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What do people really want? A liar or believer???

ExplorinLauren
ExplorinLauren Posts: 991 Member
edited December 2024 in Health and Weight Loss
Do friends want you to hold them accountable? Or do they want you to appreciate their struggles, and identify with them?

Its hard sometimes! I have several friends that always do well... with an occasional slip here and there ( not really a slip, more just like "life" they are always on the ball doing the right things... my heroes!)

Then I have other friends, who ... ALWAYS are over their goals... if not always... then 3-4 days a week. Everyone says good job... nice day, wtg, yada yada... and I feel like an idiot, bc I don't want to say "wow you really fell off the wagon today...and yesterday, and 3 days ago, and last week" LOL But I don't want to say "wow, you did great today!" either.... But I feel like saying nothing isn't helping me or them.

But, at the same time, maybe they are doing better than they EVER have before. So maybe I should cut some slack?

SIGHHHHHH... Idk. :( I feel like saying something to them makes me that person... that says "hey, your significant other is cheating...now what?" lol I hate having to point out the obvious... but I hate lying about it too! :( What do you do??!

Replies

  • Akious
    Akious Posts: 71
    Im a guy so I don't know what the women want but for me, I wanted people to be hard on me. If i messed up, I wanted to know about it. Not give me false praise even though they knew i screwed myself over. If they are just starting, its fine to cheer them on for a while. but if they say they are serious about it and want to have someone there to let them know they slipped (like me) then be hard on them.
  • Tropical_Turtle
    Tropical_Turtle Posts: 2,236 Member
    if someone is low on protein for example I will sandwich it with a compliment, then recommendation, then another compliment. Seems to make it an easier "pill" to swallow
  • pj12string
    pj12string Posts: 128 Member
    Tell the truth, but do it with kindness and respect. If you are sincere then it should be well received. But I understand how hard it can be. I prefer people tell me the truth when I'm fooling myself, but most people know when they are slacking and you don't need to tell them they are, just asking if everything is ok may help them open up a good conversation with you where you can have an opportunity to encourage them to turn it around.
  • diver71_au
    diver71_au Posts: 424 Member
    If I wanted a cheer squad I would have played more sport ....

    Tell me truths and make me accountable - that's why I am here ..... but don't go dissing my subway cookies
  • ncthomas09
    ncthomas09 Posts: 322 Member
    I have recently fallen off the wagon myself and gotten back on and while I fell off I got no responses from anyone. But when I do great and all I hear about it. To me it's kind of like getting a gold star in kindergarten for doing your homework. You didn't get one if you didn't do your work. And me personally I don't say anything to people if they fall off because there may be a good reason they did and I don't know that.
  • Bobby_Clerici
    Bobby_Clerici Posts: 1,828 Member
    Do friends want you to hold them accountable? Or do they want you to appreciate their struggles, and identify with them?

    Its hard sometimes! I have several friends that always do well... with an occasional slip here and there ( not really a slip, more just like "life" they are always on the ball doing the right things... my heroes!)

    Then I have other friends, who ... ALWAYS are over their goals... if not always... then 3-4 days a week. Everyone says good job... nice day, wtg, yada yada... and I feel like an idiot, bc I don't want to say "wow you really fell off the wagon today...and yesterday, and 3 days ago, and last week" LOL But I don't want to say "wow, you did great today!" either.... But I feel like saying nothing isn't helping me or them.

    But, at the same time, maybe they are doing better than they EVER have before. So maybe I should cut some slack?

    SIGHHHHHH... Idk. :( I feel like saying something to them makes me that person... that says "hey, your significant other is cheating...now what?" lol I hate having to point out the obvious... but I hate lying about it too! :( What do you do??!
    Same here.
    And I have booted plenty who don't make the cut, and others have left the arena of accountability to cower in the estrogen echo chamber.
    Weak, insecure people would rather get a WTG as they rush toward a cliff like a lemming.
    Success oriented achievers see value in honest, free flowing feedback.
  • Cal28
    Cal28 Posts: 514 Member
    On here? On the days they do bad you don't have to call them on it but you could make a 'joke' or friendly comment/suggestion.

    I want to cut down on my after teatime choc/junk (despite being under calories still) so if I had two days in a row where I ate them I'd like someone to call me up on it.
    Maybe... "Having a bad week at work? Thought you weren't going to eat dessert every night ;-)" Just so it flags that I should focus a bit more and my friends will back me up.

    Or make a healthier suggestion "Had some grilled mango for dessert tonight it was AMAZING, you should try it"...

    That way you're being supportive and helping them without being too harsh. We all know sometimes it isn't easy to stay on track xx
  • Treesy72
    Treesy72 Posts: 230
    I was thinking the exact same thing today. I want to help and be helped not enable and be enabled.
  • jfan175
    jfan175 Posts: 812 Member
    Here's a great site for the hardcore of us:

    http://www.yourefatbecauseyourestupid.com/
  • Phoenix59
    Phoenix59 Posts: 364 Member
    I prefer honesty and that's what I give. Of course, I try to be respectful.
This discussion has been closed.

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