Need a little support and motivation...
Rachlet_15
Posts: 9
So I'm brand new to this site, but not to my attempts with losing weight. It has always seemed like an uphill battle for me, but not because the weight refuses to come off: it's because I have zero tenacity or willpower.
I was at my largest about 2 years ago when I met my current boyfriend/fiance-ish. When we started dating and losing weight together (on HCG) I lost over 60 lbs. But, i couldn't live the HCG lifestyle. I have no willpower when it comes to food, and just ate normally, gaining back about 20lbs.
I have tried a little of this and a little of that ever since. I'll love another 10lbs, then put them right back on again.
My boyfriend (who is my ultimate inspiration, having lost 120lbs on his own through sheer willpower) is absolutely no help. He sees the world as black and white: you either want to lose weight and follow a diet, or you don't and won't.
He doesn't understand the "Come on, honey, i know you can do this!" encouragement, so I've never received it.
I just feel like I need a push, need that support, but don't ever receive it. I feel as though I'm too weak minded, and submissive to stink to my own diet, make separate meals, wake up at 4am without any encouragement .
So I guess this turned into more of a vent than a request or questions. I was just hoping that I wasn't alone in these feelings... :frown:
I was at my largest about 2 years ago when I met my current boyfriend/fiance-ish. When we started dating and losing weight together (on HCG) I lost over 60 lbs. But, i couldn't live the HCG lifestyle. I have no willpower when it comes to food, and just ate normally, gaining back about 20lbs.
I have tried a little of this and a little of that ever since. I'll love another 10lbs, then put them right back on again.
My boyfriend (who is my ultimate inspiration, having lost 120lbs on his own through sheer willpower) is absolutely no help. He sees the world as black and white: you either want to lose weight and follow a diet, or you don't and won't.
He doesn't understand the "Come on, honey, i know you can do this!" encouragement, so I've never received it.
I just feel like I need a push, need that support, but don't ever receive it. I feel as though I'm too weak minded, and submissive to stink to my own diet, make separate meals, wake up at 4am without any encouragement .
So I guess this turned into more of a vent than a request or questions. I was just hoping that I wasn't alone in these feelings... :frown:
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Replies
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Hi Rachel,
I totally empathise with you!
My fiance is one of those people who can eat his weight in rubbish and not put any weight at all on! He just doesn't get that it's really difficult for me to manage my weight, so doesn't see the need for encouragement.
Feel free to add me if you want a little boost every now and then!! I found a really good way to motivate myself is to put post-it notes in areas where I see them most (one by my work computer, one by my mirror, one in my car) and they really help me - might not work for you, but anythings worth a try!!
Gini0 -
Hi Rachel,
I'm new to this site too (started last week). I know the feeling of not having the strength to say no to foods, but it's time that I do, and mean it. Sometimes it takes something drastic to get our attention (health problems, etc) and sometimes we just have to get sick and tired of being sick and tired. That's where I am now. I've been on this weight loss path before, but trust me, it gets harder as I get older (I'm 50). I don't want to be overweight any more. I like to hang out on the success stories forum, they give me great inspiration. Feel free to add me as a friend. YOU CAN DO THIS! (and so can I).0 -
Thanks guys. It is awesome to know that i'm not alone, as well as not a head case. Sometimes I wonder if he's right, and it's just all me sabotaging myself...which is partially is, of course, but certainly not because I want to stay my current weight.
I feel like i could do it with encouragement. I know i should be able to do it without it, but i don't have the self-esteem to be able to..be proud of myself? Have faith in myself? I don't know how to word it properly...0 -
This is a great place to get the support you need! Don't do a "diet" . It's gotta be a lifestyle change. Learn what foods to eat to satisfy you and stay healthy but don't give up all your treats! Worked pretty good for me so far, and I have been up and down in weight many times. Feel free to add me if you like!0
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I am also a newbie. I find it disheartening as well. My sister, daughter and I made a pact to loose 10% of our body weight by Thanksgiving, which gives us 6 weeks to accomplish this. I don't have their will power so I'm not sure about this. Keep trying, I guess...just putting one foot in front of another or stay away from one food or another.0
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I am also a newbie. I find it disheartening as well. My sister, daughter and I made a pact to loose 10% of our body weight by Thanksgiving, which gives us 6 weeks to accomplish this. I don't have their will power so I'm not sure about this. Keep trying, I guess...just putting one foot in front of another or stay away from one food or another.
Very true!0 -
Bumping selfishly...:embarassed:0
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I'm in the same boat. My bf says he's proud of me, but he doesn't understand cumpulsive eating at all. He can eat whatever and still weigh 180 on the dot at 6'3". I'm ashamed to say I weigh more than him now. Anyway, I can provide that "good job!" encouragement if you'd like0
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Hi Rachlet
The first thing I noticed from reading your post is that you need to get back your self-confidence and start believing in yourself.
Your not alone in your feelings and you are going to find that from within this site that you are going to find a lot of people to give you the support that you are going to need. Please make lots of friends here and they will help give you that liltle push that you mentioned.
Scott
p.s. Remind yourself that you've done if before so you get do it again. The only person holding you back is yourself.
To get that willpower start by gradually cutting back on your portions. Try cutting things in half. Purposely ask for a to go container (before) you start eating. And then have the leftover portion for lunch, supper, the next day. Also start looking at the portion sizes.
I know you can do it and know you need to restore that confidence within yourself.
I have tried a little of this and a little of that ever since. I'll love another 10lbs, then put them right back on again.
My boyfriend (who is my ultimate inspiration, having lost 120lbs on his own through sheer willpower) is absolutely no help. He sees the world as black and white: you either want to lose weight and follow a diet, or you don't and won't.
He doesn't understand the "Come on, honey, i know you can do this!" encouragement, so I've never received it.
Scott0 -
To get that willpower start by gradually cutting back on your portions. Try cutting things in half. Purposely ask for a to go container (before) you start eating. And then have the leftover portion for lunch, supper, the next day. Also start looking at the portion sizes.
Thank you Scott, very much! I appreciate the support and nudge.
I especially loved this tip!! I would have never thought of it!0 -
Welcome to MFP! I am quite new to the weight loss journey too and I have days where I really struggle. One of the things I find most useful about this site is the community aspect and the support.
I've done the following which has helped:
*taking things one step at a time. I've had to accept that this is a long, often hard journey and it won't happen overnight.
* Changing my lifestyle, not just going on a diet for a set period of time.
* Not being too hard on myself if I have a bad day/week. I've come to realise that this isn't the end of the journey, just a set back and got back on with it.
* Making friends and asking for help. This has been invaluable.
I know that a lot of this will seem obvious.....good luck on your journey and feel free to add me :-D0 -
So, it turns out that I do really have a question:
Is it selfish if I come on here and ask "I need some asskicking today, friends come in?"
:laugh:0 -
Not at all! I've done it before with my friends and they were the uplift I needed to get moving! I wish you success on your journey, feel free to add me0
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So, it turns out that I do really have a question:
Is it selfish if I come on here and ask "I need some asskicking today, friends come in?"
:laugh:
No, I think we all need that sometimes0 -
This is the right place for the motivation and support. I've only been on here for a few days and the people encourage to the max. Try planning your meals the night before even pre-packing them. So that you can just pull it out of the container and eat it. Make sure your eating 3 small meals a day and 2 snacks. If those are to hard start small by trying to cut out sugary drinks and drink straight water. It all starts with baby steps. Takes 21 days to form a habit start out small if you dont excercise often, try walking 5 min in place in your home and build up from there. It all adds up in the end. You dont have to do drastic things to get to your goal just start with small steps. I'm on a weight loss journey myself and have found all these things to work for me. Set small goals and reward yourself with little rewards. Please feel free to contact me. I'm here for support.0
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So, it turns out that I do really have a question:
Is it selfish if I come on here and ask "I need some asskicking today, friends come in?"
:laugh:
No, Ma'am! That's the point of MFP! When I first joined, I thought that having friends would be pointless and silly. However, I have a couple friends now and they are REALLY helping me out by checking my food diary. Add me! I would love to have more people to support and vice versa! It's such a buzz to get on here and see some kind of virtual pat on the back for having a good day.0 -
you can do it!0
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feel free to add me im on here every day and always ready to offer support, my other half is exactly the same, he eats whatever he wants and burns it all off at work, he totally doesn't understand my problems with food it's very frustrating!! there is alot of support on MFP and alot of people willing to motivate each other, good luck on your health and fitness journey!! you can do it!!0
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So, it turns out that I do really have a question:
Is it selfish if I come on here and ask "I need some asskicking today, friends come in?"
:laugh:
Haha, no, it's not selfish at all. Support from friends is about friends giving you what you need. If it's asskicking you need, feel free to ask for it. Or anything else you need0 -
I'm new to this too! Feel free to add me if you would like also. I have been doing this for a week and I really like it so far! I started with watching my portions. Good luck!0
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To get that willpower start by gradually cutting back on your portions. Try cutting things in half. Purposely ask for a to go container (before) you start eating. And then have the leftover portion for lunch, supper, the next day. Also start looking at the portion sizes.
Thank you Scott, very much! I appreciate the support and nudge.
I especially loved this tip!! I would have never thought of it!
This is a great tip, and something I tried for a long time. Unfortunately, I found that when I took the food home, I sat down and ate it as soon as I got there, accomplishing nothing by setting it aside. I have started boxing the food up, then just leaving it on the table at the restaurant. Out of sight, out of mind.
BTW, I KNOW YOU CAN DO THIS!0 -
Hi Rachel,
I just recently started using MFP religiously on my tablet and don't come here often, so probably wouldn't be a good consistent motivator, but have some thoughts for you that might help out. (But feel free to friend me if you wish, and I'll be more than happy to help you out, and will certainly respond to any messages you send me.) And as you'll find out, I'm not short of words to say when I actually start talking.
I've always been pretty fit, but over the course of years my weight gradually climbed until I was about 25 pounds heavier than I really felt I should be. I started working out more seriously, but that didn't affect anything. I lost neither pounds nor inches. So I got curious about how much food I was REALLY eating on a daily basis and just started tracking my calorie intake. This was before I knew about MFP, so it was a pain to do, but the result was AMAZING. I wasn't even really trying to lose weight at that point, I just wanted to know how many calories I was eating each day, knowing how many calories I SHOULD be eating each day. Once I started looking at serving sizes, I was absolutely blown away. A serving size for tortilla chips is like 14 chips. My reaction was, "Seriously???? Just 14 chips???" That was a major eye-opener for me.
I found myself at the office with a choice of snacks before me. I could eat 20 chocolate covered raisins and be satisfied for about 30 minutes, or I could eat an apple and be satisfied for 90 minutes, then eat some carrots and be satisfied for another 90 minutes and for the same amount of calories as the 20 measly chocolate covered raisins. Just looking at the serving size and weighing the satisfaction level for the foods I was eating made me naturally choose the healthier foods and I found that I lost 25 pounds in a matter of a couple months, again without every really thinking of myself as being "on a diet". (For the record, I still eat the chocolate covered raisins, but I do so in a more measured fashion than I used to.) As a result, I never feel deprived, but I eat my healthily.
That experience made me a true believer and repeater of the mantra, "Calories in, calories out." You can exercise until you're blue in the face, but if you consume more calories than you burn, you'll never lose weight. You will become more fit, but you won't lose weight. (That may not be entirely true, but you know what I mean.)
Another thing that helps me out is that I refuse to let myself off the hook. My goal is to exercise every day after work (I sometimes give myself a pass on weekends or if I have plans in the evenings on weekdays). There are days that I definitely do NOT feel like working out when I get home. I get through that in a couple of ways. One, if I delay and say, "I'll work out after dinner." Or, "I'll workout after I check my e-mail." Odds are it will never happen. I walk in the door, get a drink, maybe a snack, and get right down to it. Once you get into that habit, it's easier to get done. Let yourself have a lazy workout every now and again, but always do SOMETHING. There are times when all I'll do is 5 minutes of abs (or whatever), but I always at least do something. That reinforces the habit and makes it easier to stay motivated on those tough days when all you want to do is crash. This is what I call the "grim determination" that is sometimes the only thing that gets me going. I want to blow it off, but after long habit, something inside me says, "No, do not let your negative attitude defeat you. Work out. Now." And I do. And I NEVER feel worse after I exercise than I did before.
Back to portions and serving sizes. One thing that helped me out is that I would find out the portion size and pull that much of that food out of the package and put it in a separate container. Put the package away. I never recommend doing something like eating potato chips right out of the bag. It is way too easy to lose track of how many you've eaten or to keep saying, "just one more." and before you know it you've eaten about 8 servings and consumed half your daily caloric intake. Seeing how much a serving is (and thinking about how long that will keep you satisfied) is also great motivation to eat healthier, more filling foods. An entire zucchini has fewer calories that a dozen potato chips. So does an apple.
If you happen to be competitive (especially with yourself), here's another trick: Make a game/challenge for yourself. For example, I have a list of 10 things that I have decided are extremely important to me and that I want to do on a weekly basis (for example, reading, learning something new, working on my website, exercising, learning Spanish, etc.) For every day that I do one of those goals for 30 minutes, I give myself a point. My goal is to rack up at least 11 points each week, meaning I will have spent at least 5.5 hours working towards my goals. (If I read for 2 hours, I still only get one point, which is my way of forcing myself to diversify what I do in order to reach my goal. Though if I do something for at least 15 minutes, I will give myself half points.) I hate not reaching my potential (not reaching my 11 points per week), and as a result I VERY rarely fail to do what it takes to get me over the top (and often well over the top.)
Anyway, hopefully you'll find something in all of that jabber above that you can apply to your life and help you achieve your goals. You can definitely do it.
As an additional little motivator, due to back problems and the subsequent inability to exercise, my wife has been gaining weight for about a year and a half now. She absolutely HATES counting calories and has always felt that all she needed to do was eat healthy things and she would lose weight. It never worked. I repeated my "calories in, calories out" (CICO) mantra to her over and over again to get her motivated to count calories, but she always resisted. After finding MFP just a couple of weeks ago, which made it easier for me to help her track her calories, she has been following the CICO mantra. Yesterday she told me she has lost 2.5 pounds! She had done nothing but gain weight for 18 months, and in two weeks of CICO, she lost 2.5 pounds. I'm a true believer. It works. So just know that. Follow it. And succeed!
Take care,
Brian0 -
So, it turns out that I do really have a question:
Is it selfish if I come on here and ask "I need some asskicking today, friends come in?"
:laugh:
That's what we're here for!! Isn't it funny how strangers can often be more supportive than friends or family? Take a look at my status update yesterday - needed a little encouragement to stop myself 'falling off the wagon' so to speak! I asked and most certianly got it!!
And don't forget...we're either going through it too or have already been through it! You are never alone on here!!!0 -
Hi, My name is Linda,
I can agree with all of you all I just joined today and well me and my daughter who is 16 and has been dealing with thyroids since she was 3 is now a 250lbs and is very overweight. She and I both need to loose the weight but we have no motivation and we have tried to do diets and have had no success. It hurts me cause I can't help her cause I can't even begin to help myself. So I thought maybe some others felt the same way. As a mom I feel I let her down and she tries so hard she is a trooper. Anyway we need some help in the motivation dept. So if anyone has any advice we would take it and appreciate it.0 -
me to i am new to0
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This is more about how you feel he should be encouraging you --
Read or simply take the 5 love languages quiz. Yours sounds like "Words of Affirmation." While his must be something else completely.
It's a fun little way to figure out how your SO feels and shows love.
Lots of supportive people on MFP -- I've definately stuck around longer than orginally planned just for that reason.0
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