have a question:

    Is it selfish if I come on here and ask "I need some asskicking today, friends come in?"

    :laugh:

    No, Ma'am! That's the point of MFP! When I first joined, I thought that having friends would be pointless and silly. However, I have a couple friends now and they are REALLY helping me out by checking my food diary. Add me! I would love to have more people to support and vice versa! It's such a buzz to get on here and see some kind of virtual pat on the back for having a good day.
  • GiaLaDiva
    GiaLaDiva Posts: 26
    Options
    you can do it!
  • susiebear29
    susiebear29 Posts: 266
    Options
    feel free to add me im on here every day and always ready to offer support, my other half is exactly the same, he eats whatever he wants and burns it all off at work, he totally doesn't understand my problems with food it's very frustrating!! there is alot of support on MFP and alot of people willing to motivate each other, good luck on your health and fitness journey!! you can do it!! :smile:
  • KelseyPalmtree
    KelseyPalmtree Posts: 89
    Options
    So, it turns out that I do really have a question:

    Is it selfish if I come on here and ask "I need some asskicking today, friends come in?"

    :laugh:

    Haha, no, it's not selfish at all. Support from friends is about friends giving you what you need. If it's asskicking you need, feel free to ask for it. Or anything else you need :)
  • lmb1103
    lmb1103 Posts: 4 Member
    Options
    I'm new to this too! Feel free to add me if you would like also. I have been doing this for a week and I really like it so far! I started with watching my portions. Good luck! :smile:

Categories