Who has one of "those" friends?

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amyowens08
amyowens08 Posts: 107 Member
in Chit-Chat
I have a friend who has also decided to make diet and exercise a regular part of her life. I'm super stoked for her and have been super supportive and I've fussed over all of her achievements.

HOWEVER since she's started working out everything seems to be a competition to her. If I'm excited over something I've achieved, she has to trump it with something "better" . What ever happened to just being able to give an encouraging word? A "Good for you!" or "That's so awesome!" Nope...instead she feels the need to one-up me (or try to) and I usually just end up telling her how great and awesome it is. I seriously don't even want to talk to her about fitness anymore.

It's super irritating.....

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  • minkakross
    minkakross Posts: 687 Member
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    some people are motivated by competition, obviously you aren't. have you told your friend how you feel? It's possible she doesn't realize she's doing it. You might simply explain what you've said here (I paraphrase) One upsmanship is fine but it would be more helpful to me if you could also lend some encouraging words now and then.
  • sillygoose1977
    sillygoose1977 Posts: 2,151 Member
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    My ex was like this. I emphasize the EX part. No man should try to outdo his girlfriend all. the. time.
  • MB_Positif
    MB_Positif Posts: 8,897 Member
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    She's a "one upper." I tend to do this, but in all honesty it's usually just because I am so freaking excited to have someone talking about something I am also into.
  • amyowens08
    amyowens08 Posts: 107 Member
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    some people are motivated by competition, obviously you aren't. have you told your friend how you feel? It's possible she doesn't realize she's doing it. You might simply explain what you've said here (I paraphrase) One upsmanship is fine but it would be more helpful to me if you could also lend some encouraging words now and then.

    I wish I felt comfortable telling her about it. Last year we had an arrangement to drop off and pick up each other's kids for school...she made my daughter late 6 times. When I told her I'd prefer to take the kids in the mornings so I can be sure my daughter got there on time, she completely exploded and didn't talk to me for almost a month. She's VERY sensitive and tends to blow things WAY out of proportion.

    If I approached her about the exercise stuff I can pretty much guarantee she'd lose her crap.
  • dad106
    dad106 Posts: 4,868 Member
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    I have this friend.

    I posted a status on facebook about how my trainer was getting compliments about me. Then one of my sorority sisters asked if I ran, and if so how we should get a bunch of sisters together and do a 5K. Well said friend saw the status, and suddenly it was all about her and what runs she wanted to do.. and then she started texting me complaining about how she couldn't do a challenge at our gym because she doesn't have enough money for one on one training and if only she did then she'd do really well like me.

    I was like seriously.. this is my moment to shine. No one cares about you and what you think!
  • akiss4u2tam
    akiss4u2tam Posts: 50
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    I am "that" person.... It's in our DNA... We are the ever competitive people.... We don't mean any harm... Not trying to trump you... In fact..... You are our motivation!!!! WE LOVE OUR FRIENDS!!!! LOL
  • amyowens08
    amyowens08 Posts: 107 Member
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    I am "that" person.... It's in our DNA... We are the ever competitive people.... We don't mean any harm... Not trying to trump you... In fact..... You are our motivation!!!! WE LOVE OUR FRIENDS!!!! LOL

    LOL She is definitely a good friend all in all....she's there if you need her. But I'm so opposite of her when it comes to support. I'm the "keep going, you're doing great!" friend and she's the "anything you can do I can do better" friend...lol...by all means, if you can do it better then DO IT, girl! But not nice to squash my excitement...

    Just makes me want to completely avoid the topic of exercise all together with her.
  • crimsoncat
    crimsoncat Posts: 457 Member
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    My cousin does it to me with school. I'm in a veterinary medicine program and she's just finishing up her associates in nursing. Every time she sees me she goes on and on about how she as the much HARDER job and how overrated Doctors are. I'm also not a "real" doctor since I only treat animals (because learning how to treat many different species is just not that impressive).

    From what my mother tells me, nurses can be put down a lot by doctors in the field. I believe it, I think it's terrible! Where do Doctor's get off bellowing at nurses about how they're useless until they get and MD attached to their name? Every vet. tech I ever knew was EXTREMELY knowledgeable and a huge asset to the practice. No Vet. Doctor I worked with would put down their right hand man, EVER. Does that really happen in the human field? If so, that's just stupid!

    What I can't understand is why she feels the need to bring me down? I have been nothing but supportive and I am so pumped that she will be graduating tomorrow! I couldn't be more proud of her accomplishments. I just wish she could be proud of me too...

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