Returning to MyFitness Pal

I had stopped using MyFitness Pal when I became so obsessed with logging calories that I felt horrendous guilt no matter what I ate. Just watching the number of calories per day, even when it stayed below my target, made me mad and upset with myself. I am trying to find a balance because I definitely gained weight when I stopped using it. I actually really like working out, and usually do at least 5 days a week if not 6-7--- a mix of cardio and strength training, but after getting myself down from nearly 200 lbs *my heaviest and I was only a senior in highschool* I have been stuck, fluctuating between 128-140. I don't know how to find the balance without feeling guilty. I don't know how to stop being obsessive about the number because I was at one of my lowest points when I weight my least. How do you find the balance?