Break up blues

angrodriguez92
angrodriguez92 Posts: 193 Member
in Chit-Chat
I recently broke up with my partner of 3 years and I am wondering, what is the best way to move on? How do you get out of bed, how do you get your face out of the ben and jerrys pint? Or in my case, motivate yourself to eat a decent meal and hit the gym? Basically, what is your technique? What is your advice for overcoming break up blues?

Replies

  • skinnyinnotime
    skinnyinnotime Posts: 4,078 Member
    Well you need some time to rant, rave, cry, shout, cuss him and then when you're done you pick yourself up and make sure you eat properly and get on with your life and be successful.
  • ShareeMorty
    ShareeMorty Posts: 324 Member
    If only I knew, my marriage ended about 6 weeks ago. I thought I was dealing well with it when I had a complete meltdown at work yesterday resulting in my spending 40 minutes in the bathroom unable to stop crying and hyperventilating - now I am in the *kitten* with my boss for being unprofessional and I feel like a complete tard. I would have preferred not to lose it at work but I just snapped. I am really scared I am going to lose my job now.

    I have spent my entire life burying my feelings under a mountain of food and I have been really staunch about not eating my way though this. I however now need to learn how to deal with my feelings in a more healthy way.

    Good luck, it is hard. They tell me we will get through this.
  • 33neenaj
    33neenaj Posts: 306
    It's hard but only time really helps. Try to keep yourself occupied with things you love to keep your mind off the situation.
  • legs_n_bacon
    legs_n_bacon Posts: 478 Member
    My advice would be to keep yourself busy, get together with friends or family, take a class, volunteer. Just don't sit around the house thinking about it!

    It's much easier to get over it when the person you dumped is a dilhole. Good riddance!
  • angieroo2
    angieroo2 Posts: 970 Member
    It takes time. A lot of time. Keep yourself busy, make plans with friends. Look for events like stand up comedy, free concerts and shows (my city has all kinds of things all the time). Anything to keep yourself busy.
  • Onira76
    Onira76 Posts: 53 Member
    After the man i love told me he cant take this any further after a yo yo relationship, (mind you its not the first time he has told me this and then after a couple of weeks contacted me acting as if nothing happened) I walked away from him yesterday. I told him i couldnt do this anymore. I have blocked him on every social network and deleted his numbers and everything,

    This time I mean it, but it hurts. I too dont know how I will get over this and as dumb as this sounds I want him to contact me and tell me he made a mistake but I cant hope like this because I set myself up for disappointment. So as crazy as this sounds, I am pretending he is dead.

    PM me if you need to. Maybe we can rant and rave and cry together. For the first time though, I have no desire to eat at all.
  • angrodriguez92
    angrodriguez92 Posts: 193 Member
    Thank you for sharing your stories and advice.

    Sharee, I hope you do not lose your job. Hopefully your boss will be able to see that everybody is human and you are dealing with a big transition right now. I would suggest getting our aggression out at the gym then journaling about your sadness. Start a project. I decided to take a trip to my sister's place in boston and take a class while my ex packs their things and leaves. Surround yourself with family and friends but also take time to be on your own.

    Legs and Bacon, that is right, it is easier when they are a huge d bag. Unfortunately my ex is not. We were just at different places in life, maturity levels. It was mutual. Gag.

    Onira I think you really did the right thing. It sounds like the relationship wasn't good for you and you made a brave decision for yourself. If what it takes for you to move on is pretending hes dead, may he rest in pace. I'm gonna friend you.

    ALSO, what do you guys think of that saying,"best way to get over one guy is getting under another." ???

    and.... bump
  • sting5
    sting5 Posts: 408
    Not so sure about that saying..."best way to get over one is to get another", sometimes it's worse to be with someone else when you are not ready...it only makes you miss your partner more. My advice would be to keep busy, focus on the good things in your life, and let time go by. If gets better...give it time.
  • stepharega
    stepharega Posts: 211 Member
    First of all..(((HUGS)))

    I'm sorry, I know how rough it is. Especially being together that long..
    It's going to take a long time. But that's what heals you, time!
    Do everything you wanna do..Eat ice cream, pizza..but don't forget to take care of yourself!!
    Take it out at the gym!! Seriously. Don't wanna ruin YOURSELF by just isolating yourself and eating.
    Thats what I did! Big mistake!!
    It took about 3 or 4 years to COMPLETELY get over my ex. You'll get to a good place again.
    But do youself a favor, don't get hurt again. Change your number and completely move on.
    I've wasted SOOOO much time talking to my ex on and off for years. so much time..
    Go on tumblr! Go on pinterest! Find something to occupy all your time now. Time to find yourself again :)
    Good luck and I'm always here to listen!! :heart: :flowerforyou:

    *OH no..you don't exactly have to get under another to get over the one.. The gym will take care of that! But if you want to, thats fine too! Also, I found that amusement parks help tremendously. SCREAM YOUR BUTT OFF:D
  • Dahllywood
    Dahllywood Posts: 642 Member
    It takes time, unfortunately. I still sometimes think about my ex of 3 years, and we broke up over a year ago. But eventually you will realize that it didn't work out for a reason. I learned a lot about myself after my ex dumped me and I am now a completely different man, both mentally and physically. After she broke up with me, that's when I lost my 75 lbs and realized who I was and who I could potentially be and what I really want in life.
    It ended up being one of the best things to happen to me. Not saying that it will be the same for you, but life will get better :). Good luck.
  • MaraDiaz
    MaraDiaz Posts: 4,604 Member
    Well you need some time to rant, rave, cry, shout, cuss him and then when you're done you pick yourself up and make sure you eat properly and get on with your life and be successful.

    Yup. It can take time, whether you want it to or not.
  • amivox
    amivox Posts: 441 Member
    I have severe depression and I convince myself that my relationship is over all the time, so I just force myself to workout, force myself to eat, eat and workout through tears....

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